Cocktail of the Night

Ok, so last night it was Grateful Dead, that sweet, dark, trippy experience.

Tonight, I present to you (and to myself) the wild concoction:

Midnight Special

1 (1.5 fluid ounce) jigger rum
2 1/2 fluid ounces coffee flavored liqueur
4 fluid ounces cola-flavored carbonated beverage
1 teaspoon sweetened condensed milk

Before I posted that, I decided to whip up one drink, to try, just in case it was vile. I saw the ingredients, and I thought...condensed milk and coke, potentially ew.

As I sit here and sip this AWESOME, rich, subtle, creamy blend, I'm doing the math in my head to transfer that one-drink formula into a one-pitcher formula. (I make all my drinks by the pitcher.)

I can't begin to describe how awesome it is. It's sweet, but not incredibly sweet, rich, but not like "uugh", creamy but refreshing, with a dark flavor that only the coffee/cola blend can do. It's uncomprable to any other drinks I've ever tasted, but it's definitely going in my regular rotation.

My next BBQ

I was thinking about it, just now. How cool would it be to have a costume party, but with this as the theme "Dress Like You Did When You Were Eighteen". I think it would be fun. I would love to see all my grownup friends dress like they did when they were 18, what a trip down memory lane. Some of us haven't changed much, but some of us have changed drastically.

We've all grown up, and become conservative shadows of our youthful selves. Remember when you were passionate about your "look" and what group you fit in with? Everyone was, to some extent, I don't buy that "I didn't really care" notion. Everyone did it, even if it was wearing the right sports jersey, or just trying to look normal.

It would be so great to see the former jocks, nerds, hippies, urban types, punks, metalheads, and so on, come out of the closet of time. On top of that, tempered with that year's fashion. Remember Hypercolor shirts? Cavariccis? Hobie? Cross Colors, flannel, bermuda shorts, etc etc etc...I know you do...or if not, each era has their own brand of whatevers. I hear so many people say "I used to have a leather jacket" or "Wow, I used to have long hair, but I chopped it all off in college".

A while back, Harriet, Letty, and I were talking about makeup, and how we've evolved makeup-wise. I half joked that I was all dark, all the time "black lipstick, black eyeliner, black black black" Letty laughed, and said "ooh, you were one of those scary kids, haha" She used to wear bright red lipstick, and big gold hoop earings, and have big hair, hehe. She's Hispanic, grew up in a Hispanic neighborhood, and they were all hip-hop chikas, which is funny. I sat there trying to picture her in overalls and high tops, with huge hair, etc. She's so conservative, now, she dresses so nice. Harriet too, used to have big hair, and wild pink, blue, and green eyeshadow and she...well she used to dress like a hoochie. Short jean shorts, tank tops, little jackets, sundresses, half shirts, etc. Then, Mindy showed up last night in her Halloween costume "Mindy of 1994" and we had a laugh, haha, she looked just the way I remember her from when we started hanging out ('95), jeans, tee shirt, flannel, and pink hair. Of course, we got all nostalgiac.


Yeah, I would love to throw a party like that, but people wouldn't 'get it'. Too many of my friends are "too cool" to be dressing all silly like that. I'd do it (hell, I do it every day, to some degree).

[Listening to: No Nay Never - The Dubliners - (3:13)]

Weekend stuff

Last night was fun, but I fear I got Mindy hooked on The Sims 2. That's cool, it really is a great game, but why can't people get into MMO's like that!? I wish I could recruit RL friends into playing mmorpgs with me. Instead I get them hooked on The Sims, and watch as they dissapear into The Great Gaming Void.

I loved that drink, the Grateful Dead, it was awesome. I think I really blew my drinking fuse, though. Since that infamous night in September, I haven't been able to get drunk, or anything. I'm barely able to drink. Normally, nowadays a few drinks is my limit. Last week was the closest I got, by finishing that small bottle of Tequila Rose, and even then I was only buzzed.

Yesterday, I preordered WoW, by buying the box thing, at Best Buy. It came with a book, which I expected to ignore, mostly. I soon discovered that it's by Richard A. Knaak, one of my favorite fantasy authors! He wrote Legend of Huma, which is my all time favorite Dragonlance book (which is saying a lot, given how much I loved the Dragonlance series when I was younger) I got a few pages into the book, and I must say, I'm looking forward to reading it. It'll take the edge off the antsy waiting time, for the game to be released.

[Listening to: The wild rover - Dropkick Murphys - (3:25)]

Grateful Dead is GOOD

Yeah, the drink.

Mindy is here, I have company.

It's purple Coke, it's sweet, and boozy. I have a new drink.

Bringing the inner punk out

Not that it was all that deeply hidden...

But, this is the results of The Hair Experiment.

Whatchoo lookin at?!


Look out ladies!

*weep*

He's playing air guitar now. It does my heart good.

[Listening to: Used to Love Him - L7 - (2:11)]

Edit: I was sick of the pics distorting my blog, so I just linked them.

Wow, it's a record!

Three HOURS at the nail place, today. They do a great job, though. Part of the reason it takes so long is because we yak and giggle, and be girly. I've been going there for about six months, and the same two girls always work on me (sometimes Paul does, but mostly the girls) They're sisters, from Vietnam, they moved here with their family 11 years ago. They crack me up, we're all about the same age, and they have kids too. Sometimes it's very nice to be able to relate to people on that level. Being a young mother, and all. They do such a great job, I even let them pick my colors, sometimes. Today, they hooked me up with this color called Drama Queen It's almost the same color as my hair.

I feel pretty good, now. Renewed, and all. Shiny polished too.

Ally, thank you for the halo advice, that's perfect. I'm heading to the craft store, later. The old ladies there are used to me...I'm the only one that buys little naked babydolls, and little wooden boxes to glue them into.

[Listening to: I Love My Computer - Bad Religion - (3:06)]

I got my wings!

They're not the 5' long ones, that I saw weeks ago, but they're nice. Shorter, but instead of being all black, they're blood red, and black. Very cool. They match my freshly dyed hair.

I went out to another store, that carries my brand of dye, to see if they had my color left in stock, Black Widow. Lucky me, they had 5 bottles. I bought them all up, risking the stares of the barbie-girl cashier. I was like "These ARE getting discontinued, right?! Yeah? Got anymore in the back?" She shrugged. I bought the 5 bottles. Can you tell? I hate change. HATE IT. It shatters my universe when my favorite cosmetics get discontinued.

I also got me some fangs, too. Hell, I can work a nice pair of fangs into just about any [neck] costume (and even everyday wear, it'll give the soccer mommies something else to talk about). If only I could get them to stick. The putty stuff that comes with it, is crap. I'm going out today, to get some strong dental adhesive. I want to be able to BITE with these things. They're a good resin, too, they feel just like real teeth, and they're sharp as hell.

Now, to pull out the 328974287 black flowy dresses, to see which one goes with the wings. Oh, and make the halo. That might be a challenge. All they had at the costume shops were these ridiculous fluffy feathery halos. It's wrong, all wrong. I want barbed wire, dammit!

Alden's costume is almost done, too. I hacked the sleeves off a denim jacket, last night, sanded the hell out of it (to make it look old and frayed...hello flashbacks from highschool) and washed it a few times. It looks appropriately ratty now. When it's dry, I'll safety pin the patches on to it, and the buttons. That, his Sid Vicious tee, some torn up blue jeans, a leather studded belt, collar and bracelet...black nail polish on a few nails, and I'm gonna do something to his hair, but I don't know what yet. Oh, and the flaming Chucks, that we bought expressly for the occasion. He's going Old School.

[Listening to: Cantara - Dead Can Dance - (5:52)]

Neophyte blogger types!

FRESH MEAT!!!

A few new bloggers on the block:

First off, Mei Sharona, Tito's lovely lady, has discovered the fine art of writing a lot about pointless shit. His world will never be the same. We eagerly anticipate dirt.

Ally let one of her gremlins out of the box, and somehow he found his way to Blogspot... Let me introduce you to Partydawg's Blog

[Listening to: Heart Of Steel - Manowar - (5:07)]

Failed Tuna and a new drink

I can't believe it, I fucked up a batch of tuna salad. I'm so ashamed. Lets hope my food losing streak doesn't spill over to dinner...

Grateful Dead, a cocktail

1 part vodka
1 part rum
1 part tequila
1 part Triple Sec
1 part Chambord
4 parts Coke (not the drug, but the cola)

Oh hell yeah, I am SO trying that, this weekend. Stay tuned.

[Listening to: Heart Of Steel - Manowar - (5:07)]

Halloween

On a lighter note...

I ran into a friend, today, shopping, and she asked what I was gonna be for Halloween. I had some plans to be a Spider Fairy, like my tat, but time ran thin along with money, and I couldn't do a big scale costume like that (making the wings, hunting down some black and white tights, etc), so I got discouraged and decided to skip dressing up this year.

She was like "WHAAT?! YOU LOOKED SO GOOD LAST YEAR!! COME ON!!" Then she proceeded to convince me into getting dressed up...

I was like "well, I could do something with these 5 ft black angel wings, I found at a Halloween store..." If they still have them, I'm going with it. I have plenty of flowy black dresses, and stuff. Fishnets, and I'm gonna try to fashion a halo to look like barbed wire.

If they don't have the wings, I could always be a vampire, that's the cheap way out. Fangs, the right makeup, some tiny sunglasses, and basically my street clothes. My last fangs sucked, though, but I hear they made great improvements in the fang department, in the past few years. They have snap-molded ones, that custom fit themselves. It's worth a shot, at least.

I'm mulling this over, pretty much thinking aloud, and she started cracking up. OMG LISA IN A BLACK DRESS?! That's not Halloween...you're a Dark Angel every single day! Halloween for you, would be to dress up like a regular angel, or a schoolteacher or something, sheesh.

She's right, though. Maybe I should dress up like, I dunno, a soccer mom, or something. That'll really scare 'em.

[Listening to: Fever for the Flava - Hot Action Cop - (4:10)]

Fucked up dream

I had THE most fucked up dream ever, during a nap, today. I'm still bothered by it. Blog time.


Background: I seldom talk about my distant past, but this is crucial to understanding the dream. I'll make this as short as possible. Maybe one day I'll blog the details. In a nutshell. I hung out with this guy Shadow, when I was a kid. We were best friends/fuckbuddies. We each had our own SO's, but we were together, in an untypical sense, I guess. So, he had this little group, when I was with him, we ranged in numbers from 4-7, and we thought we were some serious bad-ass shit. We sparred with live steel all the time, carried katanas under our trenchcoats, got into real fights, etc. We lived in a dark fantasy world, basically, and it was exhilarating. I 'broke up' with him, and the group, when I was 18. Long story short, he stalked me for three months, and that culminated into him breaking into my house, and trying to kill me. He got arrested, etc. There's loads of details to that, but unpertinent to my dream.

That was all RL, and distant past, now for the dream.

Irv, Alden and I were in 'our house' which was similar to the one we're in now, but the one in the dream was bigger, and on a more rural road. I was in the kitchen, when I saw Shadow and Anthony (another dangerous character, human poison, that one) cross the lawn. I didn't really think anything of it. They walked up to my kitchen window, that I was peering out of, and I ducked down real quick. They looked inside with binoculars, then sorta milled around a little, and left. (n real life, this would send me to the phone, dialing 911, in the dream, I was like "hunh".

Time passed, in the dream, and it was understood that stuff like that happened a few more times, like it was clear they were casing our place, or scoping us out, or something. It didn't happen in the dream, but I "knew" it, and for some reason didn't say anything about it.

It happened Sunday afternoon, it was definitely a Sunday, and sunny as hell out, almost supernaturally so. Shadow and Anthony showed up again, but this time at the bar across the street. I kept seeing them go in and out, and glare at the house. Soon kids started showing up. Kids of all ages, from young 9-10 year olds, right up to 20somethings, and milling around in the bar parking lot. Every time I looked out there, there were more kids. I told Irv "um, maybe we should call someone, this is getting scary" He agreed, and I called the police. They wouldn't send anyone, except one EMT. The EMT showed up, parked in front of the house, hopped out of the ambulence, and sorta leaned on the hood all casually.

Soon, all the kids started organizing, and lining up. They lined up like kids do for group school pictures, in rows. There were easily over a hundred of them. Taller ones in the back, some sitting, some crouching. Directly across the street, and all facing the front of our house. They had huge stockpiles of rocks, and tiny hard pumpkins. I called out to the EMT, "aren't you gonna do something?" He said "lets just hope your windows hold out" and he hopped back in his ambulance. Shadow and Anthony were in plastic chairs in the bar parking lot, and seemingly uninterested in the whole thing, but, you knew they were organizing it, because they kept glancing at certain people, and nodding. They appeared to be deep in an unrelated conversation, but their eyes were different.

It was over almost as soon as it started, they swarmed the house, hurling rocks, and hard little pumpkins, banging on the doors and windows, trying to get in, at us. We stayed in the living room to watch, but well away from any windows. But that only lasted a few minutes. Sirens started wailing, and they all dissapeared into the house next door. There was all this commotion, and it started getting dark out.

Then, it was like something really awful happened. You know, when there's a house fire or something, and the neighbors all mill around staring? Well, that's what was happening, all our neighbors were hanging around, filing in and out of this house, somberly. The kids were everywhere also just sorta standing around all somber. It looked almost like a house party, but no one was partying.

For some reason, we went over there to see what was up, filing in the front door slowly along with everyone else. I got sidetracked in a hallway, because there was this kid that looked like Alden, there, but he was blonde, and older. I glanced up, through to another room, looked like a living room, and there was Shadow sitting on a couch, with a girl in one arm, and Anthony sitting next to him, laughing and having a good time. He didn't notice us, and he was a safe distance away.

I crouched down near the little boy, and asked "Do you follow Shadow?". He was like "yeah, I love him". I told him, "He's a predator, do you know what that is?" The kid looked unsure, so I explained to him how a hawk eats harmless mice, for sustinance, and how the hawk doesn't care what it hurts, as long as it gets to eat. While I was kneeling there, more little kids gathered around, and listened to my pleas. One goes "that's bullshit, he loves us".

I was about to reply with, "I thought he loved me too, I used to be one of you" but just then, the one that opened his mouth, looked over my head, and scooted to the right, a little. All in one motion, I heard this loud percussive bang that I felt with every fiber of my body, it seemed to go off in the room, and in my head at the same time, accompanied by a warm THUMP, in my left ear. The bang was so realistic, I can still hear it, almost. I *felt* it.

Here's where it gets weird to describe. I had gotten shot in the head. Shadow was standing right behind me, and when I fell, he said "I knew I'd get you eventually". But, in my dream, I got up, and I was like "no, no, it's cool! I'm ok, check it out, I'm fine!" I kept saying that, and I walked forward, and around the corner, where I thought the EMT might be, or some help or something. But, at the same time, I knew I wasn't fine, that I was lying there dead, and people were reacting like I was killed.

Then I woke up.

It's so strange, the dream was so vivid and realistic, and detailed, I'm not sitting here recalling it like it was some patchy weird dream. It feels like a memory, and that really bothers me. I've never had a dream do that before.

Generally, I analyze my dreams, to find some thread of meaning, or why I dreamed it, or something. I'm still so fucked up over this, I don't want to touch it, yet.

[Listening to: 1000 Memories - Bad Religion - (3:00)]

OMG AN EPIDEMIC!

You Are Scary

You even scare scary people sometimes!

How scary are you?

Have I mentioned? I love bloggy quizzies.

[Listening to: Love's So Heavy - Henry Rollins Band - (3:52)]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TITO!!

OMG, I am remiss in my Birthday etiquette! When you told me, back about a month ago, I was like "ooh, cool, I'll be sure to wish him a happy birthday on my blog"

That's what that "dammit what was I going to say?" entry down there was for, NOW I REMEMBER!





Happy Birthday, man!

[Listening to: Best Sunday Dress (unplugged) - Hole - (3:05)]

OMG Ally found this, but OMG

You Know You're From New Jersey When...

You've been seriously injured at Action Park. You know that the only people who call it "Joisey" are from New York (usually The Bronx) or Texas. You don't think of citrus when people mention "The Oranges." You know that it's called "Great Adventure," not "Six Flags." You've ordered a hard roll with butter for breakfast. You've known the way to Seaside Heights since you were seven. You've eaten at a diner, when you were stoned or drunk, at 3 am. Whenever you park, there's a Camaro within three spots of you. You remember that the "Two Guys" were from Harrison. You know that the state isn't one big oil refinery. At least three people in your family still love Bruce Springsteen, and you know what town Jon Bon Jovi is from. You know what a "jug handle" is. You know that a WaWa is a convenience store. You know that the state isn't all farmland. You know that there are no "beaches" in new Jersey - there's "The Shore," and you know that the road to the shore is "The Parkway" not "The Garden State Highway." You know that "Piney" isn't referring to a tree. Even your school cafeteria made good Italian subs, and, you call it a "sub" not a "submarine sandwich" or worse yet, a "hoagy" or a "hero." You remember the song from the Palisades Park commercials. You know how to properly negotiate a Circle. You knew that the last question had to do with driving. You know that "Acme" is an actual store, not just a Warner Bros creation. You know that this is the only "New..." state that doesn't require "New" to identify it (like, try ...Mexico, ...York, ...Hampshire (doesn't work, does it?). You know how to translate this conversation: "Jeet yet?" "No, Jew?" You only go to New York City for day trips, and you only call it "The City." You know that a "White Castle" is the name of BOTH a fast food chain AND a fast food sandwich. You consider a corned beef sandwich with lettuce and mayo a sacrilege. In the 80's you wore your hair REALLY high. You don't think "What exit" (do you live near?) is very funny. You know that the real first "strip shopping center" in the country is Route 22. You know that no respectable New Jerseyan goes to Princeton - that's for out-of-staters. The Jets-Giants game has started fights at your school or local bar. You live within 20 minutes of at least three different malls. You can see the Manhattan skyline from some part of your town. You've gotten on the wrong highway trying to get out of Willowbrook Mall. You've eaten a Boardwalk cheesesteak with vinegar fries. You have a favorite Atlantic City casino. You live within 20 minutes of at least three different malls. You refer to all highways and interstates by their numbers. Every year you have at least one kid in your class named Tony. You know the location of every clip shown in the Sopranos opening credits. You know that people from North Jersey go to Seaside Heights, and people from Central Jersey go to Belmar and people from South Jersey go to Wildwood. You weren't raised in New Jersey -- you were raised in either North Jersey, Central Jersey or South Jersey. You don't consider Newark or Camden to actually be part of the state. You remember the stores Korvette's, Two Guys, Rickel's, Channel, Bamberger's and Orbach's. You also remember Palisades Amusement Park. You start planning for Memorial Day weekend in February. You've never pumped your own gas. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from New Jersey.

Get Your Own "You Know You're From" Meme Here



More cool things for your blog at
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THAT'S CRAZY!

[Listening to: Low Self Opinion - Henry Rollins Band - (5:25)]

Oh man...

I opened up the editing program, but I forgot what I was gonna say. Dammit, I hate that.

[Listening to: Malibu (Rare Acoustic) - Hole - (2:28)]

Wee quizzes!

You Are a Snarky Blogger!

You've got a razor sharp wit that bloggers are secretly scared of. And that's why they read your posts as often as they can!

What kind of blogger are you?

Wooh!

Congrats GE He's gone and spawned, his wife is due in June! I'm so happy for you guys! Just what the world needs, a mini-you...*shudder* Lets hope your wife's genes are stronger...

[Listening to: Theme Song - Lunachicks - (6:40)]

The Suck

Last night, in all the commotion, the mister lost the car keys. I still can't find them. Three cheers for my spare set, but still. My house key is on there too, etc etc.

Also, some bitchass punk fucker stole two pumpkins from my little fall harvesty decoration, outside. I CAN'T FUCKING HAVE ANYTHING NICE. It sucks, because they were the little ones we bought for Alden to paint (which we were gonna do tonight, paint and carve them up). He noticed on his way out, this morning, and he was heartbroken. Now I have to go get replacements, but still. I'm thinking of making a sign.

"TO THE BITCHASS PUNK WHITE TRASH MOTHERFUCKER WHO STOLE MY SON'S PUMPKINS...I hope you fucking enjoy them."

I hate this town. Have I mentioned that? I hate living across the street from a bar. I hate living on a main road. I hate this town.

Today=The Suck

[Listening to: The Ripper by Judas Priest - Iced Earth - (2:41)]

Poor Frankie

I leave the house this morning, to take Alden to school, and stop at my mom's house. Gone an hour, total, and I come home to Harmony hanging off my moniter, leaning into the tank. The repaired screen on top of Frankie's tank is all blown out again, more gouges, and he's way in the corner.

This can't be good for him.

I can't leave him alone in the house, I'm not sure what to do, when I have to go get Alden. If it were warmer out, I would just take him with me, but bringing him out in 40 degree weather would kill him, surely. I want to buy the reinforced metal screen lid, but I can't even leave the house to go do that. He's got no protection, now, the screen is useless, hanging.

I'm thinking about kicking the cat outside, but that's cruel too. She's been an indoor cat, since she was a kitten, winter's coming, and we live on a very busy street (two of our cats already got nailed, since I've been living here, but the mister said there's literally dozens buried in this yard, and that one.) Having her live outside isn't really an option.

Short term solution: Lock one of them in the bathroom, while I go out. (the only room with a functioning door...long story). It'll probably be the cat, less of a hassle to get her in there, and she could do with a little isolation, the bitch.

[Listening to: Never Is A Promise - Fiona Apple - (5:56)]

Close Call

It really was. This sort of thing makes me examine why I keep pets. Like, do I need this kind of stress on top of things? I'm seriously ready to get rid of the cat. I mean, I love her, we've had her for 4+ years, since she was a wee kitten, but she's getting really bad. Lately, she's been pissing around the house, and I don't know why. We keep her litter box spotless (we have to, it's in the kitchen...) but, she's pissed in our bed a few times in the past few weeks. Luckily, it's only been in the blankets, never seeped through to the mattress. I swear, I'd hurl the thing right out onto the lawn, and sleep on an air mattress, till we could replace it. So, pissing, and she's been antisocial, too. She doesn't sleep with us anymore, and she acts all distancy.

Today, though...I don't know, if she doesn't shape up, she's outta here.

We went to my mom's for dinner, were there from about 3, till close to 9 pm. Arrived home to a Scene, that made my heart leap out of my chest. First off, the living room was in RUIN. The TV tray I usually have near my computer desk was knocked over, and the stuff on it, spilled across the floor. Frankie's two lamps were on the floor, but still on (HELLO FIREHAZARD, a 60w bulb, laying on the rug) and his tank was all fucked up. The branch was down, his dishes were all upturned...but it looked like the lid was still closed. Moved some stuff, to get to it (seriously, furniture was knocked over) praying that it really was still closed, and discovered the truth. The cat had RIPPED the screen clean off. She broke the plastic frame, that the screen was anchored in, gouged the screen itself, and tore it off wholesale. Words can not describe the horror...

Background: 6 years ago, we had a cat named Bailey, and a juvenile beardy named JD. Bailey once got into JD's tank, and well...we thought he at JD. We tore the house apart looking for the poor lizard, and nothing. Seriously, JD was gone. I looked through Bailey's litterbox for remains, for the next month, and nothing. I cleaned out his tank, but left it up. I was heartbroken, I loved my JD, only had him for about 6 months. Fast forward 6 weeks. I was awoken by some commotion, one morning, and I swear to god, I thought I saw a ghost. There was JD, on the floor of my bedroom, near the bed...paper white, and thin as a rail. I nearly died, I scooped him up, and soaked him real quick (he was clearly dehydrated) and got him back situated as fast as possible. His orbital was broken, then healed, so he lost the use of one eye, and he was missing toes, and the tip of his tail, but he was ALIVE. The sad thing is, that after that, he was a changed reptile, never let anyone pick him up, he was very agressive, and skittish, and he never grew after that. Those 6 weeks must have been insanely stressful, I still don't know where he was living, or what he was living on...the mister thinks cat food, and sleeping under the fridge.

Anyway: Tonight, it's like a fucked up flashback. Get home, empty tank, beardie nowhere to be found. We tore the living room apart, and the mister found Frankie under the printer cart, alive, uninjured, and very very cold. He didn't seem too stressed, though, he wasn't freaking out. Just, cold. He's back home, we did an emergency repair on the screen lid, and it's good as new. He's fine, eating normally, etc.

I'm not fine, though. God. I'm still shaky from losing Pixie, earlier this year. Losing another one would kill me. Seriously, I would stop keeping pets, totally, I think. Just..I don't know, I couldn't handle it. Frankie is just a little baby, and so full of life. Thinking of him being injured in any way...well, I'd rather not.

The cat, on the other hand, might be looking for new living quarters, soon, seriously. We were both out of the room, earlier, and I caught her staring him down again, and intimidating him. That's gotta be stressy for the little guy. I totally can't trust her. Tomorrow, I'm getting the metal-screen reinforced lid, cat-proof, but still her peering at him, and batting at the glass is enough to shock him. Here I thought I could trust her, she was so docile when we had JD, and she's never cast Pris a second glance. Fucking bitch of a cat. I'm harboring ill will towards her, now. I'm not sure what to do.

[Listening to: Lady in black - Dark tranquillity - (4:19)]

Remote!

I'm at my mom's house, waiting around for dinner...trying to type on a non-natural keyboard. I feel like a blind three year old...

I'm also bored off my ass. Hi blog <3

Today is The Mister's b-day, he's 36 (omg) but we're not really celebrating it today, no money, haha. Next week, I'm taking him out, and all. He hates his birthday, anyway. His mother died very close to his 14th, so it's sorta a gloomy, moody time. I've learned to keep things low key.

Before people get nosy and start reading over my shoulder, I'm outta heere...

Monkeys!

Which monkey are you?
Another pointless diversion from Bijouriel

[Listening to: Antisocial - Anthrax - (4:25)]

On the up side

I managed to drink last night, without getting sloppily, crazy wasted. No hangover this morning! Woot!

I also swapped out the nipple rings, without incident. No more 12g pink pearl captive bead rings. Now I've moved on to the spiderweb shields. I think, though, that these are gonna be more ornamental than anything. They really are shields, full ones, unlike my little half-heart ones. Nipple chastity belts! I can barely get to them, through all the jewelry. But man, how cute are they...spiderwebs. Yeah, I took pics.

[Listening to: Stained Class - Judas Priest - (5:20)]

So I'm like...

Yeah, I'm so not into the porn thing.

"why?"

"All those skinny ass girls getting fucked, eh, yuck, makes me feel yucky about myself"

Meh, he argued with me. Said I'm pretty, said loads of people would be attracted to me.

Porn. Blegh.

I'm rather happy sitting here, drinking slowly, listening to my tunes, chillin and being drunk. Porn. It's overrated.

SATURDAY MORNING CLARITY EDIT:

I was going to make this a comment, but, I figured it was more necessary to post here.

See, I must come off like I'm totally anti porn. I'm really not, I swear. We have tons of movies, ones that I picked out even, ones with lush, natural, fuller figured girls, etc. But, it has a time and a place, like anything, and in the right setting, I greatly enjoy it. My own batch of stuff that turns me on, etc. He's making me hate it, though.

I'm just...tired of it, first waking up every morning to a pornographic playlist, then having it pushed on me all the time, at weird moments.

That was my first night drinking, in over a month and a half, so I was taking it easy. As soon as I got a little tipsy, he started pestering me to watch a 'movie'. I was annoyed, because it was early, and I really was having a fine time just relaxing. Then, he got pissy, because I shot down his idea, and he sulked, tarnishing my idyllic little drinking hazy happiness.

I was almost more pissy because he kept trying to make me turn off my music, and stop chatting to put on some stupid porn clips, (none of the ones he downloaded are even remotely a turn on, to me, unfortunately). I told him no, and he turned into a petulant kid.

The more he whined, the more he sulked (and my god, he was at it for two hours, when I finally snapped, and posted this blog entry) I was like, "WHAT THE FUCK IS THE BIG FUCKING DEAL!? Why does it always gotta be porn? Why can't we just fucking chill?" Again, I felt, afterwhile like it's some kind of crutch, for him.

I do anything in my power to make sure all his fantasies are fulfilled, I go above and beyond the call of wifely duty, believe me. Not only is he 'getting it' he pretty much gets it any way he wants it, any time. I'm a crazy, kinky, sexual person, here, not some frigid naive little girl. There's not much I won't try. But, his obsession with it does make me feel unnattractive. I'm sure I'm fine, but (especially when I'm tipsy) my self esteem gets rather fragile.

So, mainly my gripe is, why the porn? Really, what's the big fucking deal, all the time? This isn't just a once a month thing, like where he wants to throw in a movie, and I'm like "no". Why so goddamned pushy about it? This is almost a constant thing, and I'm just tired of it. I've asked him point blank, when we were sober, why, all the time, and he just shrugs.

I was in the mood to have sex, last night. Early on, I was downright horny, but after all that, I lost it. I went to sleep, last night moody, annoyed, and unfulfilled.

[Listening to: I Remember You (live) - Sebastian Bach - (5:59)]

FUCKERS!

I'm half in the bag, and I want to have fun.

EVERYONE'S BEING QUIET BITCHES TONIGHT.

Fuck, I might just go game, or something.

[Listening to: Minnie The Moocher - Cab Calloway - (3:23)]

Off the wagon...

I had a nice Hypnotiq martini with dinner tonight. Ohhh it was sooo good. So good in fact, that we stopped at the liquor store on the way home, and bought some ice, and stuff, and now I'm drinking a double shot of dark rum in my Chai latte.

[Listening to: Drowned Maid - Amorphis - (4:20)]

MOODSWING!

For the better, for once!

Ok, I was pissing and moaning, down there, right. Then Ally got on, and we started talking. This is our chat log, here. Hate chatlogs, whatever, it's my blog, if I wanted to type the letter q over and over 9 million times, I would. Buckle up and read it. Ok, I'll bold the really key parts, but still this is a window upon our brilliance.

allerielle : hey
allerielle : for a guild name
allerielle : what do you think of The Burning Hands
allerielle : kinda goes with The Black Hand
allerielle : yeah?
sisdeth13: Oh, yeah, I like that
sisdeth13: good magey name, too
sisdeth13: we could have a whole string of affiliate sub guilds
sisdeth13: omg
allerielle : yes?
sisdeth13: get someone to make a tank guild, called The Crushing Hand, or something
allerielle : hehe
sisdeth13: The Healing Hand
sisdeth13: dude
sisdeth13: this could be huge
allerielle : global even
sisdeth13: INTERPLANETARY!
allerielle : I was reading something
allerielle : and it really made me think of us
allerielle : so
allerielle : Lilija, you are a planet.
sisdeth13: oh c'mon, I lost like 40 lbs
allerielle : No silly
sisdeth13: hehe
allerielle : you are a planet
sisdeth13: I know
allerielle : and
allerielle : i'm a planet
sisdeth13: ok...
allerielle : and do you know what happens when planets collide?
sisdeth13: um, dust and gas explosions?
allerielle : they make a whole new universe
sisdeth13: baby planets?
sisdeth13: planetoids?
allerielle : baby planets
allerielle : LOL
sisdeth13: ohyeah
sisdeth13: rawwk
allerielle : you arent being very helpful to my thingy here
allerielle : so
sisdeth13: I'm sorry, I'm giggling at being a planet
allerielle : we're a whole new universe
allerielle : sorry
allerielle : i should have let yo get past that
sisdeth13: ok, we're a whole new universe, I like that, and I can see what you mean
allerielle : isnt it great?
allerielle : i'm so silly
sisdeth13: It really is
allerielle : but it totally makes sense
sisdeth13: Like, in this sense is how I get it
sisdeth13: you're your own person, with this whole evolved ecosystem, I mean shit, you were a monarch in AC. You're not some noob, hanger on, you have this whole great established thing going.
sisdeth13: Right
sisdeth13: on the boards, online, just in general
sisdeth13: and, me too. Not monarchy-standards, I guess, but I have my own brand of infamy and my own little social ecosystem, going
allerielle : yeah!
allerielle : and we have our own way of going about things
sisdeth13: yeah, I was gonna say next, that it all extends to rl even
allerielle : yep
sisdeth13: you have your whole established State of Being, like I do
sisdeth13: and, somehow, we can mix, and meld well, socially, State of Being wise, and it's this great whole thing
allerielle : YES
allerielle : you get it!
allerielle : thats
allerielle : orgasmic
sisdeth13: and, NOW, that I'm all fired up about WoW, right...we have this totally fresh place to plant the seeds of our new universe
sisdeth13: the possibilites are endless
allerielle : YES
sisdeth13: at least, online.
allerielle : its like
allerielle : lilija and ally world
sisdeth13: Seriously!
sisdeth13: Exactly!
allerielle : ahhh
allerielle : i'm so happy
allerielle : like
allerielle : this whole morning ahs been so GREAT
allerielle : i'm just so happy
sisdeth13: hehe, yeah, I gotta say today started out way better than yesterday
sisdeth13: life is good

I'm not sure why, but that all made me feel pretty good about things in general. It's just a cool feeling, I guess. Just 'getting it'. It's this whole deep understanding thing. It transcends cliques, and online-ness. It goes past basic social interaction. Seriously, it has to manifest itself online, because we live pretty far apart, but if we were neighbors, we could take over the world, I think.

Non gamers don't understand this, but a new mmo is like this wide open, freshly tilled field of possibilites. Till now, it's been Lili playing Lili's game, and Ally playing Ally's game, but now...now this is gonna be Ally and Lili's dynamic new little seedling universe, and it's gonna be huge, I think.

Even old games, like AC are ripe grounds for forging great friendships. Honestly, I can say, I've met all my best online friends outside of AC, but we got closer, gaming together. There's this relationship that develops through questing together, helping each other out, trusting each other, just doing stuff together etc, that just doesn't happen in basic chat.

But, Ally was talking planets, it goes past gaming. Ally has Ally's way of being, and she's doing well in her life, and I've got my own (I guess I'm doing well, I'm alive at least, and reasonably healthy) and we're not trying to compete or clone, or outdo each other. She's in her place, I'm in mine, we can learn a lot from each other, and share ideas happily, with no motives or strangeness. It's this total symbiosis. We have fun, joking, friendly competition, but it's healthy, not weird.

What a cool little epiphany Ally had, it really perked me up :)

[Listening to: Cemetary Gates - Pantera - (7:02)]

Friday already?

Fastest week, ever. It's Michele Day, so that's cool as hell. It's patchy, we both have stuff to do, that's gonna break up the day a little bit, but we're still hanging out.

I feel better than I did yesterday, about the whole house thing. It came as a shock, hearing all that on the phone, and having the whole situation presented to me in such a manner, felt like hitting a brick wall. After mulling it over, checking finances, pricing materials, really weighing up the jobs, I feel reassured. We can get this shit done. It'll still be assy, but in the end, I think things are going to work out for the better. Things are moving at my pace, now, not their pace, so we sorta have more control over things. That's a good feeling.

I'm so complacent about the whole house thing now. I've gotten to the point, now, where it's like "What's the worst thing that can possibly happen?" Honestly, if it burned to the ground, this very moment, not only wouldn't I be suprised, but I wouldn't be all strung out about it. Shit. That house is cursed, I'm starting to think. People who know me, know better than to ask about it. "How's the house going" is a surefire way to set me off. I can't let it eat away at me, though, like it used to. Fuck it, it'll be over soon.

Every single aspect of it, without fail (except maybe the installation of the countertops) has been royally fucked. There are so many details that I don't blog, but are just major wrenches in progress. Just yesterday, in fact, at the same time I was on the phone with Graef the Gas Company showed up to hook the meter to the house, set it, and turn on our gas. The assholes showed up, and left without doing it. Called the gas company later, thinking they never came. They said "the meter wasn't hooked to the house gas line, so we couldn't set it. You have to hook it up, they said. But but...YOU'RE THE GAS COMPANY! It's one piece. Fuck, I can screw it together with my hands, in about 14 seconds. But, when I set the appointment, it was all "ok, someone will be out there to hook it up and set the meter, on the 21st" And by hooking it up, I thought they meant, y'know HOOKING THE FUCKING THING UP. No. They were there and gone, and now won't be back till November 3rd.


You know what. I'm done with bitching. I was gonna rant on, but I just had a sort of an epiphany. No more bitching, I'm having a great morning, and I'm gonna leave it at that.

[Listening to: Serenity Painted Death - Opeth - (9:13)]

Damn blogger

For every good thing, there's something slightly botchy. My comments are all fucked. Lets try publishing this new post, and see how that does.

I have this massive tension headache, sparked from that incident before. I'm grouchy.

[Listening to: Hallowed Be Thy Name - Iron Maiden - (7:51)]

Impass

I just got off the phone with Jim Graef. He's my inspector, sort of the go-between, for this bank loan, involving the house. He's there to dole out money, to the contractor and the homeowner, and inspect things to see that they're moving.

Well, it's a fact, that things AREN'T moving. Since The Fight, things haven't even taken a baby-step, as far as Joe the Contractor is concerned. The electricity is 2 steps away from being done. The gas is getting hooked up today, the plumbing is also 2 steps from being done. That stuff has been moving, albeit slowly. Joe, however hasn't been here in months. He's was silent for awhile, about things, waiting. Now, he won't come work unless I give him more money. I only OWE him 3k for the whole rest of this job, and he wants it. He's not DONE with the work. Not nearly done. I told him plainitively that since that is less than 10% of the full cost of the job, he's not entitled to it, until I get a Code of Occupancy, the final inspection. Because I KNOW his work won't pass, and it's his responsibility, contractually, to make it right. So, no money till it passes, period, I'm firm on it. Mr. Graef is firm on it. It's just the way to do business. It's a total stalemate.

Now, here's where it gets complicated. There are so many more elements to this, now. Ok. A) Since the fight, he's not allowed on the property, just his partner, or his guys. Fine. Not him. That was ok, for awhile...but now all his guys were either fired, or quit. It's just him and his partner, now. How's that for bad business practices. I actually liked some of his guys, a few of them were good workers. We ran into this guy Peto a few weeks ago, and he said "yeah, none of work for him anymore, he's pretty much by himself, he fired this and that guy, and the rest of us quit, he's a scumbag". Marvelous.

Complication B) He's announced that he's going to Florida, next month. He's SKIPPING TOWN. He peeled the names off his truck. There is no more business, as far as the law's concerned.

The situation is as follows: He wants more money, to come in and not work, so that he only has about $500 left at the very end, for CO time, which he won't even be around for, because he's leaving for Florida, forever. He wants $2500 right now, to come in and "finish" his job. Which in English, means, he wants me to fund him, so he can skip town, and fuck me out of the rest of this job, and never see him again. He won't come back for $500. So, I'm firm. Not another penny, till he finishes his end of the deal.

My stomach is in knots, right now, I just worked all this out, with Mr. Graef on the phone. He's saying, right now, the ONLY thing we can do, is finish EVERY SINGLE other thing, needed, to fulfill the loan, meaning in this house and the garage, too. Stuff I was planning on doing after the main house was done, and we were moved. Stuff that can wait, due to money, and inconvienience. Resheetrock our bedroom (that we're sleeping in) and other stuff around here, and put a new roof on the garage. He suggests that we do that within the next 10 days, ideally, so that wer'e done with every single thing that's our responsibility, and the blame falls solidly on Joe, now, for not being around to finish things.

Why is my stomach in knots? Why am I freaking out, shaking, about to throw up? We're not allowed to do another draw on the loan money, until Joe gets his final. So, we can't do another draw till the very end. That's replacing a garage roof, out of our pockets, and drywalling a bedroom, all out of our pockets. Did I mention? We've done everything, since June, out of our pockets. There was that one draw, early May, for 7 grand, and that only went so far. It bought cabinets, paid the electrician, halfway, and bought the flooring for the hall, bathroom, Alden's room, and laundry room, as well as misc linoleoum for closets and whatnot. WE paid out of pocket for the plumbing fixtures and appliances, that's a new stove, fridge, dryer, hot water heater, kitchen sink, bathroom sink, light fixtures, masonry work, and god, so much more. Dollar signs. It comes to over 10k, totally. Shit, the lights and smoke alarms, alone for the house came to over $600. We have no more savings. There's very little left, we've started living paycheck to paycheck.

But wait, there's more. Joe was already paid to do the bedroom, and put new cabinets in the kitchen of this little house, that we're living in, it was part of his contract, already. After the fight, I put my foot down, I said that I didn't want the bastard in my house. (and I don't) and that he was to refund the money for that, and we'd have it done by someone else. We have that wiggle room, where we might be able to get him to do it, anyway. But that means backing down, and letting this violent drug abusing asshole in MY house, in MY bedroom, to do work.

I feel so lost. I feel so fucked. I'm so sick about this. Literally sick, waves of nausea, everything. I can honestly say, what the fuck, I don't know what to do. I don't know what to DO. I almost want to cry, but I can't even, I feel like a husk.

[Listening to: Jeremy - Pearl Jam - (5:19)]

Oh no...

Ally did it. She talked me into the darkside.

After quitting AC, the final time, I decided that I'd had it, had it up to *here* with MMO's. No more of this monthly fee bullshit. I'd gone the route of Arte, and signed off on them totally. Social gaming? Sure, lets play NWN or Rise of Nations.

But, she showed me WoW screen shots. We talked about it this morning, forever. Even when we both had to GO OMG I HAVE TO GO...we kept on. I read the site. I read the FAQ. They left no stone unturned. They took all the bad or weird awkward things out of gaming. I'm in love with this game. I want to preorder it.

I'll never get over my gaming addiction. It's been ongoing since I was a kid, into paper and pencil games, like D&D and Cyberpunk. Then came computer games...and I go in waves, sometimes I'm a junkie, playing 15 hours a day, stopping to eat, shower, and feed my family. Sometimes, not even that...I spent a few (ok, more than a few) nights in front of AC, with ordered pizza...gone unshowered for 2 days or more....yeah, I'm a junkie. Other times, I can go for months, without ever firing up a game, at all. They become a chore. I've been on that kick for awhile. Had a brief reprieve with The Sims 2, but that lasted for a few days, only. Sims is a "if I have nothing at all better to do" boredom reliever, type thing. Always has been, still is. Rise of Nations is my other latest, which is cool, but again, it's good in hour or two blocks.

I'm all excited about a new game, just the newness and the ever important "ooh" factor is gonna be great. Will it be another AC2 (which I wanted to love, I so wanted to love it for ever and ever...it had such potential. It was fun for a little while, at least) or will it live up to the hype?

[Listening to: Changes - Black Sabbath - (4:40)]

Laundromat!!

Wooo!! I spent a buck to do this blog entry! Just because I love you guys and want to share every menial detail of my life... Sheer boredom is probably a motivator, too. 4 loads of Alden's clothes, and 2 of clothes that we're getting rid of. Too mmuch for the house machine. But it means an hour and a half of yelling at the boy not to climb on the folding tables, and staring at the clothes swishing around. *yawn* My time is almost up...

Blindsided!

There I was, having this crazily arousing dream, during my nap, this morning. The dog starts barking, and runs to the door...she's barking like someone's there. I lay there for a second and try to establish if it's worth getting up, and since my dream has gone poof (I so wish I could remember more of it...) I do. Hell, it might be a package delivery. As soon as I stand up, my migrane come RUSHING back (the whole purpose of the nap, was to try to shake this week long headache). I go to the door, and before checking who it is (mistake) I throw it open.

Guess who it was. No guess.

Betty, the rabid Jehovah's Witness. It's too late. She saw me.

I stand out there, in a tee shirt, no bra, and drawstring pajama pants, in the 48 degree weather, nippin like crazy (because it's freezing, and because that dream got me me all sorts of fired up), my hair standing all up, with sleepy grains in my eyes, looking vaguely annoyed and put out, while she pestered me with tracts and doomsaying. Blegh. Elise was with her, though, the daugter of the woman I really liked, but lost touch with, so I ignored Betty the Crazed, and chatted with Elise about her family, how her mom was doing, etc.

I can't believe I got shaken out of The Perfect Nap, for this. Man. I'm so bummed out. Damn JW's. I'm putting an electric fence up.

[Listening to: The Ritual - Testament - (7:27)]

Updated link!

Ally finally came over to the darkside and joined us here on Blogger! Loook at her pretty blog, now, over at Raindrops Keep Falling Ally is my good twin, I'm the evil one. Though she sports some deep down evility that I couldn't even dream of.

[Listening to: Low - Cracker - (4:33)]

Salesbitches

So, do you guys have these people where you are? They're getting more and more common 'round these parts, and it's quite a nusiance.

The sales commando people. They're like this mutant bastardized version of the mall salesbitch that mists you with the lastest stink. There are two kinds that are really common around here, in malls, and prowling perfume salestypes. Grr.

The mall ones are usually employed at skin care kiosks, peddling hand cream or something. Generally good looking, "beautiful people" club types. It usually goes like this. They have a gob of this handcream already on their palms, and the males will go after women shoppers, and the titsy females will latch onto guys. They run out, going "Miss! Miss!" as they're trying to catch your hand, in theirs, and smear this shit on you. They stop you, and proceed to rub this cream into your hands, with both of theirs, while flirting, and trying to make a sale. But, these pushy assholes will actually scamper after you, trying to grab your hand, unless you yell at them. It happened to me once. ONCE. I was so uncomfortable, and horrified, I've learned to defend myself. I hate to be nasty, but seriously. You gotta yell, "NO NO! Don't TOUCH ME!" and physically dodge these assholes. Man, especially with my hand fetish thing, that's akin to rape.

Then, then there's the perfume people. Ohhhhh I HATE the perfume people. They lurk a lot on college campuses, but they can be anywhere. They're so slick, because they're incognito. They're just normal looking folks, carrying messenger or duffle bags. They'll fall in step, next to you, if your're walking, or cruise up and join a conversation. My last encounter was in the Turning Point parking lot, this bitch dressed head to toe, in pink, came up to my car window. Michele was there, it almost went violent. They do this move, real fast, and slick "Hey, do you wear perfume!?" then all in one motion, they whip out some bottle, and douse you with some cheapshit knockoff scent. "This is the same formula as CK1!! See if you can tell the difference!" *PSST PSST PSST* Once. Again, this happened to me once. Now, I'm just like "NO NO NOT INTERESTED GO AWAY" and I said that to the bitch in pink, as I'm trying to get out of my car. She's like "But..But..." as she's forcing her hand into my car. I opened the door on her, shoved her back, and hopped out, ready to brawl. She and her partner took off.

I HATE THE SALES COMMANDOS. It's no goddamn wonder why people do so much shopping online. The mall is just crawling with these types. Those two are the worst kinds, because they put chemicals on you, and they're all grabby and shit, but the kiosk guys are always shoving new cel phones in your face, or raving about the latest "As Seen On TV" bullshit. Having a kid is even worse, because if they're selling something kid-oriented, they'll run out, and hand your kid stuff, like "Here, big guy, try these fabulous magic erase markers! Step right over here, and draw on this pad!" Ugh, luckily Alden's not one of those "I want it I want it" kind of kids. Then there's the charities, and the dipshits with clipboards. WHO THE HELL SIGNS UP FOR THIS KIND OF JOB?! You have to be a special kind of jerkoff to want to assault people, in the name of commission, for a living.

Christmas is coming. I'll be avoiding the mall, like every year. Next dickface that assaults me with perfume is going to be picking shards of the broken bottle out of their eyelids for a week.

[Listening to: Ghost Town Blues - Social Distortion - (4:37)]

I'm in the mood for...

Scary movies, like something really mental, and gory. I want to watch Hellraiser, and Halloween, and Dead Alive. I want to watch Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

Candy apples. The crunchy red kind, with the thick shell, so hard, you can barely bite through it. Or a good huge caramel apple. With nuts. Not one of those cheesy grocery store kinds, either.

Popcorn Balls. (thank you Ally :p) I want something gooey and crunchy, and salty-sweet.

Apple Picking. I really wanted to go last week, damn rain. They're still in season, for a little while, hopefully I can make it.

Decorating. I decorated my yard, yesterday, with a cute fall display, pumpkins, hay bale, mums, corn, all that. I still want to do something spooky too, but it's gonna rain till next week.

A good haunted house. Forest of Fear should help that craving. The Raceway Park thing only got me more in the mood for all that.

A graveyard crawl. How long has it been since we've gone to see the Dancing Jesus, or the Green Light? How long, since we've taken pictures of eroding cherubs? Tis the season.

New Hope. Maybe Sunday. Hopefully! And hopefully it's not pouring. A little rain will be ok, though. It's so pretty there, this time of year.

Thanksgiving. I'm cooking this year. I'm already planning my menu.

[Listening to: Goth Queen - Voltaire - (2:39)]

Adrift

Between books. I finished up a whole MESS of books, last week, and now I have no more new ones, to read. I hate that, when you finish your last book, and have nothing lined up to read. I usually try to plan them out 3-4 books in advance, but sometimes I get ahead of myself.

Now I'm debating, reread some old favorites, skim the available nonfiction, till I can get some fundage to buy more novels, or break the bank, and go to the used book store, and pick up some beat up pulp paperbacks...

[Listening to: Trash - New York Dolls, The - (3:09)]

Stuff

I've got nothing interesting to say. This is my first day of "by myself" time, since two Thursdays ago, and that's mighty nice. I'm tempted to waste it by napping.

I should go out and buy some more Halloween decorations. We tossed about half of ours, because when they replaced the roof, everything in the attic that wasn't in a box with a secure lid, got destroyed. Now I'm down to two foam pumpkins, a plastic skeleton, a realistic looking skull, and a few rubber spiders. This will not do. We have some real pumpkins, and a bag of gourds, today I'm getting some hay bales, and mums, to put out by the tree. I used to never put stuff in the very front lawn, because of the kids next door. It's very easy to get to from the front sidewalk, and I was always afraid they'd steal or destroy our decorations. Now, I feel like I can put anything I want out there. Hmmm...fake graveyard? So overdone...haunted pumpkin patch? Maybe. I miss having the solid glass storm door. I used to paint the coolest stuff, on the glass. One year, it was a dead tree, with ghosts swirling around it, one year a bubbling cauldron, with faces rising inthe steam, one year I just painted this huge bloody toothy gaping mouth. Whatever it is, there's gonna be special effect lighting, and loads of spiders and webs. Time to bust out the strobe, and spotlights.

Halloween comes on a Sunday this year, which means, we might actually get a trick or treater. Our biggest trick or treat year, we had a whopping 11 kids come to the door. Now, I don't wait for them to come to me, I grab my candy bag, and when we take Alden out, I foist candy on innocent passers-by. "HERE! Trick or treat! Take this candy, no, TAKE IT" (then I explain to the parents, my trick or treating dilemma, we live on a busy street, no one ever shows up, I don't like having leftovers, etc)

I didn't decorate last year, because I was planning on moving. I still plan on moving, but I say fuck it. I'll move the fucking decorations, too. Hell, I might even decorate that house, too, if I'm feeling saucy. I'm tired of waiting, and postponing things "because of the house".

This year is cool, because Alden is really getting into the whole spooky Halloween vibe. He loved the monster truck thing, last night. It was more than that, actually. We got to go "pumpkin picking" (selecting a tiny pumpkin from this grassy penned in area), then we went on a normal hayride, through this cool car graveyard, ending at this little show, thing. It was the Speed Demon (guy in a scary costume), terrorizing Raceway Park, on his quad. We got to watch "Park Security" chase him with dirt bikes, and a mustang, over this course, doing all these jumps, and spins, it was pretty thrilling. Just as they were about to "catch" the Speed Demon, he did this 30 foot jump, over a dirt pile, and into these woods. We got off our normal hay ride, and got to ride on a monster truck thing, through this HUGE pitch dark, wooded trail, called The Lost Speedway, "chasing" the Speed Demon. The guy on the quad, the dirt bikers, and various "police cars" did this coreographed chase thing, all through these haunted woods. Lots of crashing and stunts. It was all very well done, and spooky, with that whole "omg monster trucks and dirtbikes!" thrill thing going. The grand finale was the Speed Demon jumping over us on the monster truck, on this near-invisible ramp, through a flaming wall. It was really friggin cool. Of course, just as we thought it was over, the guy materialized on the back of the truck, and scared the bejeezus out of us. Even I screamed.

One of the other attractions there was a walking scary tour, through this other section of woods. It wasn't really for kids, but we brought Alden anyway, and it actually was pretty scary, lots of screams, and graphic gore. The actors were really interactive, talking to us, and scaring us good. It was also pitch black, in these woods. We had a guide, that would convieniently drop his flashlight "oops, lemme just get that"... and then something crazy would happen. Murderous psychos would blend with the little group, and walk along near us, then jump out and run around. It was so dark, you didn't notice, till this guy was waving a plastic machete in your face. There were lots of little scenes out there, that were really kickass. A campsite, where we watched two campers get mutilated, a car accident, with well done gore, and psycho EMT's that weren't there to help. A guy with a chain saw, a couple that hacked up and ate people. The woman from that scene actually talked to Alden, and scared the crap out of us. She was all like "Would you like to climb up on my (bloodstained, gore covered) table, here?" (while she's licking a meat cleaver) The guy came up right behind him, and stuck his face right near Alden's ear, and was like "Oy! He's too small and stringy!" all loud. Haha, Alden just about jumped out of his clothes. (I did too). He's so tough, I'd have been crying, at that age.

Besides that, there were rides, and games, as well as storytellers, concessions, and all that canivally fun stuff. Definitely a great time. Better than I expected, I was thinking it was just gonna be some ride through the woods, on a hay wagon. This is the first year, they did this attraction, and it's great. It will probably only get better, in the coming years.

[Listening to: Spoonman - Soundgarden - (4:06)]

I love October

I know, I know. I've mentioned it before, but it's so true, I must blather on about it.

Tonight we're going to this kickass haunted hayride thing, at Raceway Park It's being pulled by a monster truck, goes through a haunted car graveyard. Alden doesn't know yet, it's a big suprise, but he's gonna lay an egg when he finds out. He loves shit like this (omg, me too!) But come on, monster truck haunted hayride, how doesn't that fucking rock.

Then, next weekend, maybe Saturday, we're going to The Forest of Fear. We went the first year, and it was cool, but not worth the 2 hour ride up there. In the 8 years they've been doing it, it's grown and grown, and now, NOW I think it'll be awesome. Debating whether to take Alden, or not, the Slaughterhouse, and the Circus of the Damned are really fucking scary. I was ruined on haunted houses well into my late teens, because my mom forced me into going in one, when I was 4, and I was horribly traumatized. I know, me. Unfathomable, right? Afraid of funhouses! Not anymore, though, I love them. I live for October. We try to get to every single one we see, even the little beat ones, put on by garden centers, and whatnot. Alden's hopefully getting old enough, now, that he can join us, in the more kid-oriented ones.

Weeheeheee!

[Listening to: Sin City (KMFDM remix) - Genitorturers - (4:32)]

Dynamic, yeaaah

Which File Extension are You?

Wow

Dan's got this way of showing up, just when I'm thinking hard about all them. I've been kicking myself for forgetting to invite them camping, right. Core Device has had their full length CD out for awhile, since early August, I think, and I haven't gotten it yet, from Marty (the plumber whom I wish to strangle sometimes) even though he's been around plenty. So, here I am, dying to hear from them, ready to take the plunge and give them a call, see what's going on, and if I can get a CD offa them...when boom, Dan knocks on the door.

Of course, the house looks like a tornado hit it, because we've been living in "weekend house" for a week (you know, when you're never home, just using the house as a depository for your weekend aquisitions, and a place to sleep till you go out again) and, I'm in pajama shorts, and a hoodie, looking fabulous... Dan understands, though. But, ALWAYS when I'm a mess. ALWAYS. I think I blogged about this before, it's un-fucking-canny.

Either way, he always pops up, just when I'm thinking about them. Dan and his ways. The CD fucking COOKS. I had expected it to be good (gods know, it TOOK LONG ENOUGH) but, this is even better than I had expected. This is like, perfect. I'm on my second turn through it, and goddamn. It's so heavy. I can't adequately put it into words, but if you're into metal, prog/thrash, I highly recommend checking them out, and picking one up. I'm not even just saying that because they're my friends, but, if I heard them cold, like at a concert, or something, I would be blown away.

[Listening to: Hell and Torment - Core Device - (4:41)]

Frankie it is

Chimele summed it up, there are a lot of great Frankies in the world. I can add Frank Bello to that list, too. Whether it turns out to be male or female, Frankie will work (Franklin, or Francesca) All good.

Frankie pooped, his first little poop, today. He's chillin under my desklamp, in a critter keeper, till I can go out and buy a proper tank and light setup, later, so I was worried about warmth, and all. It's not ideal, but it's suitable, and temporary. Apparently, he's metabolizing well, because he shat like a mule. So precious.

Wee One!

I couldn't help myself...it was so cute, and cold looking, sitting there on it's little bark chips. Just a wee little baby, only about 2.5" from tip to tip.

Now, I'm the mommy to a baby bearded dragon. I just have to come up with a name. I'm leaning towards Frankie.

Looooook, dontcha wanna just pinch his wittle cheeks?!

When Resturaunts Jump the Shark

Perkins did it. They sucked last month, when Xan was here. The meals were bad, and I was shocked, just shocked, because that was one of my standard "hamster food" places (what to eat, when I didn't want to think much about eating). Decent, cheap food, etc.

Well, the menu changed, for the third time in the past year. The prices have leapt by maybe 20-30%. The food...sucks. They got rid of the breakfast specials, so, the "breakfast special" crowd stopped coming in, causing the place to be empty in the mornings (because who can afford 8 bucks, for an omelet...) which, in turn, caused the better wait staff to quit. So, half the good servers quit. The food is ridiculously priced, and it's ZOOMING downhill. I ordered some oatmeal, today, because I was in the mood for it. The waitress brought me a bowl of dried instant oat powder, a pitcher of tap-hot water, and a cup of milk. 3 bucks. Powder. Hot water. Milk. For 3 bucks, at Turning Point, I get a vat of rich, creamy, chewy, piping hot steel cut Irish oatmeal, with cinnamon sugar, butter, raisins, and dried apples. We decided that we probably won't be eating much there, anymore.

Then, tonight, we were in the mood for Polish food. We went to Polanka, this awesome little store-front/takeout Polish food joint. The kitchen is run by little grandmothers, and the waitresses are daughters and granddaughters. Normally. This time, though, the little babcias were in the kitchen, toiling away, as usual, but the servers were all different...and awful. The service SUCKED. The food (which is normally, like, astronomically good) came out cold, and wrong. She kept forgetting things. She picked up the plate of the woman next to us, before she was finished eating, and offered a shrug, when the woman complained. (to me, that's like, a cardinal sin...NEVER take my plate before I'm done. I would have rapped her with my spoon) My dinner had about an inch of watery something on the bottom of the plate, pretty much waterlogging my food. Oh, and (death knell, for any eating establishment, in my book) the menu changed. The prices went up, the selection got smaller (like, instead of offering 14 things, they now offered 10...not like there was a huge selection, to begin with) and they stopped doing take-home baked goods. We were sad. As we were walking out, we noticed a for-sale sign, on the door. "Business For Sale" That just sucks, but, it explains a lot.

There are way too many resturaunts closing, or sucking, these days, and not enough good ones opening up in their place. RIP Sciortinos, Perkins, Polanka, Babbok, Gianna's, Sapore, Mrs. Eng's, Keller's, Chowder Pot, Sand Bar, Shamrock, Marina Diner, The Grill and the Grape, Hoffbrau House, etc etc. You will live on in my gastronomic heart.

[Listening to: Bad Reputation - Reverend Horton Heat - (2:24)]

Vacation

I like it when the mister takes vacation. It gives me vacation. Vacation time for him (unless we're going on a trip, or something) is just being home, puttering around. Vacation time for me, is making him do all the household tasks, that I'm normally saddled with. It's refreshing to take a break, from struggling Alden through his morning ritual. It's nice to let him do some laundry, or some of the seemingly endless phonecalls, while I sorta drift around the house, with nothing to do. I get a lot of stuff done in my own way. Like, I cleaned out my cookbook shelf, and arranged my panties drawer. When do I get time to do that, typically? His vacation is my vacation. Trickle down effect. I like it.

This time is especially nice, because normally, he takes vacation time, in order to double up on lawns, and work extra hard. I know, that makes little sense, but it's his way. Not this time, though. I think he realizes how crucial it is to spend time with the family, and be a good dad. It's good. It's very pleasant. He and Alden are spending loads of time together, and he's getting to see the minute little day-to-day details that he misses out on. It's also good, because doing some of my daily tasks, he's developing a fond appreciation for the bullshit that I deal with, on a typical day.

"Oh man, I had no idea how difficult it was to get Alden to..."

"Hey, remember to call the gas company, and the mortgage place, and J. Tomas, and etc etc...oh wait, I could do that, you go get your nails done" *time passes*

"Whoa, you're still on the phone? Damn, it's been like, 2 hours."

"This sucks, how do you find the patience to deal with these people..."

It's a lesson in tedium. To complete the picture, I should badger him about it.

Actually, this isn't a fair representation of my typical stuff, because A) The Season is over, so no landscaping anything to manage, and B) we really are doing things together, I'm not having him do it all solo. I should go on vacation sometime, solo, for a week and see if the house is still standing when I get home. Sink or swim, man. I think he'd manage, but a lot of shit would get forgotten. Minor stuff, like lunch money, or the proper pick up and drop off procedure for school (like, today, he forgot that we left at 8:15, and sorta made Alden late), or maybe some shit with the house. It would be an interesting experiment.

[Listening to: Master of the Wind - Manowar - (5:26)]

Ok, which wunna you...

perverts found this site, doing an MSN search for "5 month pregnant creampie"? Hmm? Hmm? Anyone gonna fess up?

[Listening to: JACK THE RIPPER - Motörhead - (4:39)]

Hellos!

I'm back, from the "wilds of 10 minutes away" as Opti so succintly put it. Yes, the campsite is about a 10 minute drive, away. As the crow flies, it's about 3-4 miles from the house. But it's a whole world away, without being a day's worth of driving. Alden managed to go to school, from the campsite, even.

Felt good, everything was perfect. We've got shit so together, we can just decided on the fly that we want to go, and have very little packing. Basically, all we need to pack, nowadays, is clothing, a little food, from the house, and that's it. We grocery shop, on the way out, and boom, that's it. No preplanning necessary. Takes literally 20 minutes to get ready to go. (plus, we're 10 minutes away, should we forget anything...)

So, yeah, everything went amazingly well. No rain (which is a first, in the history of camping, for us), no other Weather. I capitalize that, because we have had some serious Weather, camping. Like the tornado that ripped through the woods, 3 campsites away, felling a swath of trees destroying the playground and this guy's pickup truck. The playground, 20 feet away from the bathroom, that Mindy and I were showering in (musing, as we were showering "gee, sounds like the wind picked up...). So, yeah, no tornadoes. No injuries, broken bones, 3rd degree burns, etc. (all, also, from the tornado camping trip, which was the first time Dan and Mindy went with us. I'm suprised, after that fiasco, that they ever wanted to go camping again...) Everything was serene, and very relaxing.

We carved a pumpkin, we fed squirrels, we bitched out the ignorant NY neighboring campers that I affectionately dubbed "The Fuckers" As in, "shut the fuck up, fuckers, it's after 11" or, "ignorant NY fuckers, leaving your garbage everywhere" . We alternately hiked all over the place, and took long naps in The Chair (if there was any doubt, that we brought a recliner, camping with us, there is photo evidence.) watching the sun travel across the sky.

I spent the latter half of most of the days, cooking some incredible something, over the fire pit. One night it was chicken stew, and dumplings, one night braised rosemary mustard pork loin, and one night, it was Steak. That's half the fun of camping for me, cooking like that. There's something very satisfying about grabbing a book and a jug of tea, pulling The Chair close, and tending the fire, all day, while dinner bubbles away. It's like, this really great lazy anticipation. No timers, no measuring. "Dinner will be done, when it gets too dark to read this book."

Reading, too. Got sooo much reading, too. I finished four books, out there. Two Patricia Cornwell novels, Blow Fly, and Body Farm (enough to know that I dislike her writing, and I won't be buying any more of her books) and the final two books in the His Dark Materials trilogy. My new favorite trilogy. I'm about a chapter away from finishing the final book, The Amber Spyglass. Awesome books, by Phillip Pullman, I highly recommend.

I missed Dan and Mindy, though. We usually invite them to camp with us, especially in the fall. But this time everything was very spur of the moment, and we pretty much forgot. It's not the same without them, so, hopefully we can get together come springtime. We haven't seen much of them lately, with us being busy, with the house, them being busy with whatever. I should go call them...if I can get over my phone phobia.

Oh, one final thing, before I go make dinner...thanks, you guys, that called me out there. It was great to hear from you, and all rather surreal, sitting there in my recliner, in front of the campfire, talking on the phone.

More pictures, from the journey, if anyone cares.

Byebyes!

Camping! Yay! Leaving in about 10 minutes, won't be back till at least Tuesday, but could be later, if it's nice out there, and we decide to stay. Got the week cleared till next Saturday, so, we might just stay the whole week, who knows.

It'll be nice to get outside, and just chill. No computer, no TV, just the woods, lots of dirt, the campfire, cooking, reading, hiking, bike riding, and snooozing in the hammock (and recliner, we're bringing a recliner, haha).

I'm thrilled, and now, I'm leaving. See y'all when we get back.

Shit doesn't happen?

A discussion last night caused me to think about this. Shit happens, right? It happens a lot. As far as I know, it's mostly unavoidable. It just happens. But, is it? Can you step lightly through life, avoiding pitfalls, bullshit and pain? Is it possible to sequester yourself in such a way, and control your destiny so well, that shit DOESN'T happen? Is the crap that life throws at you avoidable?

My theory is this: The more you avoid the crap, the more you're avoiding life in general. I mean, sure, you're protecting yourself from whatever bad things could happen, right? But, are you discluding yourself from things that could be good, too? I learned, I guess, to experience things as the come, live them, really go for it, whatever it is, and accept the potential bullshit that might come with it. Why protect myself? I lived through some really bad, life altering things, I'm pretty sure it won't get that bad, again, but if it does, it sure won't kill me. Bullshit builds character, as far as I'm concerned, as long as you learn to roll with it, and not let the details control you. Flexibility is key. If you can't flex and dance, then when life does throw shit at you, it will hit you like you were a brick wall. That kind of impact might be bad. I've let things hit me like that, and it's never healthy. I'm done with that. I've stopped avoiding life and it's pitfalls, a long time ago. I've learned to waltz with the bad stuff, and lead it around, and make it work for me.

Life is not a fixed path. Life is sorta forging your own path, with all it's twists, turns, piles of bear shit to trample through, etc. It's hard work, sometimes it stinks, and you get a lot of crap for your efforts, but in the long run, it's more satisfying, because you know you really did something. It can be a strange, and beautiful journey, too, if you pick your head up and look around, really enjoy it, instead of getting hung up, waiting, for possible pitfalls.

[Listening to: Dead Emotion - Paradise Lost - (4:33)]

Why...

"Why are crayons called crayon?"

Because it's French for 'chalk'.

"Why are there no white markers?"

There are, they're paint markers.

"Why are markers called markers?"

Because they mark things up.

"Why are cups called cups?"

I don't know, Alden.

"You don't know anything, do you."

[silence]

"Why are..."

Ah! I don't know anything, remember? Quit asking questions!




This entry brought to you by Alden, and his mouth.

[Listening to: Death Comes Ripping - Cradle Of Filth - (1:57)]

Guys

Play nice, ok?

I think you're all intelligent, and interesting, and it bugs me to see you go at each other's throats. I disagree with a lot of people's ideas, but, I overcome that, to be friends with people I'd normally write off. If I attacked every person that opposed me, I would be entirely alone, in life. We can't agree all the time. Politics is rather overrated, I think. Lets all just snuggle down and be happy. Love and kisses for all. Dammit.

Okay

I've taken to getting up with him, every morning, now, and spending the time doing constructive things, like talking about the day's events, etc. He likes it, that I get up earlier, we get stuff accomplished. The porn thing is not an issue, because he doesn't have time to do it. I'm hoping, like a bad habit, this will just fade out, after while. We'll be going camping for a week, starting Friday, so that's a week of not having to worry about it. Maybe when he comes back, he'll have forgotten about it.

Like I said, it's not worth discussing.

In GE's defense, he's known me a long time, and knows this situation rather well, I think. If we were in a normal place, this would be a non-issue. Because of the situation that we're in, it's just another red flag, and definitely an insult, etc. GE is not off the mark with his 'one dimensional' diagnosis, because that has been one of my main problems with things, for a long time. It's already a fact, he does view me as one dimensional. That's not news. This is just it manifesting itself again.

I'm very 'whatever' about the whole thing, really, because now I have an idea as to what's going on in his head (due in part to blogging about it, your comments, and my studying his behavior closely).

So, thanks guys, for your insight and advice, I appreciate it (sorry I didn't have some juicy arguement to blog about, haha) and I'm declaring this matter closed.

Now on to packing, for camping.

Edit: Strange, my comment down there just showed up. I dashed it off last night before going to bed, and when I got up earlier, it wasn't there, so I made this entry, instead of having that comment. Now the comment's there, and this is here, and blogger really needs to get its shit together, I think.

[Listening to: Navras - Juno Reactor - (9:08)]

More thoughts on AM porn

In light of all the comments, I'll say this: I thought hard about what GE said, "things that must change". Porn itself doesn't bother me. Porn has always been one of those occasional recreational activities, that we do together, so him taking flight, and sneaking around with it tells me something. We've always done every single thing, together. The compulsive every morning-ness makes me wonder, and that aspect does bother me. So, in a typical situation, I would make it my priority to confront him and get to the bottom of whatever's causing it. Because typically, it is one of things that needs to be changed. But, as you longer term readers should know, I'm done trying to make him change. I can't mold him into my ideal person. We've had The Talk ( I blogged it, early last month), which boiled down to, "change back into the man I married, start putting a modicum of effort into me, and this marriage, or you will lose me." The fact is, we've been steadily growing apart (this solo-thing is just more evidence of it) and I'm done trying to keep it together. His efforts, in this past month have been just that, a modicum. The big things haven't changed, and other stuff is starting to pop up (like this whole porn thing). It's just one more thing to add to the list, of "If I were still trying to save this, I'd want changed" But, since I'm not, I'll abide.

Thomas, I know you're a new reader, hi, welcome to my world, and I'd like to set you straight on some things. I abhor the bullshit that goes on between husbands and wives, like that. The whole tit for tat, you mention. "Ooh, he bought me tickets to that show...blowjob time" or "Oh, she went down on me, maybe I should get her that sweater she was eyeing" or, "He didn't take the garbage out like I asked, I'm cutting him off..." To me, those are all examples of legal prostitution, and not only don't I do it, I wouldn't tolerate it. It's ridiculous, the games people play.

The fact is, I'm a very physical person. He's never been denied, unless I'm sick, or something. Even then, he masturbates right there in front of me, or I lend a hand, or something. Sex has always a very open, free thing, between us. It's never been secretive, or a tool of manipulation. At least, not by me. I get the feeling, in fact, that I want it more than him. So, even moreso, I take it as an insult, that he would go behind my back. If I were some frigid honey, that frowned on stuff, or only gave it up on a conditional biweekly basis, I could understand, but, I'm not. It makes me feel lesser, somehow, and unattractive, that he chooses these images (alone) over me, or over even saying "hey, I'm in the mood for some kink, you wanna check out this nasty site?" Because I'd be up for it, there's not much I wouldn't do or try, and he knows that (it's part of why he married me).

[Listening to: Red Water - Type O Negative - (6:50)]

The Dress

Here's a pic of part of my dress (by request). I'm annoyed, because we had my mom take pics of us, before the wedding, and she didn't take one decent one. She put us out in the bright sunlight, so there's all these weird shadows, and we're all squinty and annoyed. Plus, it was running late, and we were hurried. She also took all these bizarre close-ups, of just our faces. Like...who the hell cares about our faces, I have about a thousand of those. The clothes, man, it's all about the CLOTHES.

Red and I got into a discussion about what a good bra can do for your general overall shape, so, I cut our squinty, irritated faces out of this one, and boom, a decent shot of part of the dress...and the bonuses of a good bra.

My torso.

I know, it's a bad pic, but thank my mother. The rest of the day, I was behind the camera, not in front of it. I'm planning, though, on donning the whole outfit, again, and taking proper pictures, just because it looked so good. Oh yeah, and lesson learned, too, I'm never wearing red lipstick again. It's just too fucking...red.

[Listening to: Red Right Hand - Cave, Nick and the Bad Seeds - (6:11)]

AM Porn Fest

So weird...every morning, I get up about a half hour after the mister. I get dressed, take jr to school, etc. Whenever I make it back home, and run Winamp, for music...there's always some porn clips queued up. Like, the mister gets up deliberately a half hour before me every single morning so he can watch "hot double creampie" and "french teen slut getting gangbanged" action. I sorta wonder why. Not like he doesn't get hot and cold running pussy whenever he fucking wants it. Sometimes, he gets out of bed, to watch porn, right after getting some. And he's so covert about it, if I get up early, boom the window gets closed, and weather.com pops up. Little does he know, his lists always hang around, after he closes the window, so every single morning, I get to see what he's been beating off to in the wee hours.

It's so bizarre. It's almost like a compulsion. When I say every morning, I mean it, every single morning. This morning, I had to close it out, to get this music playing, and I got up SUPER early, today. Once or twice it was sorta cute like, "ooh, someone's been misbehaving..." but every morning? He's a grown man. With real live, warm, bouncy, willing girl, right in bed next to him. I haven't said anything yet, but it's starting to bug me. One morning it will piss me off enough to bring it up.

That should be entertaining.

[Listening to: A.D.I.-Horror Of It All - Anthrax - (7:48)]

The Show

Saturday night, we went to see Anthrax and Dio, at the Beacon theater. Good show. No. Great show. I went to see Anthrax, I could take or leave Dio (I mean, excellent performer, great singer, good music...but next to ANTHRAX?! Yeah.) So, since Anthrax opened, it was a shorter set, for them.

They played: (lets see if I can remember, two days later)

NFL (they never open with this, it was a pleasant suprise)
Caught in a Mosh (omfg yes, I would die 1000 times if they didn't play it)
Safe Home
Indians (Frank Bello left the group, and truly, this song wasn't the same without his lanky, wardancing charisma. We missed him the most, when they played this one. Scotty was the only Indian, on stage, this time)
Only
What Doesn't Die
Death Rider
Antisocial (the extended audience participation version)
some more songs that elude me right now...

They closed with (omfg) Chuck D, from Public Enemy coming out on stage (it was a NY show, of course they had to have a special guest, they always do...but Chuck D!) and doing Bring The Noise. The rap/metal version. I was LEAPING around. My fat ass was getting AIR. I have never heard that song done so well, with such intensity. Seeing Scott and Chuck on stage together was incredible.

The set was short, intense, fast, and mind boggling. Like great sex. Seriously, I felt SPENT, afterwards. My hair was all knotty, my neck and jaw ached (from screaming and headbanging...perv), my makeup was all fucked, I was sweaty and sore. When it was over I sank back into my seat, glowing, exhilerated, and tired. I've never had a concert do that to me (out of literally hundreds of shows). It was quite the experience, there was no down-time, no boring span. It was an hour of pure, raw, metal intensity. I needed it, so bad. I needed to cut loose, and just rock the fuck out.

Dio was great, flawless, even. Pure talent, strongest voice in rock. Just a total metal gentleman, all showmanship and skill. It was nice to relax and wind down to him, after getting rocked raw, by Anthrax.

[Listening to: Born To Die - Leftover Crack - (4:41)]

Some link updates

I added Michele's blog, (finally) not that she'll be updating any time soon, as she's in Jamaica, right now.

I found yet another fabulous blog, with the revered "Next Blog" button, called Chunky Chit Chat. This chick is funny, this chick is interesting, she has a lot to say, and I like to read it. We seem to have a good deal in common, too. Go check her out.

I also stuck the Amatuer Gourmet on there. This guy's a young, funny, sorta blog-famous, NY foodie type.

[Listening to: He's My Thing - Babes In Toyland - (2:56)]