Leveling Judgement

I was gonna post something about being judgmental, I had it all composed in my head. It leaked out. Shoot, it was good too.

Oh, oh, it's coming back to me.

Last fall, when I started becoming closer friends with Harriet, she wanted to "confide" in me (that's in quotes, because I learned later that she "confides" in everyone that will listen...That's a future entry, though) about something that was troubling her. She asked if I was the morally judgmental type, if I'd think differently of her if she told me something. I truthfully said "No". Now, I'm sort of at a loss, because after all is said and done, it's really not no.

The original confession is that she cheated on her husband with this guy. She "loves this guy so much, he's so perfect, the chemistry is amazing, he completes me" [face_vomit] By cheated, I mean carry on a 9 month relationship with the guy, spending every spare second with him, going as far as leaving her kids with her sister for a week, to spend the whole time with him.

That pretty much makes me nuts. It's sick and dishonest. But, whatever, love is love, how can I hate her? Sometimes what you do when you're 21 (getting married) isn't where you want to be when you're 31. Whatever. I counseled her through her woes, listening nightly to drama on the phone. There's a lot more to it than just this, lots of sordid little details. She managed to break it off with the guy, or he broke it off with her, or something, and she "reformed". That's magnificent. Error of her ways and all that. I was honestly happy for her, because she went on and on about putting more energy in her family and kids, blahblahblah.

So, normally I see her every day, when we pick the kids up, right? I haven't seen her pretty much since the beginning of April. We talked on the phone a few times, and she's always busy, I'm always busy, but more importantly she's never around to pick up her daughter anymore. Other family members are doing it. I found out why. She told me all covertly today, that she's back "with" this guy (who is also married, with a daughter, and -get this- doesn't speak a word of English, haha, no, he's Puerto Rican. She doesn't speak Spanish either, so how he 'completes' her I'll never know. How they're 'with' each other also baffles me, being married to separate people, and all. Could have something to do with penis size...But I digress)

Now, after all this compassion, and holding her hand, so to speak, through a difficult winter of her trying to get her family life together, and get back on track. This guy calls her up once, and invites her over, and she's off sucking his dick again. Now, she pretty much repulses me (oh, there were many things leading up to that, this is the straw, though). How can I go on smiling, being friendly, when I think she's the scum of the earth?

I guess I am judgmental.

This little rant just helped me firm up what I'm going to say to her, when she starts the bullshit "confiding" again. I can't support that kind of behavior. I mean, once is a mistake, twice is stupid, and three times? That's just fucking self destructive. I won't be a party to it. Let her talk to the gas station attendant, or any of her ass kissy buddies.