Lying to the world, lying on a tanning bed.

It's like, an unspoken lie. Fooling the world into thinking you're the outdoorsy type.

I'm talking about tanning. Paying obscene amounts of money to lay on hot glass and bake your skin. Why? To make it look like you spend time in a warm climate? To make it look like you spend time being outside? What's the draw, I don't get it. People should earn their tans. I'm not adverse to taking on a little color, in the summer. Going to renfairs every weekend in August, my chest gets nice and crispy (call it bodice burn) and it looks good. My face and arms get it from camping. It's cool. If my legs get color, even better, but that's sooooo rare, because one would actually have to lie down outdoors, and expose the legs to the sun. But pay for it!? To schedule time for it?! To me, it's even more ridiculous than smoking. Let me shell out vast quantities money, so I have the privilege of destroying my body.

This rant brought to you by Harriet, whose neck looks like a wet paper bag, now. Whose face is a dangerous shade of brick red. Whose skin (at 31) is a network of fine lines and flakes. Who goes tanning every single day "because my legs just aren't dark enough" And I agree. Compared to her face, her legs are pretty pale. Keep shooting for that goal of the perfect tan, baby, everyone knows it's all about you ;)

I'll stick with my SPF 15.