I generally don't blog about my gaming experiences, but this one requires something. I know, it's "just a game" but, real people behind the players, and that's what this boils down to.
I feel like I should lay out, and examine my own feelings, about all this, now, a day later.
A little background. When Ally got me into the idea of World of Warcraft (and it was all her, I remember the conversation like it were yesterday) I was thoroughly excited, about a) starting a new game, b) being in something from the ground roots and c) helping her manage her guild. Our idea was to blend our groups, from past games, and bring our good friends together to have a big happy group.
Ally brought a large chunk of her group from AC, that had gamed together for years, and a group from City of Heros, that knew each other for awhile, and I brought myself, and a few friends. In the beginning, it was only me, Opti and Afe. Opti didn't want to play on my server, and Afe did, till he saw all the bullshit strict rules that The Burning Hand did. Afe didn't like being treated like a 5 year old. He left before things got started. Opti didn't want to join at first, but he eventually came around, and it was for the better. Xan joined a little later on, a few weeks into it.
I felt a little apprehensive about having a leadership position, but I was willing to go along with whatever her and Zare said, and try to enforce rules, and offer whatever insight I could bring. In the beginning, things were great. We were casual, but with a formal entry system (being an elitist, that was fine by me), and everyone knew each other and worked together to be happy.
I took my job as management very seriously, and I even put in my mini-bio that I was there to serve them, and to help out any way I could. I meant that, and now as the leader of my own guild, I still mean it.
Then, things started to crumble, and after reflecting on it for a few days, I now realize where I started to lose it. I'm going to cite actual instances, and name names. This is my blog, and I would like an accurate record of my feelings about all this, so I'm not doomed to make repeat mistakes on my own. Call this "Lili's History Book of Leadership and What Not to Do" It's going to sound like a lot of "omg, but that was in the past" stuff, but this is the point of this excersise. A string of events.
I invited a friend that I met, in game, by the name of Lessaic. He's a good kid, and he was greeted well, etc. Maybe an hour later, Ally decided that she wanted to enact a "hard cap" on recruitment, not letting any new people in, till after a prescribed date. She basically made the rule and enacted it, before really discussing it with us, but ok. I agreed, she's the leader. That was all good. Me, being the newest person, really, I could use the time to get to know all the old former AC guildmates. I was worried, though, because I knew a string of friends were planning on playing eventually, and had hoped to get them in with us. I'd feel bad if they were made to wait.
That very night, after making a big to-do about the hard cap, two new members join. That bothered me. I mentioned it on /o and got shrugged off "they're old friends of mine" I thought, "but..but...I don't know them from a fucking hole in the ground." This making rules up as we go along, and not following them yourself stuff? It doesn't sit well with me, not one bit. It's a hard cap, but it isn't, but you can't invite friends from the game, but I can invite anyone I want...I was really REALLY bothered by that, and I mentioned it to them, and I basically got brushed off.
So, I learned to live with this new rule. In that time, a whole load of people joined. The only one it affected, was a guy by the name of Jian. People are being invited left and right, and Jian has to wait, because of this ridiculous "hard cap" Frankly, I thought it was a travesty. I mentioned it, once, but rather than speak up any more, and act whiny, I held it in.
These new people that joined? The old friends? Apparently, they didn't like 'new people' because they treated me like a wad of shit. They ignored me, ignored anyone new. Unless it was to boss me around, or demand things. Over guild chat, we congratulate people, make idle chatter, ask questions, answer them, offer things to other guildmates, beg for things, etc. It's just the nature of things. Instead, they used guild chat as their own private hotline, and were just incensed if anyone dared say anything that they didn't like. I brought it up, and Zare and Ally were puzzled by this, but, agreed that they weren't being team players, they promised to straighten it out.
At this point, my guys were feeling it. Opti, who has bent over backwards to help people, since he joined, was feeling horrendously underappreciated. I knew, from soon after he joined, that Ally didn't like him. He would (like we all do) mentioned that he leveled over /g and everyone would ignore him, besides myself, and Xan, maybe. He would log on, and no one would say hi. The same no ones that he would drop anything to come help. Getting my drift, here? I felt mostly the same way, but many people were warmer, to me. I still got the cold shoulder from some, but not as bad as Opti had it, to be sure. His feelings were hurt, and it's no damn wonder. It got to the point that Ally wouldn't even acknowledge him, unless she was making some snide quip. It got to be too much. He was hurt, and unhappy, and threatening to leave. He only stayed because I begged him to give me a chance to straighten things out.
Xan was having problems, because he couldn't even say the word 'wench' in guild chat, without having some snippy bitch scold him. "Language" It got to the point, that every time I saw that comment (and oh boy, it was a LOT) that my hackles went up, and I gritted my teeth. The trouble was, Ally and Zare would side with the snippy bitch, all the time, and it made Xan unhappy. I'm not happy, if he's not happy. He came to play this game with me (Like Opti) and I owed him the best, most comfortable, fun gaming experience I could offer. Being in leadership position, I thought I would have the voice necessary to make things better.
The favoritism was really showing. "They're old friends of ours, they're really good people, don't say anything to offend them" But...they're cliquishness and treating my friends like shit offends ME, and no one did anything about THAT.
Catering to one, fuck the rest. All done, "in the spirit of family" But, aren't we in the family too? Doesn't Opti deserve a hearty hello, or a congrats, when he looks for one? Doesn't Xan get to speak freely over /g? Don't I deserve to be acknowledged as part of the leadership, rather than having my concerns brushed off time and time again? We're a family, right?
I genuinely tried. I talked to Ally about her feelings towards me. I asked her if she were angry at Opti, or me, and basically she said no, and wondered why I would ask such a thing. I thought we broke a lot of ground, that morning, and that things would get better.
Things got a shade better. The two assholes stopped using /g as their private chat for a little while. Ally and Opti seemed to be getting along a bit better, and well...Xan pretty much stopped interacting on /g at all, after getting chastized one too many times.
Meanwhile, more people joined, Tessa, Cuttlery, Matches, Lec, Afelirick, Michele, Jian, people that I loved to game with, considered good friends, were excited to have with me, in a game. People, that I felt I owed a good gaming experience to. It just wasn't happening.
Toward the end, there, it really was very "us against them" there's "my guys" and "you guys" and that's how the rules were being laid out. It got so bad, that people were afraid to speak freely over /g, so I made my own private channel, for my friends. I knew I was leaving. It was only a matter of when, at this point. I was aiming to do it as diplomatically as possible, and I was biding my time for the right moment. I still tried to hold it together, but it seemed, daily, things were happening, that made me uncomfortable, and unhappy playing.
Then, the shit hit the fan.
A new guy joined, and he said goddammit. The language police jumped all over him, of course. Opti, Xan, the new guy, and a few other people lodged their complaint about the censorship. I couldn't stop them anymore, this was the last straw. I frantically tried to get Zare's attention over /o meanwhile answering 20 complaints of "we're leaving, I swear to god, we can't handle it anymore". It bubbled over, and boiled out of my control. Xan left first. I knew at that moment, that I would go too. I tried to be diplomatic, and hold things together for just a bit more. I wanted to wait, and tell Ally, and do everything official. Then Opti left. I told them "do you see what you're doing?" Still no real answer from Zare, over /o and my game world was collapsing. I still wanted to get the final word and talk to Ally. Afe left. They were dropping off like flies. Some asshole made a nasty comment to the effect of "another one bites the dust" or something, and that was it for me. That asshole (who I don't even KNOW...I mean, did he ever stoop to talk to me, or acknowledge us before this? Nope.) summed up the whole vibe that I was getting from a majority of them. My hands were shaking so bad, it took me three tries to type /guildquit.
I quit. I took a few people with me. I had planned on talking to Ally, the next day, in hopes of reconciling, and maybe trying to patch things over. The first thing I see, however, when I get to the guild's message board, the next day was Ally's first comment on the whole event "if leaving was your first reaction, before talking to me, then maybe it's best that you left" Or something along those lines.
That changed my whole plan. I *had* been trying to talk to them for weeks. This was a long time coming. But, now, the problems were no more. "you guys" can have your happy little family. "The issues" were dealt with. We left, and the message was very clear, from that statement. There was a lot of explaining, and justifying after that, I wrote a volume about my feelings and motivations, on the message board, to which Ally replied right away with a "buhbye" and that stung. I was composing what I was gonna say, all night, and how to word it, and she basically responded with a "sorry to see you go, but if you're happier..." which wasn't the point of my whole writing to begin with. I was pouring my heart out, it took me an hour to write. After I posted it, she replied 6 minutes later, after clearly not reading it, "k, bye, lets be friends".
Later that evening, Ally saw, through screenshots, how it all went down, and decided to kick a few people out, that were the catalysts to this particular chain of events. Too little, too late. Everyone seemed shocked that we left, and a lot of people thought it was over a petty language thing, but it truly wasn't.
I left behind some good friends, in TBH. I broke, knowing full well that I would be leaving behind some good friends. Ally, Zare, Eben, Matches, Tuttle, Jian, (at the time, but he joined mem anyway), Lessaic, Aranuir, Zartan, Fallan, and a whole mess of others, that I had come to respect, and look forward to gaming with. That hurt the most, parting ways with people that helped me so much, and that I genuinely like. When I say "I do hope we can still keep in touch" it's not some petty parting sentiment, it's the truth, because through all the bad feelings, these were the people that made my time with The Burning Hand good.
I'm upset with Ally, a little, because my feelings were hurt by her in game actions, but I feel like we're good enough friends that we can transcend that, and still be close outside of the game. We still have our blogs, and idle RL chatter, which is what drew us close to begin with. We just have totally different gaming styles. She has her thing, I have mine, it's all good. I feel a little weird, though, about chatting her up in game, at this moment. Maybe when things settle out.
So, this is where I'm at.
We're on our own now, and I like it. We're casual, very small, and mean to stay that way. My friends are happy, and the game is fun, again. My first time as a leader of anything, and I'm a little anxious about it. I made Xan and Opti my officers, since they were so instrumental in all this, they do know the game well, and are good people and players. Where I plan to go with this guild, and how I plan to manage things...well that's best left for another post, my fingers are going numb.
12.26.2004
Holiday Weekend
My Christmas and Christmas Eve festivities were more pleasant than I had expected.
Christmas Eve, every year, my mom has the whole family (and various lonely friends) over to her house for dinner. This year, we broke a record, I think. Mom, Earl- the stepdad (I'll do a family recap, like Ally did, just to clarify), Debbie and Tom (my stepsister and her husband), Lou, Chris, Sammi, and Zach (My stepbrother, his wife and two kids), Linda (family friend), Pina and Frank (the neighbors), Alden, Irv, and I. That's 14 people, all sitting around the dinner table. The kids, Sammi, Alden and Zach, all sat at this little side table, and the rest of us sat around the big table.
My mom laid out all the food buffet-style, on the island, in the kitchen. It was all very organized and impressive. Mom's computer has been down for a week, and she's been bored, so she really put a good deal of effort into dinner. Turkey, ham, potato casserole, steamed cauliflower, carrots, broccoli, stuffed cabbage, kielbasa and sauerkraut, stuffing, fresh cranberries, mashed potatoes, glazed sweet potatoes, and this southern thing of Shelley beans, ham, and boiled potatoes. Poland and West Virginia meet. Debbie, Tom, The Mister, and I all normally congregate in the kitchen, and experiment on drink recipes, or swap recipes, or just drink till we're 'cheery', so that's always fun. The kids were running around having a blast, Sammi and Alden get along so well.
This is the first Christmas Lou (the estranged stepbrother) has been with us, in over 10 years, so I thought it would be awkward, but it wasn't. His girl is very cool, and social, and he went a long way to patch things up with his father, apparently. Things were nice, very nice. It was all festive, and fun, there was no drama or strangeness.
Went home, opened a few presents, and Alden went to bed. On Christmas Eve, Alden gets presents from us, a few things, mostly utility stuff, movies, underwear, a blanket, a couple toys, and the mister and I exchange our gifts. Christmas morning, Santa has arrived, filled up ALL our stockings, and brought the REALLY GREAT gifts, for Alden. It's always a blast, this year Alden got a stereo, and a few big toys, some CD's, more movies, etc.
After the presents were over, the mister made a huge breakfast, which we meandered through leisurely, while getting ready to go to Aunt Lynne's house.
Every year, since I can remember, Christmas Day has always been at Aunt Lynne's house, the same place we went on Thanksgiving. Great, relaxing day, excellent food (standing rib roast, roasted potatoes, string bean casserole, tomato pudding, etc etc and about 17 different kinds of dessert), and great company.
Today, it's snowing, my mom came over and monopolized my computer for three hours, because hers is down "and so many people are so WORRIED!" about her...*eyeroll* The mister is out working, because it's snowing, and Alden is in his room watching all his new DVDs. It's a good day. The perfect end to a the Holiday Weekend. Very chill.
Christmas Eve, every year, my mom has the whole family (and various lonely friends) over to her house for dinner. This year, we broke a record, I think. Mom, Earl- the stepdad (I'll do a family recap, like Ally did, just to clarify), Debbie and Tom (my stepsister and her husband), Lou, Chris, Sammi, and Zach (My stepbrother, his wife and two kids), Linda (family friend), Pina and Frank (the neighbors), Alden, Irv, and I. That's 14 people, all sitting around the dinner table. The kids, Sammi, Alden and Zach, all sat at this little side table, and the rest of us sat around the big table.
My mom laid out all the food buffet-style, on the island, in the kitchen. It was all very organized and impressive. Mom's computer has been down for a week, and she's been bored, so she really put a good deal of effort into dinner. Turkey, ham, potato casserole, steamed cauliflower, carrots, broccoli, stuffed cabbage, kielbasa and sauerkraut, stuffing, fresh cranberries, mashed potatoes, glazed sweet potatoes, and this southern thing of Shelley beans, ham, and boiled potatoes. Poland and West Virginia meet. Debbie, Tom, The Mister, and I all normally congregate in the kitchen, and experiment on drink recipes, or swap recipes, or just drink till we're 'cheery', so that's always fun. The kids were running around having a blast, Sammi and Alden get along so well.
This is the first Christmas Lou (the estranged stepbrother) has been with us, in over 10 years, so I thought it would be awkward, but it wasn't. His girl is very cool, and social, and he went a long way to patch things up with his father, apparently. Things were nice, very nice. It was all festive, and fun, there was no drama or strangeness.
Went home, opened a few presents, and Alden went to bed. On Christmas Eve, Alden gets presents from us, a few things, mostly utility stuff, movies, underwear, a blanket, a couple toys, and the mister and I exchange our gifts. Christmas morning, Santa has arrived, filled up ALL our stockings, and brought the REALLY GREAT gifts, for Alden. It's always a blast, this year Alden got a stereo, and a few big toys, some CD's, more movies, etc.
After the presents were over, the mister made a huge breakfast, which we meandered through leisurely, while getting ready to go to Aunt Lynne's house.
Every year, since I can remember, Christmas Day has always been at Aunt Lynne's house, the same place we went on Thanksgiving. Great, relaxing day, excellent food (standing rib roast, roasted potatoes, string bean casserole, tomato pudding, etc etc and about 17 different kinds of dessert), and great company.
Today, it's snowing, my mom came over and monopolized my computer for three hours, because hers is down "and so many people are so WORRIED!" about her...*eyeroll* The mister is out working, because it's snowing, and Alden is in his room watching all his new DVDs. It's a good day. The perfect end to a the Holiday Weekend. Very chill.
12.24.2004
Stolen from Ally, who stole it from someone else...
Three names you go by:
Lili
Lilija
Lisa
Three screennames you have:
sisdeth13
Arachne
Lilija
Three things you like about yourself:
My zen-like calm
My mind
My wit
Three things you hate/dislike about yourself:
My weight
My indecisiveness about my future
My lack of priority, sometimes
Three parts of your heritage:
umm. I don't know, I'm adopted. I'll just go with my parent's heritage:
Polish
Italian
German
Three things that scare you:
Being Lonely (alone, which I love, and Lonely are two different things)
Alden making bad choices in life
Losing things that I work very hard for
Three of your everyday essentials:
World of Warcraft
Talking to certain people
Spending undivided one on one time with Alden
Three things you are wearing right now:
I'm dressed up all pretty for Christmas Eve with the family, so:
A new crisp dress shirt, white with faint purple, silver and black pinstripes
My spider ring
Lots of eyeliner
Three of your favorite bands/artists (at the moment):
Nick Cave
Anthrax
Twisted Sister (woo, goin to see them on January 15!)
Three of your favorite songs at present:
Burn in Hell-Twisted Sister
Cemetary Gates- Pantera (RIP :( )
Into My Arms- Nick Cave
Three new things you want to try in the next 12 months:
Finishing those last two bloody classes from Brookdale
Building bookshelves
cooking something complicated, like a cassoulet, pot au feu, terrine, or something like that that require days of prepration and many fussy steps
Three things you want in a relationship (love is a given):
Humor
Support
Honesty
Two truths and a lie:
I like mushrooms
I was born in Spain
I pierced my own nipple with a safety pin when I was 16
Three physical things about the opposite sex (or same) that appeal to you:
(Ally and I are almost the same, on this one)
Hands
Voice
Neck
Three things you just can't do:
Keep my opinions to myself
Get up early, and be a productive little domestic, like I should
Deal with contractors, anymore, ever, at all.
Three of your favorite hobbies:
Gaming (Yes, World of Warcraft, and how)
Spiders/reptiles
Reading
Three things you want to do really badly right now:
See someone, that I don't spend nearly enough time with
Eat the pan of triple chocolate chip Kahlua brownies that I made for today's dessert
Play WoW
Three careers you're considering:
Caterer
Historian
Owning a small business
Three places you want to go on vacation:
Seattle
Bali
Guam
Three kids names:
Gabriel (I really like this name, but everyone I know hates it)
Rhiannon Stephanie (if Alden were a girl, that would have been it)
Lilly Anna (My other girl choice)
Three things you want to do before you die:
Go back to Guam, one more time, at least
Find out if my dad is who I think he is
See Alden successful, and happy, as an adult
Three people who have to take this quiz now or die painfully:
Michele
Mindy
and either Adam or Zare
I love these tell all lists, they're a great jump start for a whole random string of thinking.
Lili
Lilija
Lisa
Three screennames you have:
sisdeth13
Arachne
Lilija
Three things you like about yourself:
My zen-like calm
My mind
My wit
Three things you hate/dislike about yourself:
My weight
My indecisiveness about my future
My lack of priority, sometimes
Three parts of your heritage:
umm. I don't know, I'm adopted. I'll just go with my parent's heritage:
Polish
Italian
German
Three things that scare you:
Being Lonely (alone, which I love, and Lonely are two different things)
Alden making bad choices in life
Losing things that I work very hard for
Three of your everyday essentials:
World of Warcraft
Talking to certain people
Spending undivided one on one time with Alden
Three things you are wearing right now:
I'm dressed up all pretty for Christmas Eve with the family, so:
A new crisp dress shirt, white with faint purple, silver and black pinstripes
My spider ring
Lots of eyeliner
Three of your favorite bands/artists (at the moment):
Nick Cave
Anthrax
Twisted Sister (woo, goin to see them on January 15!)
Three of your favorite songs at present:
Burn in Hell-Twisted Sister
Cemetary Gates- Pantera (RIP :( )
Into My Arms- Nick Cave
Three new things you want to try in the next 12 months:
Finishing those last two bloody classes from Brookdale
Building bookshelves
cooking something complicated, like a cassoulet, pot au feu, terrine, or something like that that require days of prepration and many fussy steps
Three things you want in a relationship (love is a given):
Humor
Support
Honesty
Two truths and a lie:
I like mushrooms
I was born in Spain
I pierced my own nipple with a safety pin when I was 16
Three physical things about the opposite sex (or same) that appeal to you:
(Ally and I are almost the same, on this one)
Hands
Voice
Neck
Three things you just can't do:
Keep my opinions to myself
Get up early, and be a productive little domestic, like I should
Deal with contractors, anymore, ever, at all.
Three of your favorite hobbies:
Gaming (Yes, World of Warcraft, and how)
Spiders/reptiles
Reading
Three things you want to do really badly right now:
See someone, that I don't spend nearly enough time with
Eat the pan of triple chocolate chip Kahlua brownies that I made for today's dessert
Play WoW
Three careers you're considering:
Caterer
Historian
Owning a small business
Three places you want to go on vacation:
Seattle
Bali
Guam
Three kids names:
Gabriel (I really like this name, but everyone I know hates it)
Rhiannon Stephanie (if Alden were a girl, that would have been it)
Lilly Anna (My other girl choice)
Three things you want to do before you die:
Go back to Guam, one more time, at least
Find out if my dad is who I think he is
See Alden successful, and happy, as an adult
Three people who have to take this quiz now or die painfully:
Michele
Mindy
and either Adam or Zare
I love these tell all lists, they're a great jump start for a whole random string of thinking.
12.23.2004
Oof
I know it's been a long time, because...my session was expired, and I had to enter my password.
I want to say "sorry guys, I slack" but, that's the last thing I've been doing, lately.
Minutes of the Month:
Sealed the deal with the bank in the first week of December, got a check for $13,800.00, and that was that. No more Jim Graef. No more phonecalls from Romeo, no more begging extension, making excuses. No more saying "really, there's only about a week's worth of work left to do, if everyone got on the stick" It's over.
A few days later, we passed our final building inspection. Finito, done. Paid Joe the Contractor from Hell his last pennies and got them out of our hair. Buhbye. Good riddance, don't get into any fatal car accidents, hightailing it down to Florida, or anything...
Mixed in around there, we took some of that huge slab of money, and went on a buying spree, all the stuff we still needed for the house; curtains, carpets, little things to make life livable, like shower racks, towel holders, shelving, etc. Still a few curtains short, but...it's getting there.
Got the carpet in the living room, and 20 minutes later, went out to buy our Christmas tree. Perhaps we went a little crazy...it's 9' tall, and more than 5' across. Hell, there was no furniture in the room at the time... Got the couches moved in, and my desk, finally. It's rough, but it's a living room.
Also during all this time (you knew it was coming) I've been playing World of Warcraft. Yes, that's why I haven't been blogging. I look at it this way: I have little time to spend at this computer. Life is moving so fast right now, and rather swimmingly, I don't feel like I want to vent, or rehash the days events, or whatever. Sometimes I do, and I really get the hankering to blog, but it dissapears after I plunk down, here. So, with the little downtime I have, I dive into the most immersive 'take me away from it' thing, I can do, which is play WoW. Very theraputic.
The holidays this year are so abbreviated. We trotted out our 20 boxes of decorations, pulled out the tree ornaments, looked at the rest of the stuff...looked around the utterly pristine house, and put all the clutter back. Next year for clutter. Alden didn't ask for much this year, and he's growing out of the "I need 9million toys" phase, so we went low key on his gifts. He's getting a stereo, some CD's (that he specifically asked for, from Santa. Blew our minds, when we read his letter, too...KISS, The Ramones...wow, I don't even listen to those bands.) A few GI Joes, a handful of DVD's and this really cool Fire and Ice dragon playset from Megablocks. It comes in this dark wood chest, it's like the ultimate playest, two huge ships, one each of fire and ice, and two huge dragons. Sweet. I think I'll be playing with it more than he is. That's about it, really. Some stocking stuffers, but not a whole lot.
The mister and I aren't exchanging gifts this year either, really. He doesn't really want anything, and neither do I. Instead, while we're shopping for other people, if we see something that we like, we'll just grab it. Like "ooh, Seinfeld first season...awesome *grab*" and we're wrapping it and putting it under the tree as combo gifts, for us, from us. He bought me the Nirvana Boxed Set, I bought him Pierre Cardin's latest scent, the one in the brown case. That was about the only 'personal' suprise type gifts, and we exchanged them already, haha. Otherwise, it's DVD's, music, fancy drinking glasses, all that kind of stuff.
The House Saga is by no means over. We're barely moved in here. Next door is still 80% full of crap. We're bringing stuff here randomly, as we need it. "Ooh, I'm making chicken tonight, lemme go get that pan" and throw a few extra things in the pan, while I'm at it. I make two or three trips a day, carrying armloads of random stuff.
It's all quite casual, and unhurried. Been living out of Rubbermaid totes, and laundry bags, in the bedroom for over a month, now. Our mattress is still on the floor. No big deal, because I want it Perfect. We're not moving that shoddy old furniture in here. We inherited a really nice suit of antique dressers, that we plan on stripping (they're REALLY dark, and my bedroom is white, sky blue, and buttery yellow) and the bed frame is an oak box, that has to get put together properly.
That house is still miles away from being rentable. We have to remodel the kitchen, replacing the cabinets and the flooring, paint the bedroom, and lay a carpet, and replace the rug in the living room. Also, it needs all new heating, and new electrical service. Sooo, yeah, it's a ways off. I'm not worried, the biggest headache is over with. If the guy who's been interested in it, stops being interested, there's always a renter out there.
And now, keeping with my "omg no time! no time!" theme, as of late, I gotta split, and get Alden from school. I did miss blogging, and I promise to put more of an effort in.
I want to say "sorry guys, I slack" but, that's the last thing I've been doing, lately.
Minutes of the Month:
Sealed the deal with the bank in the first week of December, got a check for $13,800.00, and that was that. No more Jim Graef. No more phonecalls from Romeo, no more begging extension, making excuses. No more saying "really, there's only about a week's worth of work left to do, if everyone got on the stick" It's over.
A few days later, we passed our final building inspection. Finito, done. Paid Joe the Contractor from Hell his last pennies and got them out of our hair. Buhbye. Good riddance, don't get into any fatal car accidents, hightailing it down to Florida, or anything...
Mixed in around there, we took some of that huge slab of money, and went on a buying spree, all the stuff we still needed for the house; curtains, carpets, little things to make life livable, like shower racks, towel holders, shelving, etc. Still a few curtains short, but...it's getting there.
Got the carpet in the living room, and 20 minutes later, went out to buy our Christmas tree. Perhaps we went a little crazy...it's 9' tall, and more than 5' across. Hell, there was no furniture in the room at the time... Got the couches moved in, and my desk, finally. It's rough, but it's a living room.
Also during all this time (you knew it was coming) I've been playing World of Warcraft. Yes, that's why I haven't been blogging. I look at it this way: I have little time to spend at this computer. Life is moving so fast right now, and rather swimmingly, I don't feel like I want to vent, or rehash the days events, or whatever. Sometimes I do, and I really get the hankering to blog, but it dissapears after I plunk down, here. So, with the little downtime I have, I dive into the most immersive 'take me away from it' thing, I can do, which is play WoW. Very theraputic.
The holidays this year are so abbreviated. We trotted out our 20 boxes of decorations, pulled out the tree ornaments, looked at the rest of the stuff...looked around the utterly pristine house, and put all the clutter back. Next year for clutter. Alden didn't ask for much this year, and he's growing out of the "I need 9million toys" phase, so we went low key on his gifts. He's getting a stereo, some CD's (that he specifically asked for, from Santa. Blew our minds, when we read his letter, too...KISS, The Ramones...wow, I don't even listen to those bands.) A few GI Joes, a handful of DVD's and this really cool Fire and Ice dragon playset from Megablocks. It comes in this dark wood chest, it's like the ultimate playest, two huge ships, one each of fire and ice, and two huge dragons. Sweet. I think I'll be playing with it more than he is. That's about it, really. Some stocking stuffers, but not a whole lot.
The mister and I aren't exchanging gifts this year either, really. He doesn't really want anything, and neither do I. Instead, while we're shopping for other people, if we see something that we like, we'll just grab it. Like "ooh, Seinfeld first season...awesome *grab*" and we're wrapping it and putting it under the tree as combo gifts, for us, from us. He bought me the Nirvana Boxed Set, I bought him Pierre Cardin's latest scent, the one in the brown case. That was about the only 'personal' suprise type gifts, and we exchanged them already, haha. Otherwise, it's DVD's, music, fancy drinking glasses, all that kind of stuff.
The House Saga is by no means over. We're barely moved in here. Next door is still 80% full of crap. We're bringing stuff here randomly, as we need it. "Ooh, I'm making chicken tonight, lemme go get that pan" and throw a few extra things in the pan, while I'm at it. I make two or three trips a day, carrying armloads of random stuff.
It's all quite casual, and unhurried. Been living out of Rubbermaid totes, and laundry bags, in the bedroom for over a month, now. Our mattress is still on the floor. No big deal, because I want it Perfect. We're not moving that shoddy old furniture in here. We inherited a really nice suit of antique dressers, that we plan on stripping (they're REALLY dark, and my bedroom is white, sky blue, and buttery yellow) and the bed frame is an oak box, that has to get put together properly.
That house is still miles away from being rentable. We have to remodel the kitchen, replacing the cabinets and the flooring, paint the bedroom, and lay a carpet, and replace the rug in the living room. Also, it needs all new heating, and new electrical service. Sooo, yeah, it's a ways off. I'm not worried, the biggest headache is over with. If the guy who's been interested in it, stops being interested, there's always a renter out there.
And now, keeping with my "omg no time! no time!" theme, as of late, I gotta split, and get Alden from school. I did miss blogging, and I promise to put more of an effort in.
11.22.2004
Blogging Moments To Live For
Background for this entry:
First, you need to go read this: Day in the Life It's Ally's most recent entry. In it, she pays me the best compliment, I could ever get. Seriously.
I explained it a little, in her comment, but that threatened to turn into a whole huge thing, so I brought it here to expound on. That's what these things are for, right? Expounding. So, read that for background, and then continue on here, to see why.
First of all, I make it my business to be well read and informed on anything I undertake, or care enough to form an opinion about. I don't make decisions lightly, and (oh hello narcisissm) I try to be correct, in everything I do. Call it one of my weird quirks, but I don't argue with anyone unless I know I'm right. Add that to what I'm doing with my life right now, being a 25-26 year old little girl, acting as a general contractor, and you can see where my problems start. Every single day of my life, since I undertook this effort, has been an uphill battle, of arguing, bigotry (yes, I used that term, and I mean it's because of the way men feel about having a woman call the shots, in a field like contracting), and a lot of "Not Taking Lisa Serious" which is the fastest way to piss me off, EVER.
I'm running things the best way I know how, and I'm making good, thoroughly thought out decisions, regarding this house and family, but I'm seriously underappreciated. I mean, listen, I don't bitch about underappreciation for no reason. I know what it's like to be a housewife, and I've had that level of underappreciation. That is NOTHING to me, now. This trancends that, to the nth level.
Every single thing I propose is an uphill battle, with the mister, for starters. I'll say something miniscule, like "what do you think about this kind of rug, for the living room" and he'll argue and froth, and carry on for days. Even though he knows NOTHING about rugs, or colors, or anything, and has repeatedly said "oh, I let you handle that stuff, I don't have time to think about it" (lets not even get into what would happen if I didn't consult him on every little thing...I know I've mentioned his micromanagement, before). Till I drop it, and let him have his way. Then he comes back a week later, and says "you know, lets go take a look, at least, maybe that will be good." Every thing. Paint colors, flooring choices, who to have come do this, and that. Sometimes, he'll "win" (like with his buddy, Joe, the contractor "we go way back, he'll take good care of us") and you see where that gets us. Sometimes we come to a stalemate, and then he comes back after some amount of time, to concede that I was right, and we could try it that way. So far, (hello narcisissm) 99% of the things I have done, or ideas I've had, or whatever, have been beneficial for us. Call it a knack, but I won't even bring things up unless they've been thoroughly researched.
What I'm getting at, though, is every single day of my life, since I agreed to all this, from the day the house burned (I agreed in gradients, see. First it was "sure I'll help you clean the place out, and try to get situated elsewhere" then it was "yes, I'll handle the paperwork, the lawyers, and all the mortgage dealings" then "sure, I'll be responsible for everything operating smoothly, with the rehab of his house.") there has been arguements, people not taking me serious, going over my head, behind my back, generally rolling me over the hurdles and fucking me over. Including, and a majority of it has been my husband. He goes off half cocked, believing everything that everyone tells him, and makes rash ridiculous decisions, that wind up hurting us, bigtime. He never gets anything in writing, EVER (he didn't even have books for his business, till I came around)...I digress... Half of my life, since I've been with him, has been spent putting out his fires. Moreso, now, of course, with the house. When it is all said and done, I am going to make a Fuck You Very Much, list, and I will name names, I swear. It'll be theraputic.
So. I consider myself to have some wisdom. A lot of experience, and a burning hard core drive to do things right.
Ally, you of all people, you a near-stranger, relatively speaking, noticed. You're the first person, ever, to compliment me on something that I take to heart.
For that, I thank you.
First, you need to go read this: Day in the Life It's Ally's most recent entry. In it, she pays me the best compliment, I could ever get. Seriously.
I explained it a little, in her comment, but that threatened to turn into a whole huge thing, so I brought it here to expound on. That's what these things are for, right? Expounding. So, read that for background, and then continue on here, to see why.
First of all, I make it my business to be well read and informed on anything I undertake, or care enough to form an opinion about. I don't make decisions lightly, and (oh hello narcisissm) I try to be correct, in everything I do. Call it one of my weird quirks, but I don't argue with anyone unless I know I'm right. Add that to what I'm doing with my life right now, being a 25-26 year old little girl, acting as a general contractor, and you can see where my problems start. Every single day of my life, since I undertook this effort, has been an uphill battle, of arguing, bigotry (yes, I used that term, and I mean it's because of the way men feel about having a woman call the shots, in a field like contracting), and a lot of "Not Taking Lisa Serious" which is the fastest way to piss me off, EVER.
I'm running things the best way I know how, and I'm making good, thoroughly thought out decisions, regarding this house and family, but I'm seriously underappreciated. I mean, listen, I don't bitch about underappreciation for no reason. I know what it's like to be a housewife, and I've had that level of underappreciation. That is NOTHING to me, now. This trancends that, to the nth level.
Every single thing I propose is an uphill battle, with the mister, for starters. I'll say something miniscule, like "what do you think about this kind of rug, for the living room" and he'll argue and froth, and carry on for days. Even though he knows NOTHING about rugs, or colors, or anything, and has repeatedly said "oh, I let you handle that stuff, I don't have time to think about it" (lets not even get into what would happen if I didn't consult him on every little thing...I know I've mentioned his micromanagement, before). Till I drop it, and let him have his way. Then he comes back a week later, and says "you know, lets go take a look, at least, maybe that will be good." Every thing. Paint colors, flooring choices, who to have come do this, and that. Sometimes, he'll "win" (like with his buddy, Joe, the contractor "we go way back, he'll take good care of us") and you see where that gets us. Sometimes we come to a stalemate, and then he comes back after some amount of time, to concede that I was right, and we could try it that way. So far, (hello narcisissm) 99% of the things I have done, or ideas I've had, or whatever, have been beneficial for us. Call it a knack, but I won't even bring things up unless they've been thoroughly researched.
What I'm getting at, though, is every single day of my life, since I agreed to all this, from the day the house burned (I agreed in gradients, see. First it was "sure I'll help you clean the place out, and try to get situated elsewhere" then it was "yes, I'll handle the paperwork, the lawyers, and all the mortgage dealings" then "sure, I'll be responsible for everything operating smoothly, with the rehab of his house.") there has been arguements, people not taking me serious, going over my head, behind my back, generally rolling me over the hurdles and fucking me over. Including, and a majority of it has been my husband. He goes off half cocked, believing everything that everyone tells him, and makes rash ridiculous decisions, that wind up hurting us, bigtime. He never gets anything in writing, EVER (he didn't even have books for his business, till I came around)...I digress... Half of my life, since I've been with him, has been spent putting out his fires. Moreso, now, of course, with the house. When it is all said and done, I am going to make a Fuck You Very Much, list, and I will name names, I swear. It'll be theraputic.
So. I consider myself to have some wisdom. A lot of experience, and a burning hard core drive to do things right.
Ally, you of all people, you a near-stranger, relatively speaking, noticed. You're the first person, ever, to compliment me on something that I take to heart.
For that, I thank you.
[Listening to: Dumptruck - Blind Melon - (3:40)]
11.21.2004
I want to get angry at Best Buy
But, I can't. All told, they're a pretty good store. I can, however get mad at the bitch customer service rep, that stonewalled me. I can get mad at the retarded "Geek Squad" as they're now known, in store repair guys.
iPod. It broke, AGAIN. The damn thing heated up as I was holding it, to red hot, and the screen faded and died. It never went back on, again. I brought it in, on October 23, for servicing, they said "a week, two tops" When I brought it in, there was one miniscule dent, in the lower left hand corner. I asked the guy "does this count as mistreated?" He was all "ohhh, nooo, that's NOTHING, when they say abused, they mean a cracked cover, or a really bad dent, that's nothing" K. Cool.
I called after two and a half weeks, it was still out. I called last week, they said it shipped, that it would arrive midweek. Mid-week came and went, and I'm getting annoyed. I show up today, and WHOA, there it was, waiting for me! It arrived November 19! (No one contacted me. I figured out why, later) I was like, well, I wasn't near the phone that day, perhaps I missed the call....no biggie, here I am now, gimme my thing back.
They were holding it at another part of the desk, three or four people were circling it, looking concerned. It looked like the buck got passed from one guy to another, to another, till this woman came out. Said "You signed off, that it was dented, they said they won't fix it, due to abuse." Then, I reminded them that THAT guy (who was way on the other side of the counter, investing himself deeply in shelf rearranging) said that it wasn't dented enough, to count as abused. This bitch pulls it out of the box, and WHOA HOLY FUCKING SHIT WHAT THE HELL IS THAT...there was an ENORMOUS dent in the lower corner, a nice scrape, even. I took one look at it, and said "THAT isn't my dent. I didn't sign off on THAT. I signed off on this one, this small one right here." (Meanwhile, the mister is starting to bubble. The mercury is rising) She said, "you signed off that it was dented, and there's dents, there's no way of knowing how badly or where" I said "What can we do?" She kept repeating over and over, about the fucking abuse, how it's dented, how the PSP doesn't cover mistreatment (yeah no shit, lady, it wasn't mistreated, it's a COMPLETE PIECE OF SHIT, this is the second one I've had to return for the same bullshit internal problems).
She stonewalled, worst possible customer service move, EVER. No "well, we can send it back to be fixed, but you'll have to pay for it" No, "how about you call our service desk, and they can help you better." No nothing. Just the "You broke it, we're not fixing it" speech. Did she pack it back into the box, and apologize? No. I didn't know what to do, it was just esclating, I kept repeating, "What can I do? What can we do? I need this fixed, I didn't spend over $600 on this thing and the accesories for it, to write it off, it's GOT to be fixable." She kept shuffling stuff, avoiding my eyes, and mumbling that it wasn't their problem, yet she wasn't offering me any solutions. As a matter of fact, becase the mister was pacing, and mumbling (no, I swear it, he wasn't yelling yet, which was exemplary restraint on his part, I think) someone called the Holmdel cops, yes, folks, a cop showed up. How's that for customer service.
The mister finally grabbed it from her, and the box, and paperwork, and stormed out, yelling "DON'T BUY SHIT HERE, THE SERVICE SUCKS THEY'RE ONLY TRYING TO FUCK YOU" on the way out the door. Some woman was buying a laptop, and he was like "I WOULDN'T GET THAT IF I WERE YOU THEY'LL BREAK IT MORE IF YOU SEND IT FOR SERVICE" as we left. The cop was outside, and followed us to our car.
I cooled down, after we got home, and called the customer service number, they agreed, that the store handled it poorly, and that it could be fixed, but I had to pay for it. I was like "ok, I can handle that, but is there any way of proving that it wasn't ME that put this enormous dent on it?" They said, not really, that it was all just heresay, and I'd have to find out the name of the asshole who took it from me in the first place, and if the service center had more thorough notes than "dented" like how and where, when it arrived, etc. Whatever, I'd rather just have it fixed, than get mired in all that bullshit.
What I AM gonna do, though, is when whatever place fixes it, I'm gonna get a copy of their service order, and compare it to the original problem, the heating up and dying thing, which is what I sent this one in for, heating up and dying. I'll prove that it wasn't the dent that caused it, because it didn't because I didn't put the goddamn dent in it... The Best Buy service people just took one look at it, said "dented, we're not fixing it" and didn't even bother to crack it open. That's on the notes that the customer service lady had. She said they should have diagnosed the ACTUAL problem, and called me (back when they got it, early November) with a repair estimate. Which I would have been annoyed about, but I would have done it. Not this bullshit.
You know what? I am going to call the Holmdel Best Buy, and make a formal complaint, too, against the Customer Service counter. Even the Customer Service rep on the phone said they mishandled it. That was a fucking nightmare. I have quite the tension headache now.
iPod. It broke, AGAIN. The damn thing heated up as I was holding it, to red hot, and the screen faded and died. It never went back on, again. I brought it in, on October 23, for servicing, they said "a week, two tops" When I brought it in, there was one miniscule dent, in the lower left hand corner. I asked the guy "does this count as mistreated?" He was all "ohhh, nooo, that's NOTHING, when they say abused, they mean a cracked cover, or a really bad dent, that's nothing" K. Cool.
I called after two and a half weeks, it was still out. I called last week, they said it shipped, that it would arrive midweek. Mid-week came and went, and I'm getting annoyed. I show up today, and WHOA, there it was, waiting for me! It arrived November 19! (No one contacted me. I figured out why, later) I was like, well, I wasn't near the phone that day, perhaps I missed the call....no biggie, here I am now, gimme my thing back.
They were holding it at another part of the desk, three or four people were circling it, looking concerned. It looked like the buck got passed from one guy to another, to another, till this woman came out. Said "You signed off, that it was dented, they said they won't fix it, due to abuse." Then, I reminded them that THAT guy (who was way on the other side of the counter, investing himself deeply in shelf rearranging) said that it wasn't dented enough, to count as abused. This bitch pulls it out of the box, and WHOA HOLY FUCKING SHIT WHAT THE HELL IS THAT...there was an ENORMOUS dent in the lower corner, a nice scrape, even. I took one look at it, and said "THAT isn't my dent. I didn't sign off on THAT. I signed off on this one, this small one right here." (Meanwhile, the mister is starting to bubble. The mercury is rising) She said, "you signed off that it was dented, and there's dents, there's no way of knowing how badly or where" I said "What can we do?" She kept repeating over and over, about the fucking abuse, how it's dented, how the PSP doesn't cover mistreatment (yeah no shit, lady, it wasn't mistreated, it's a COMPLETE PIECE OF SHIT, this is the second one I've had to return for the same bullshit internal problems).
She stonewalled, worst possible customer service move, EVER. No "well, we can send it back to be fixed, but you'll have to pay for it" No, "how about you call our service desk, and they can help you better." No nothing. Just the "You broke it, we're not fixing it" speech. Did she pack it back into the box, and apologize? No. I didn't know what to do, it was just esclating, I kept repeating, "What can I do? What can we do? I need this fixed, I didn't spend over $600 on this thing and the accesories for it, to write it off, it's GOT to be fixable." She kept shuffling stuff, avoiding my eyes, and mumbling that it wasn't their problem, yet she wasn't offering me any solutions. As a matter of fact, becase the mister was pacing, and mumbling (no, I swear it, he wasn't yelling yet, which was exemplary restraint on his part, I think) someone called the Holmdel cops, yes, folks, a cop showed up. How's that for customer service.
The mister finally grabbed it from her, and the box, and paperwork, and stormed out, yelling "DON'T BUY SHIT HERE, THE SERVICE SUCKS THEY'RE ONLY TRYING TO FUCK YOU" on the way out the door. Some woman was buying a laptop, and he was like "I WOULDN'T GET THAT IF I WERE YOU THEY'LL BREAK IT MORE IF YOU SEND IT FOR SERVICE" as we left. The cop was outside, and followed us to our car.
I cooled down, after we got home, and called the customer service number, they agreed, that the store handled it poorly, and that it could be fixed, but I had to pay for it. I was like "ok, I can handle that, but is there any way of proving that it wasn't ME that put this enormous dent on it?" They said, not really, that it was all just heresay, and I'd have to find out the name of the asshole who took it from me in the first place, and if the service center had more thorough notes than "dented" like how and where, when it arrived, etc. Whatever, I'd rather just have it fixed, than get mired in all that bullshit.
What I AM gonna do, though, is when whatever place fixes it, I'm gonna get a copy of their service order, and compare it to the original problem, the heating up and dying thing, which is what I sent this one in for, heating up and dying. I'll prove that it wasn't the dent that caused it, because it didn't because I didn't put the goddamn dent in it... The Best Buy service people just took one look at it, said "dented, we're not fixing it" and didn't even bother to crack it open. That's on the notes that the customer service lady had. She said they should have diagnosed the ACTUAL problem, and called me (back when they got it, early November) with a repair estimate. Which I would have been annoyed about, but I would have done it. Not this bullshit.
You know what? I am going to call the Holmdel Best Buy, and make a formal complaint, too, against the Customer Service counter. Even the Customer Service rep on the phone said they mishandled it. That was a fucking nightmare. I have quite the tension headache now.
[Listening to: Zero Signal - Fear Factory - (5:56)]
11.20.2004
Welcome to the Abandonedland...
Sorry guys, for not updating.
Three cookies and a wet tounge kiss, for whoever guesses what song/band this entry's title comes from.
K, my dad left tonight. Well, not left, perse, he's still in NJ, staying at the Wyndham up in Newark, by the airport. His slut is coming to visit tonight, and probably stay with him tomorrow. He says he's departing on the 20th, but his itinerary says the 21st...Not that I'm supposed to know that, or anything.
Since I haven't blogged in AGES, I have all these fragmenty weird thoughts zooming around in my skull. I don't even know where to start, honestly.
I love my father, and I miss him when he's not here, but living with the guy for 2+ weeks in an exersise in patience, and tolerance. I really like hanging around the house in my underwear. I like drinking on weekends (not that I had to tell YOU GUYS that), etc. He listens to the TV really loud all the time, and I hate the TV in general. I hate noise, too. I'd be playing WoW or TS2 or something, and get up to pee, and I come back to him planted in my chair, game minimized, guffawing to some forwarded email joke. You get the idea. I like my privacy, I like my peace. I'm muy territorial about My Chair.
No time to read any blogs. Didn't want him to get curious and go a'snoopin. He saw me reading Adam's and grilled me about the idea of blogging, why, how, where...and if I did it. I gracefully ignored that last bit, and closed out of blogs, vowing not to open one more in his presence. Some of you guys are linked here, etc...I would be unhappy if my sanctity got destroyed. So, please don't feel like I've been neglecting anyone, you know how it is, though.
We're nearly done with the house. The loan should be closed out by the first week in December. The house is fully functioning, and livable. Electric, gas, water. All the appliances are installed and in place. We even have *gasp* a coffee maker in there. Joe's just gotta get his burned out ass in there and do a few more final shits, and we're good to go. Naturally, he's still of the attitude "we're not doing anything till we get paid" He's gonna get brought up short, though, when Graff deducts all the stuff they didn't do, off the final check. It's gonna be more than half of the final draw. Hah. Screw them.
My mom is going away for a week, leaving tomorrow at the crack of dawn. She's gonna be gone for Thanksgiving, and that sorta sucked. I was planning on hosting a family dinner at her house, and cooking etc. Then it was just gonna be the three of us. Quiet, but I have free reign to cook what I want, how I want (none of that "Tom doesn't like garlic, so he won't eat the potatoes...Earl can't eat onions so leave that out of the stuffing...oh...you put WHAT in the cranberries?! I'm not eating that" bullshit.) BUUUUT...my favorite Aunt in the whole entire universe just emailed me, saying "Heard your mom was leaving, wanna come down here and spend it with us?" Her, her brother, and mother, and their dogs. AWESOME. I get to bring food (which they love anything I cook, so I have free reign, still) so that'll solve my total urge to cook. We get AWESOME company, I really love them so much. Perfect way for things to turn out, as far as I'm concerned.
We found out that the mister's criminal white trash stepfamily has been stealing our mail, and cashed a very large check coming to us from the mortgage company (to the tune of $2,585.00). We have our lawyer, the town police, and the county prosecuter on the jobby. I have faith that that super mega mega bitch stepmother of his has finally conned her last con, and shot herself in the foot (that's a lot of money to be thievin).
K. I think I'm done. For now. Oh there's more, believe me. My fingers are tired.
Three cookies and a wet tounge kiss, for whoever guesses what song/band this entry's title comes from.
K, my dad left tonight. Well, not left, perse, he's still in NJ, staying at the Wyndham up in Newark, by the airport. His slut is coming to visit tonight, and probably stay with him tomorrow. He says he's departing on the 20th, but his itinerary says the 21st...Not that I'm supposed to know that, or anything.
Since I haven't blogged in AGES, I have all these fragmenty weird thoughts zooming around in my skull. I don't even know where to start, honestly.
I love my father, and I miss him when he's not here, but living with the guy for 2+ weeks in an exersise in patience, and tolerance. I really like hanging around the house in my underwear. I like drinking on weekends (not that I had to tell YOU GUYS that), etc. He listens to the TV really loud all the time, and I hate the TV in general. I hate noise, too. I'd be playing WoW or TS2 or something, and get up to pee, and I come back to him planted in my chair, game minimized, guffawing to some forwarded email joke. You get the idea. I like my privacy, I like my peace. I'm muy territorial about My Chair.
No time to read any blogs. Didn't want him to get curious and go a'snoopin. He saw me reading Adam's and grilled me about the idea of blogging, why, how, where...and if I did it. I gracefully ignored that last bit, and closed out of blogs, vowing not to open one more in his presence. Some of you guys are linked here, etc...I would be unhappy if my sanctity got destroyed. So, please don't feel like I've been neglecting anyone, you know how it is, though.
We're nearly done with the house. The loan should be closed out by the first week in December. The house is fully functioning, and livable. Electric, gas, water. All the appliances are installed and in place. We even have *gasp* a coffee maker in there. Joe's just gotta get his burned out ass in there and do a few more final shits, and we're good to go. Naturally, he's still of the attitude "we're not doing anything till we get paid" He's gonna get brought up short, though, when Graff deducts all the stuff they didn't do, off the final check. It's gonna be more than half of the final draw. Hah. Screw them.
My mom is going away for a week, leaving tomorrow at the crack of dawn. She's gonna be gone for Thanksgiving, and that sorta sucked. I was planning on hosting a family dinner at her house, and cooking etc. Then it was just gonna be the three of us. Quiet, but I have free reign to cook what I want, how I want (none of that "Tom doesn't like garlic, so he won't eat the potatoes...Earl can't eat onions so leave that out of the stuffing...oh...you put WHAT in the cranberries?! I'm not eating that" bullshit.) BUUUUT...my favorite Aunt in the whole entire universe just emailed me, saying "Heard your mom was leaving, wanna come down here and spend it with us?" Her, her brother, and mother, and their dogs. AWESOME. I get to bring food (which they love anything I cook, so I have free reign, still) so that'll solve my total urge to cook. We get AWESOME company, I really love them so much. Perfect way for things to turn out, as far as I'm concerned.
We found out that the mister's criminal white trash stepfamily has been stealing our mail, and cashed a very large check coming to us from the mortgage company (to the tune of $2,585.00). We have our lawyer, the town police, and the county prosecuter on the jobby. I have faith that that super mega mega bitch stepmother of his has finally conned her last con, and shot herself in the foot (that's a lot of money to be thievin).
K. I think I'm done. For now. Oh there's more, believe me. My fingers are tired.
11.11.2004
It's Weird
My dad's here, right. There's all sorts of stuff I want to blog about, regarding him, his visit, etc, but every time I sit down to write some huge thing, either I get interrupted, or he materializes, or something. I'm having a hard time keeping my blogging inspirations in my head long enough to expound on them.
It's like "ooh, that'll be good to write about, but I can't right now" *time passes* "what was I gonna say...crap...ah well, I'll go play some WoW"
With the mister on vacation, and my dad around, my Alone Time is nil. Sometimes I complain about being solitary, so much, but my god when I don't have it, I REALLY miss it. Having people around at all times is really making me appreciate the "me time".
It's not even like we're doing anything. Every day since Sunday has been much of the same. Get up at 7, take the boy to school, get home, shower, wait around till Dad gets up...then go out to this store or that one, shopping. We're back home by 3, and by then Dad's so shot, from shopping all morning, he wants to just chill around the house.
That's good, though, beacuse we're really doing a lot with the house, in that time. The house is so incredibly busy, right now. It really does look like we'll be moving by December. For real.
It's like "ooh, that'll be good to write about, but I can't right now" *time passes* "what was I gonna say...crap...ah well, I'll go play some WoW"
With the mister on vacation, and my dad around, my Alone Time is nil. Sometimes I complain about being solitary, so much, but my god when I don't have it, I REALLY miss it. Having people around at all times is really making me appreciate the "me time".
It's not even like we're doing anything. Every day since Sunday has been much of the same. Get up at 7, take the boy to school, get home, shower, wait around till Dad gets up...then go out to this store or that one, shopping. We're back home by 3, and by then Dad's so shot, from shopping all morning, he wants to just chill around the house.
That's good, though, beacuse we're really doing a lot with the house, in that time. The house is so incredibly busy, right now. It really does look like we'll be moving by December. For real.
11.10.2004
The Good old New Feeling
So, I've been playing WoW at night, when everyone goes to bed. It's the only time I get the chance to, so, I stay up far too late, but it's so worth it.
This game has done it, the thing that no other MMO since AC has done for me. It's recaptured the newb essence, the thrill of discovery and being a low level char.
Last night, Afe and I spent a good deal of time trying to get from the night elf island, Teldrassil, to the human/dwarven lands. It took two boats, (omg SHIPS!) and about a half hour worth of running through misty swamps, dank forest, changing into snowy, high mountain passes. It was a dangerous run. I must have died about six times, on the way. Generally in WoW, in lower level areas, if you stick to the road proper, monsters nearby will ignore you, and you can pass among them unmolested.
The devs, knowing that this would be a well traveled route, probably, left some suprises along the way, for unsuspecting tourists... Luckily, when you die, your corpse lands where you fell, and your spirit goes to the nearest graveyard. You have to run your ghosty ass (or in night elves case, wispy ass) back to your corpse, and ressurect. It's a damn good system. There were a good amount of graveyards along The Longest Run, so things weren't terribly inconvienient. But, it captured the "omg, see that thing up there...how are we gonna sneak by it!?" (yes, rogues can actually sneak, literally going partly invisible) feeling. The fear of the unknown.
I likened it to the noob run from Shoushi to Hebian To, in AC. When you're about level 4, and you have to get to Heb...some of you guys know what that's all about. Especially if you were mages... running along, slower than most people walk, seemingly, with crazy high level stuff at the edges of the narrow road, waiting for nothing more than to chase you, till you can't run anymore, then bite your face off. This was that exact feeling, only more intense, because there's all this dark gloomy music, the environment is infinitely more immersive, and the road was longer and even more perilous.
The feeling of arriving at Stormforge, and seeing that glorious mountain keep unfold itself in front of you...it was about as close to exhilirating as you can get, in a game. I'm hooked. It did what I never thought another MMO could do. It's Sucked Me In.
This game has done it, the thing that no other MMO since AC has done for me. It's recaptured the newb essence, the thrill of discovery and being a low level char.
Last night, Afe and I spent a good deal of time trying to get from the night elf island, Teldrassil, to the human/dwarven lands. It took two boats, (omg SHIPS!) and about a half hour worth of running through misty swamps, dank forest, changing into snowy, high mountain passes. It was a dangerous run. I must have died about six times, on the way. Generally in WoW, in lower level areas, if you stick to the road proper, monsters nearby will ignore you, and you can pass among them unmolested.
The devs, knowing that this would be a well traveled route, probably, left some suprises along the way, for unsuspecting tourists... Luckily, when you die, your corpse lands where you fell, and your spirit goes to the nearest graveyard. You have to run your ghosty ass (or in night elves case, wispy ass) back to your corpse, and ressurect. It's a damn good system. There were a good amount of graveyards along The Longest Run, so things weren't terribly inconvienient. But, it captured the "omg, see that thing up there...how are we gonna sneak by it!?" (yes, rogues can actually sneak, literally going partly invisible) feeling. The fear of the unknown.
I likened it to the noob run from Shoushi to Hebian To, in AC. When you're about level 4, and you have to get to Heb...some of you guys know what that's all about. Especially if you were mages... running along, slower than most people walk, seemingly, with crazy high level stuff at the edges of the narrow road, waiting for nothing more than to chase you, till you can't run anymore, then bite your face off. This was that exact feeling, only more intense, because there's all this dark gloomy music, the environment is infinitely more immersive, and the road was longer and even more perilous.
The feeling of arriving at Stormforge, and seeing that glorious mountain keep unfold itself in front of you...it was about as close to exhilirating as you can get, in a game. I'm hooked. It did what I never thought another MMO could do. It's Sucked Me In.
[Listening to: Feathery Wings - Voltaire - (5:05)]
11.09.2004
zzzZZzz
Hey, how nice is this, I can blog in the middle of the night. Thanks guys, for the commenting!
I just played the first open beta night, of WoW...and oh my god, what a crowd. As expected, all the b.net babies are around, and the newbie areas are superbly crowded, but it's still omg awesome. Have I mentioned? This is The Perfect MMO. I'm in love with this game.
As expected, my dad's first day here involved a lot of eating, shopping, and frequent trips home to relax, in between. Tomorrow will be more of the same.
I have to be up in 4 hours. I think it's time to go to bed.
I just played the first open beta night, of WoW...and oh my god, what a crowd. As expected, all the b.net babies are around, and the newbie areas are superbly crowded, but it's still omg awesome. Have I mentioned? This is The Perfect MMO. I'm in love with this game.
As expected, my dad's first day here involved a lot of eating, shopping, and frequent trips home to relax, in between. Tomorrow will be more of the same.
I have to be up in 4 hours. I think it's time to go to bed.
11.08.2004
Really quick
While my dad's in the shower...
This past week has been hectic, to say the least. The house is nearly done. We have heat, hot water, a dryer, etc. The electrician came and finished up almost everything, except the ceiling fan still doesn't work. The plumber is DONE finally, save for the inspection. The garage roof was a bigger project than we had planned, and the mister took time off from work, he's up there now finishing it. Things are moving along, housewise at a whirlwind clip, so I've been up to my ass in that.
Then, WoW. When I'm not painting wood, or meeting with various subcontractors, I'm playing WoW, and it is GOOD. Besides a few minor cosmetic things, I can easily say it is The Perfect MMO. I'm having loads of fun with it, experimenting, trying out all sorts of characters.
Then, Red, yesterday, that was a lot of fun, but we were sooo late. We got a bit of a late start, because the heating guy showed up as we were leaving, which was bad...then I decided to drive, because the train would take longer. Oops. What should have been a 57 minute long trip...turned into a 4 hour ride. Between the car overheating on the Turnpike, because it was low on antifreeze, and having to make an emergency stop...and the OMFGWTF tunnel traffic...yeah, we didn't get there till 4. It was still fun, Ashley is a cool chick, and the Met is simply beautiful. We saw a lot of dead Egyptian stuff, canopic jars, mummies, sarcophagi, a fully restored temple, etc. Lots of armor and swords, and morbid Christian mideval art. My favorite parts were the Greek and Egyptian areas. When I look at those sculptures and various totems and figures, I feel like I'm looking at the face of God, it's all so divinely wrought, and divinely inspired, to me.
Yesterday, we blasted the house clean, agressively, and went to go pick up teh dad, he's here now, and I'm gonna go =)
This past week has been hectic, to say the least. The house is nearly done. We have heat, hot water, a dryer, etc. The electrician came and finished up almost everything, except the ceiling fan still doesn't work. The plumber is DONE finally, save for the inspection. The garage roof was a bigger project than we had planned, and the mister took time off from work, he's up there now finishing it. Things are moving along, housewise at a whirlwind clip, so I've been up to my ass in that.
Then, WoW. When I'm not painting wood, or meeting with various subcontractors, I'm playing WoW, and it is GOOD. Besides a few minor cosmetic things, I can easily say it is The Perfect MMO. I'm having loads of fun with it, experimenting, trying out all sorts of characters.
Then, Red, yesterday, that was a lot of fun, but we were sooo late. We got a bit of a late start, because the heating guy showed up as we were leaving, which was bad...then I decided to drive, because the train would take longer. Oops. What should have been a 57 minute long trip...turned into a 4 hour ride. Between the car overheating on the Turnpike, because it was low on antifreeze, and having to make an emergency stop...and the OMFGWTF tunnel traffic...yeah, we didn't get there till 4. It was still fun, Ashley is a cool chick, and the Met is simply beautiful. We saw a lot of dead Egyptian stuff, canopic jars, mummies, sarcophagi, a fully restored temple, etc. Lots of armor and swords, and morbid Christian mideval art. My favorite parts were the Greek and Egyptian areas. When I look at those sculptures and various totems and figures, I feel like I'm looking at the face of God, it's all so divinely wrought, and divinely inspired, to me.
Yesterday, we blasted the house clean, agressively, and went to go pick up teh dad, he's here now, and I'm gonna go =)
11.02.2004
WoW...just wow.
Today, I feel that I have reached the epitome of sad geekyness. Last night, I signed up for Fileplanet, so that I may get into the Stress Test/Open Beta, for World of Warcraft, a week early.
It was supposed to be easy. Subscribe. Apply for Beta. Get accepted. Get my key. Download and play. I was planning on downloading it last night, to wake up to a brandee spankin new game <3 But nooooooo. After taking my money, like thieves in the night, they said "k, there's a lot of other people doing this, you'll have to wait in line, we're releasing the keys in groups" I'm still waiting. 12+ hours. Of course I am, because I WOULDN'T BE HERE RIGHT NOW IF I WASN'T. I'd be sneaking like a good little rogue should.
So, the geeky sadness comes in, that this has pretty much affected my whole day. I have to finish painting the porch, see. I have this WHOLE house to clean...my dad is going to be here on SUNDAY. Yes, it looks like a bomb hit the house. A stinky bomb. Instead, I'm camping my beta center page, and my inbox, and allowing myself to get worked into a frenzy about things.
When it comes in, I am going to be officially Done For The Day, and I bet it'll cause a fight with Mister Motivated.
Maybe the smart thing to do would be to go do some painting now...oooh, and get my mind off it. When it comes in, it comes in. Time to go be zen.
It was supposed to be easy. Subscribe. Apply for Beta. Get accepted. Get my key. Download and play. I was planning on downloading it last night, to wake up to a brandee spankin new game <3 But nooooooo. After taking my money, like thieves in the night, they said "k, there's a lot of other people doing this, you'll have to wait in line, we're releasing the keys in groups" I'm still waiting. 12+ hours. Of course I am, because I WOULDN'T BE HERE RIGHT NOW IF I WASN'T. I'd be sneaking like a good little rogue should.
So, the geeky sadness comes in, that this has pretty much affected my whole day. I have to finish painting the porch, see. I have this WHOLE house to clean...my dad is going to be here on SUNDAY. Yes, it looks like a bomb hit the house. A stinky bomb. Instead, I'm camping my beta center page, and my inbox, and allowing myself to get worked into a frenzy about things.
When it comes in, I am going to be officially Done For The Day, and I bet it'll cause a fight with Mister Motivated.
Maybe the smart thing to do would be to go do some painting now...oooh, and get my mind off it. When it comes in, it comes in. Time to go be zen.
[Listening to: It Had To Be You - Frank Sinatra - (3:55)]
11.01.2004
Halloween!
I got a handful of pics uploaded from Halloween. I put all the ones of Alden, with the various incarnations of The Mohawk, all in one place, plus a few new ones, from the school parade and the costume contest, hell, I even threw a few of us ugly old grownups in there, too.
You can find them here, if you're interested.
Alden took first prize of his grade, at school, and he was among the winners of the 1st-3rd grade age group for the townwide contest (they didn't have first second and third prize, they just picked a handful of winners from each group). We had a blast yesterday, walked three miles in the parade, then we went trick or treating all over my mom's neighborhood. Stopped for some food, then went back to our neighborhood closer to dark.
A house down the block had this enormous haunted house set up in the yard, it was great. Good scary stuff, untypical, too. Not your basic dummies, and people jumping out. I really liked it, because they had a few baskets here and there, for donations to the American Cancer Society. That really made it, for me. Using their yard, and what had to be thousands of dollars worth of props, and hours of manpower for a good cause. There's another guy that does that, here, has all these awesome holiday displays that people come from miles around, to see, and he donates to the Boy Scouts. We have a really huge yard, one day, I aspire to that. I want to have a setup like that, maybe with donations for the SPCA.
While we were trick or treating, we fell in with this group of kids that Alden knows from school, and the neighborhood. One of the kids, a kindergartener has a hip disorder. He's a tough kid, too. His mom whispered to me, as we were walking "I'm really glad you guys caught up to us, he was about to give up. With Alden here, he's all excited again." That alone made me smile, but what really touched me, was that even though there were about 5 kids, running from house to house, Alden hung out with the little guy the whole time. When he was tired, and just sat on the curb, Alden sat right with him, and engaged him in conversation. He waited, and walked slow, and was just being so patient. No one prompted him to do anything like that, no one even told him that the kid had a handicap. You couldn't really tell, except for the orthopedic shoes. There wasn't any big deal, about it, or anything, it was just easy concern. He just sort of stayed close to the kid the whole time. "Are you tired? You want to sit? Should I tell them to wait for us?" Yeah, I was really moved by that. One of those unexpected little moments in parenting, that's like a karmic payoff. Really great indication of his personality, I think, and hopefully a glimpse at what he's gonna be like as an adult.
So, yesterday was a fabulous day, all around, and now we have about eighteen lbs of candy to try to get rid of.
You can find them here, if you're interested.
Alden took first prize of his grade, at school, and he was among the winners of the 1st-3rd grade age group for the townwide contest (they didn't have first second and third prize, they just picked a handful of winners from each group). We had a blast yesterday, walked three miles in the parade, then we went trick or treating all over my mom's neighborhood. Stopped for some food, then went back to our neighborhood closer to dark.
A house down the block had this enormous haunted house set up in the yard, it was great. Good scary stuff, untypical, too. Not your basic dummies, and people jumping out. I really liked it, because they had a few baskets here and there, for donations to the American Cancer Society. That really made it, for me. Using their yard, and what had to be thousands of dollars worth of props, and hours of manpower for a good cause. There's another guy that does that, here, has all these awesome holiday displays that people come from miles around, to see, and he donates to the Boy Scouts. We have a really huge yard, one day, I aspire to that. I want to have a setup like that, maybe with donations for the SPCA.
While we were trick or treating, we fell in with this group of kids that Alden knows from school, and the neighborhood. One of the kids, a kindergartener has a hip disorder. He's a tough kid, too. His mom whispered to me, as we were walking "I'm really glad you guys caught up to us, he was about to give up. With Alden here, he's all excited again." That alone made me smile, but what really touched me, was that even though there were about 5 kids, running from house to house, Alden hung out with the little guy the whole time. When he was tired, and just sat on the curb, Alden sat right with him, and engaged him in conversation. He waited, and walked slow, and was just being so patient. No one prompted him to do anything like that, no one even told him that the kid had a handicap. You couldn't really tell, except for the orthopedic shoes. There wasn't any big deal, about it, or anything, it was just easy concern. He just sort of stayed close to the kid the whole time. "Are you tired? You want to sit? Should I tell them to wait for us?" Yeah, I was really moved by that. One of those unexpected little moments in parenting, that's like a karmic payoff. Really great indication of his personality, I think, and hopefully a glimpse at what he's gonna be like as an adult.
So, yesterday was a fabulous day, all around, and now we have about eighteen lbs of candy to try to get rid of.
[Listening to: Rock N Roll Band - Boston - (3:00)]
November
October, my favorite month, is over. November is right up there, though. It's gonna be a great month, too. My dad's coming on Sunday. Going to NYC to hang out with Red, Saturday. I get to cook Thanksgiving dinner, etc. Last month raced by, and this one will too.
Of course, with everything going on, I sense that blogging will be at an all time low. I don't want my dad finding my blog, so I'll not be opening it, while he's here. Well, I still have bloggar...but what fun is blogging, when I can't check back at my replies!? Plus, the mister is on vacation this week. He's not cutting grass, he's just working on the house. See, for all the ranting he's done at me, over the years, about procrastinating...oh my goodness, turns out, he's done a little procrastinating of his own! :O I didn't know it, but he made a deal with the contractor, that HE would do all this work, around the house, including boxing in the windows of the little house, fix all the wood on the back porch, replace the soffits, gutters for both houses, hanging brackets for the plumbing, and replace that damned garage roof.
He's had well, at least a year, but this shit has been falling apart and in sore need of repair for about 10 years. He's known that they've been needing to be replaced, to be able to get our Code of Occupancy. He's been silently putting it off, for months. Only now does he get on the fucking stick about it, now, when we're nearly broke (yes, the money comes in waves around here, can you tell?). I'm pissed, because he spends so much time micromanaging my time, making sure I fucking produce...that he's no better. He's got so much shit to do, before the week is out, it's unreal. And guess...no guess who's gotta go help him. I wish, sometimes I could say "fuck you, sink or swim, buddy" Of course, I can't. He's got all this frustrated pissed off energy (is it any wonder why?) and he's sorta imposing that pissyness on me, though I'm sort of above it. I used to get all pissy and frustrated, when he did, just by default, but now I just sorta let it roll over me. Yes I'll help, but don't expect me to get worked into a froth about it.
Today, I have to paint all the wood on the front porch. Most of the front porch is wood. Fresh, unpainted wood. It's gonna take forever. So, yeah, I way digressed, there, but what I was getting at is, blogging is gonna be a little scarce this week...and for November in general, if things pan out the way I see them.
Of course, with everything going on, I sense that blogging will be at an all time low. I don't want my dad finding my blog, so I'll not be opening it, while he's here. Well, I still have bloggar...but what fun is blogging, when I can't check back at my replies!? Plus, the mister is on vacation this week. He's not cutting grass, he's just working on the house. See, for all the ranting he's done at me, over the years, about procrastinating...oh my goodness, turns out, he's done a little procrastinating of his own! :O I didn't know it, but he made a deal with the contractor, that HE would do all this work, around the house, including boxing in the windows of the little house, fix all the wood on the back porch, replace the soffits, gutters for both houses, hanging brackets for the plumbing, and replace that damned garage roof.
He's had well, at least a year, but this shit has been falling apart and in sore need of repair for about 10 years. He's known that they've been needing to be replaced, to be able to get our Code of Occupancy. He's been silently putting it off, for months. Only now does he get on the fucking stick about it, now, when we're nearly broke (yes, the money comes in waves around here, can you tell?). I'm pissed, because he spends so much time micromanaging my time, making sure I fucking produce...that he's no better. He's got so much shit to do, before the week is out, it's unreal. And guess...no guess who's gotta go help him. I wish, sometimes I could say "fuck you, sink or swim, buddy" Of course, I can't. He's got all this frustrated pissed off energy (is it any wonder why?) and he's sorta imposing that pissyness on me, though I'm sort of above it. I used to get all pissy and frustrated, when he did, just by default, but now I just sorta let it roll over me. Yes I'll help, but don't expect me to get worked into a froth about it.
Today, I have to paint all the wood on the front porch. Most of the front porch is wood. Fresh, unpainted wood. It's gonna take forever. So, yeah, I way digressed, there, but what I was getting at is, blogging is gonna be a little scarce this week...and for November in general, if things pan out the way I see them.
[Listening to: Dancing In The Dark - Bruce Springsteen - (4:02)]
10.30.2004
Cocktail of the Night
Ok, so last night it was Grateful Dead, that sweet, dark, trippy experience.
Tonight, I present to you (and to myself) the wild concoction:
Midnight Special
1 (1.5 fluid ounce) jigger rum
2 1/2 fluid ounces coffee flavored liqueur
4 fluid ounces cola-flavored carbonated beverage
1 teaspoon sweetened condensed milk
Before I posted that, I decided to whip up one drink, to try, just in case it was vile. I saw the ingredients, and I thought...condensed milk and coke, potentially ew.
As I sit here and sip this AWESOME, rich, subtle, creamy blend, I'm doing the math in my head to transfer that one-drink formula into a one-pitcher formula. (I make all my drinks by the pitcher.)
I can't begin to describe how awesome it is. It's sweet, but not incredibly sweet, rich, but not like "uugh", creamy but refreshing, with a dark flavor that only the coffee/cola blend can do. It's uncomprable to any other drinks I've ever tasted, but it's definitely going in my regular rotation.
Tonight, I present to you (and to myself) the wild concoction:
Midnight Special
1 (1.5 fluid ounce) jigger rum
2 1/2 fluid ounces coffee flavored liqueur
4 fluid ounces cola-flavored carbonated beverage
1 teaspoon sweetened condensed milk
Before I posted that, I decided to whip up one drink, to try, just in case it was vile. I saw the ingredients, and I thought...condensed milk and coke, potentially ew.
As I sit here and sip this AWESOME, rich, subtle, creamy blend, I'm doing the math in my head to transfer that one-drink formula into a one-pitcher formula. (I make all my drinks by the pitcher.)
I can't begin to describe how awesome it is. It's sweet, but not incredibly sweet, rich, but not like "uugh", creamy but refreshing, with a dark flavor that only the coffee/cola blend can do. It's uncomprable to any other drinks I've ever tasted, but it's definitely going in my regular rotation.
My next BBQ
I was thinking about it, just now. How cool would it be to have a costume party, but with this as the theme "Dress Like You Did When You Were Eighteen". I think it would be fun. I would love to see all my grownup friends dress like they did when they were 18, what a trip down memory lane. Some of us haven't changed much, but some of us have changed drastically.
We've all grown up, and become conservative shadows of our youthful selves. Remember when you were passionate about your "look" and what group you fit in with? Everyone was, to some extent, I don't buy that "I didn't really care" notion. Everyone did it, even if it was wearing the right sports jersey, or just trying to look normal.
It would be so great to see the former jocks, nerds, hippies, urban types, punks, metalheads, and so on, come out of the closet of time. On top of that, tempered with that year's fashion. Remember Hypercolor shirts? Cavariccis? Hobie? Cross Colors, flannel, bermuda shorts, etc etc etc...I know you do...or if not, each era has their own brand of whatevers. I hear so many people say "I used to have a leather jacket" or "Wow, I used to have long hair, but I chopped it all off in college".
A while back, Harriet, Letty, and I were talking about makeup, and how we've evolved makeup-wise. I half joked that I was all dark, all the time "black lipstick, black eyeliner, black black black" Letty laughed, and said "ooh, you were one of those scary kids, haha" She used to wear bright red lipstick, and big gold hoop earings, and have big hair, hehe. She's Hispanic, grew up in a Hispanic neighborhood, and they were all hip-hop chikas, which is funny. I sat there trying to picture her in overalls and high tops, with huge hair, etc. She's so conservative, now, she dresses so nice. Harriet too, used to have big hair, and wild pink, blue, and green eyeshadow and she...well she used to dress like a hoochie. Short jean shorts, tank tops, little jackets, sundresses, half shirts, etc. Then, Mindy showed up last night in her Halloween costume "Mindy of 1994" and we had a laugh, haha, she looked just the way I remember her from when we started hanging out ('95), jeans, tee shirt, flannel, and pink hair. Of course, we got all nostalgiac.
Yeah, I would love to throw a party like that, but people wouldn't 'get it'. Too many of my friends are "too cool" to be dressing all silly like that. I'd do it (hell, I do it every day, to some degree).
We've all grown up, and become conservative shadows of our youthful selves. Remember when you were passionate about your "look" and what group you fit in with? Everyone was, to some extent, I don't buy that "I didn't really care" notion. Everyone did it, even if it was wearing the right sports jersey, or just trying to look normal.
It would be so great to see the former jocks, nerds, hippies, urban types, punks, metalheads, and so on, come out of the closet of time. On top of that, tempered with that year's fashion. Remember Hypercolor shirts? Cavariccis? Hobie? Cross Colors, flannel, bermuda shorts, etc etc etc...I know you do...or if not, each era has their own brand of whatevers. I hear so many people say "I used to have a leather jacket" or "Wow, I used to have long hair, but I chopped it all off in college".
A while back, Harriet, Letty, and I were talking about makeup, and how we've evolved makeup-wise. I half joked that I was all dark, all the time "black lipstick, black eyeliner, black black black" Letty laughed, and said "ooh, you were one of those scary kids, haha" She used to wear bright red lipstick, and big gold hoop earings, and have big hair, hehe. She's Hispanic, grew up in a Hispanic neighborhood, and they were all hip-hop chikas, which is funny. I sat there trying to picture her in overalls and high tops, with huge hair, etc. She's so conservative, now, she dresses so nice. Harriet too, used to have big hair, and wild pink, blue, and green eyeshadow and she...well she used to dress like a hoochie. Short jean shorts, tank tops, little jackets, sundresses, half shirts, etc. Then, Mindy showed up last night in her Halloween costume "Mindy of 1994" and we had a laugh, haha, she looked just the way I remember her from when we started hanging out ('95), jeans, tee shirt, flannel, and pink hair. Of course, we got all nostalgiac.
Yeah, I would love to throw a party like that, but people wouldn't 'get it'. Too many of my friends are "too cool" to be dressing all silly like that. I'd do it (hell, I do it every day, to some degree).
[Listening to: No Nay Never - The Dubliners - (3:13)]
Weekend stuff
Last night was fun, but I fear I got Mindy hooked on The Sims 2. That's cool, it really is a great game, but why can't people get into MMO's like that!? I wish I could recruit RL friends into playing mmorpgs with me. Instead I get them hooked on The Sims, and watch as they dissapear into The Great Gaming Void.
I loved that drink, the Grateful Dead, it was awesome. I think I really blew my drinking fuse, though. Since that infamous night in September, I haven't been able to get drunk, or anything. I'm barely able to drink. Normally, nowadays a few drinks is my limit. Last week was the closest I got, by finishing that small bottle of Tequila Rose, and even then I was only buzzed.
Yesterday, I preordered WoW, by buying the box thing, at Best Buy. It came with a book, which I expected to ignore, mostly. I soon discovered that it's by Richard A. Knaak, one of my favorite fantasy authors! He wrote Legend of Huma, which is my all time favorite Dragonlance book (which is saying a lot, given how much I loved the Dragonlance series when I was younger) I got a few pages into the book, and I must say, I'm looking forward to reading it. It'll take the edge off the antsy waiting time, for the game to be released.
I loved that drink, the Grateful Dead, it was awesome. I think I really blew my drinking fuse, though. Since that infamous night in September, I haven't been able to get drunk, or anything. I'm barely able to drink. Normally, nowadays a few drinks is my limit. Last week was the closest I got, by finishing that small bottle of Tequila Rose, and even then I was only buzzed.
Yesterday, I preordered WoW, by buying the box thing, at Best Buy. It came with a book, which I expected to ignore, mostly. I soon discovered that it's by Richard A. Knaak, one of my favorite fantasy authors! He wrote Legend of Huma, which is my all time favorite Dragonlance book (which is saying a lot, given how much I loved the Dragonlance series when I was younger) I got a few pages into the book, and I must say, I'm looking forward to reading it. It'll take the edge off the antsy waiting time, for the game to be released.
[Listening to: The wild rover - Dropkick Murphys - (3:25)]
10.29.2004
Grateful Dead is GOOD
Yeah, the drink.
Mindy is here, I have company.
It's purple Coke, it's sweet, and boozy. I have a new drink.
Mindy is here, I have company.
It's purple Coke, it's sweet, and boozy. I have a new drink.
10.28.2004
Bringing the inner punk out
Not that it was all that deeply hidden...
But, this is the results of The Hair Experiment.
Whatchoo lookin at?!
Look out ladies!
*weep*
He's playing air guitar now. It does my heart good.
Edit: I was sick of the pics distorting my blog, so I just linked them.
But, this is the results of The Hair Experiment.
Whatchoo lookin at?!
Look out ladies!
*weep*
He's playing air guitar now. It does my heart good.
[Listening to: Used to Love Him - L7 - (2:11)]
Edit: I was sick of the pics distorting my blog, so I just linked them.
Wow, it's a record!
Three HOURS at the nail place, today. They do a great job, though. Part of the reason it takes so long is because we yak and giggle, and be girly. I've been going there for about six months, and the same two girls always work on me (sometimes Paul does, but mostly the girls) They're sisters, from Vietnam, they moved here with their family 11 years ago. They crack me up, we're all about the same age, and they have kids too. Sometimes it's very nice to be able to relate to people on that level. Being a young mother, and all. They do such a great job, I even let them pick my colors, sometimes. Today, they hooked me up with this color called Drama Queen It's almost the same color as my hair.
I feel pretty good, now. Renewed, and all. Shiny polished too.
Ally, thank you for the halo advice, that's perfect. I'm heading to the craft store, later. The old ladies there are used to me...I'm the only one that buys little naked babydolls, and little wooden boxes to glue them into.
I feel pretty good, now. Renewed, and all. Shiny polished too.
Ally, thank you for the halo advice, that's perfect. I'm heading to the craft store, later. The old ladies there are used to me...I'm the only one that buys little naked babydolls, and little wooden boxes to glue them into.
[Listening to: I Love My Computer - Bad Religion - (3:06)]
I got my wings!
They're not the 5' long ones, that I saw weeks ago, but they're nice. Shorter, but instead of being all black, they're blood red, and black. Very cool. They match my freshly dyed hair.
I went out to another store, that carries my brand of dye, to see if they had my color left in stock, Black Widow. Lucky me, they had 5 bottles. I bought them all up, risking the stares of the barbie-girl cashier. I was like "These ARE getting discontinued, right?! Yeah? Got anymore in the back?" She shrugged. I bought the 5 bottles. Can you tell? I hate change. HATE IT. It shatters my universe when my favorite cosmetics get discontinued.
I also got me some fangs, too. Hell, I can work a nice pair of fangs into just about any [neck] costume (and even everyday wear, it'll give the soccer mommies something else to talk about). If only I could get them to stick. The putty stuff that comes with it, is crap. I'm going out today, to get some strong dental adhesive. I want to be able to BITE with these things. They're a good resin, too, they feel just like real teeth, and they're sharp as hell.
Now, to pull out the 328974287 black flowy dresses, to see which one goes with the wings. Oh, and make the halo. That might be a challenge. All they had at the costume shops were these ridiculous fluffy feathery halos. It's wrong, all wrong. I want barbed wire, dammit!
Alden's costume is almost done, too. I hacked the sleeves off a denim jacket, last night, sanded the hell out of it (to make it look old and frayed...hello flashbacks from highschool) and washed it a few times. It looks appropriately ratty now. When it's dry, I'll safety pin the patches on to it, and the buttons. That, his Sid Vicious tee, some torn up blue jeans, a leather studded belt, collar and bracelet...black nail polish on a few nails, and I'm gonna do something to his hair, but I don't know what yet. Oh, and the flaming Chucks, that we bought expressly for the occasion. He's going Old School.
I went out to another store, that carries my brand of dye, to see if they had my color left in stock, Black Widow. Lucky me, they had 5 bottles. I bought them all up, risking the stares of the barbie-girl cashier. I was like "These ARE getting discontinued, right?! Yeah? Got anymore in the back?" She shrugged. I bought the 5 bottles. Can you tell? I hate change. HATE IT. It shatters my universe when my favorite cosmetics get discontinued.
I also got me some fangs, too. Hell, I can work a nice pair of fangs into just about any [neck] costume (and even everyday wear, it'll give the soccer mommies something else to talk about). If only I could get them to stick. The putty stuff that comes with it, is crap. I'm going out today, to get some strong dental adhesive. I want to be able to BITE with these things. They're a good resin, too, they feel just like real teeth, and they're sharp as hell.
Now, to pull out the 328974287 black flowy dresses, to see which one goes with the wings. Oh, and make the halo. That might be a challenge. All they had at the costume shops were these ridiculous fluffy feathery halos. It's wrong, all wrong. I want barbed wire, dammit!
Alden's costume is almost done, too. I hacked the sleeves off a denim jacket, last night, sanded the hell out of it (to make it look old and frayed...hello flashbacks from highschool) and washed it a few times. It looks appropriately ratty now. When it's dry, I'll safety pin the patches on to it, and the buttons. That, his Sid Vicious tee, some torn up blue jeans, a leather studded belt, collar and bracelet...black nail polish on a few nails, and I'm gonna do something to his hair, but I don't know what yet. Oh, and the flaming Chucks, that we bought expressly for the occasion. He's going Old School.
[Listening to: Cantara - Dead Can Dance - (5:52)]
10.27.2004
Neophyte blogger types!
FRESH MEAT!!!
A few new bloggers on the block:
First off, Mei Sharona, Tito's lovely lady, has discovered the fine art of writing a lot about pointless shit. His world will never be the same. We eagerly anticipate dirt.
Ally let one of her gremlins out of the box, and somehow he found his way to Blogspot... Let me introduce you to Partydawg's Blog
A few new bloggers on the block:
First off, Mei Sharona, Tito's lovely lady, has discovered the fine art of writing a lot about pointless shit. His world will never be the same. We eagerly anticipate dirt.
Ally let one of her gremlins out of the box, and somehow he found his way to Blogspot... Let me introduce you to Partydawg's Blog
[Listening to: Heart Of Steel - Manowar - (5:07)]
Failed Tuna and a new drink
I can't believe it, I fucked up a batch of tuna salad. I'm so ashamed. Lets hope my food losing streak doesn't spill over to dinner...
Grateful Dead, a cocktail
1 part vodka
1 part rum
1 part tequila
1 part Triple Sec
1 part Chambord
4 parts Coke (not the drug, but the cola)
Oh hell yeah, I am SO trying that, this weekend. Stay tuned.
Grateful Dead, a cocktail
1 part vodka
1 part rum
1 part tequila
1 part Triple Sec
1 part Chambord
4 parts Coke (not the drug, but the cola)
Oh hell yeah, I am SO trying that, this weekend. Stay tuned.
[Listening to: Heart Of Steel - Manowar - (5:07)]
Halloween
On a lighter note...
I ran into a friend, today, shopping, and she asked what I was gonna be for Halloween. I had some plans to be a Spider Fairy, like my tat, but time ran thin along with money, and I couldn't do a big scale costume like that (making the wings, hunting down some black and white tights, etc), so I got discouraged and decided to skip dressing up this year.
She was like "WHAAT?! YOU LOOKED SO GOOD LAST YEAR!! COME ON!!" Then she proceeded to convince me into getting dressed up...
I was like "well, I could do something with these 5 ft black angel wings, I found at a Halloween store..." If they still have them, I'm going with it. I have plenty of flowy black dresses, and stuff. Fishnets, and I'm gonna try to fashion a halo to look like barbed wire.
If they don't have the wings, I could always be a vampire, that's the cheap way out. Fangs, the right makeup, some tiny sunglasses, and basically my street clothes. My last fangs sucked, though, but I hear they made great improvements in the fang department, in the past few years. They have snap-molded ones, that custom fit themselves. It's worth a shot, at least.
I'm mulling this over, pretty much thinking aloud, and she started cracking up. OMG LISA IN A BLACK DRESS?! That's not Halloween...you're a Dark Angel every single day! Halloween for you, would be to dress up like a regular angel, or a schoolteacher or something, sheesh.
She's right, though. Maybe I should dress up like, I dunno, a soccer mom, or something. That'll really scare 'em.
I ran into a friend, today, shopping, and she asked what I was gonna be for Halloween. I had some plans to be a Spider Fairy, like my tat, but time ran thin along with money, and I couldn't do a big scale costume like that (making the wings, hunting down some black and white tights, etc), so I got discouraged and decided to skip dressing up this year.
She was like "WHAAT?! YOU LOOKED SO GOOD LAST YEAR!! COME ON!!" Then she proceeded to convince me into getting dressed up...
I was like "well, I could do something with these 5 ft black angel wings, I found at a Halloween store..." If they still have them, I'm going with it. I have plenty of flowy black dresses, and stuff. Fishnets, and I'm gonna try to fashion a halo to look like barbed wire.
If they don't have the wings, I could always be a vampire, that's the cheap way out. Fangs, the right makeup, some tiny sunglasses, and basically my street clothes. My last fangs sucked, though, but I hear they made great improvements in the fang department, in the past few years. They have snap-molded ones, that custom fit themselves. It's worth a shot, at least.
I'm mulling this over, pretty much thinking aloud, and she started cracking up. OMG LISA IN A BLACK DRESS?! That's not Halloween...you're a Dark Angel every single day! Halloween for you, would be to dress up like a regular angel, or a schoolteacher or something, sheesh.
She's right, though. Maybe I should dress up like, I dunno, a soccer mom, or something. That'll really scare 'em.
[Listening to: Fever for the Flava - Hot Action Cop - (4:10)]
10.26.2004
Fucked up dream
I had THE most fucked up dream ever, during a nap, today. I'm still bothered by it. Blog time.
Background: I seldom talk about my distant past, but this is crucial to understanding the dream. I'll make this as short as possible. Maybe one day I'll blog the details. In a nutshell. I hung out with this guy Shadow, when I was a kid. We were best friends/fuckbuddies. We each had our own SO's, but we were together, in an untypical sense, I guess. So, he had this little group, when I was with him, we ranged in numbers from 4-7, and we thought we were some serious bad-ass shit. We sparred with live steel all the time, carried katanas under our trenchcoats, got into real fights, etc. We lived in a dark fantasy world, basically, and it was exhilarating. I 'broke up' with him, and the group, when I was 18. Long story short, he stalked me for three months, and that culminated into him breaking into my house, and trying to kill me. He got arrested, etc. There's loads of details to that, but unpertinent to my dream.
That was all RL, and distant past, now for the dream.
Irv, Alden and I were in 'our house' which was similar to the one we're in now, but the one in the dream was bigger, and on a more rural road. I was in the kitchen, when I saw Shadow and Anthony (another dangerous character, human poison, that one) cross the lawn. I didn't really think anything of it. They walked up to my kitchen window, that I was peering out of, and I ducked down real quick. They looked inside with binoculars, then sorta milled around a little, and left. (n real life, this would send me to the phone, dialing 911, in the dream, I was like "hunh".
Time passed, in the dream, and it was understood that stuff like that happened a few more times, like it was clear they were casing our place, or scoping us out, or something. It didn't happen in the dream, but I "knew" it, and for some reason didn't say anything about it.
It happened Sunday afternoon, it was definitely a Sunday, and sunny as hell out, almost supernaturally so. Shadow and Anthony showed up again, but this time at the bar across the street. I kept seeing them go in and out, and glare at the house. Soon kids started showing up. Kids of all ages, from young 9-10 year olds, right up to 20somethings, and milling around in the bar parking lot. Every time I looked out there, there were more kids. I told Irv "um, maybe we should call someone, this is getting scary" He agreed, and I called the police. They wouldn't send anyone, except one EMT. The EMT showed up, parked in front of the house, hopped out of the ambulence, and sorta leaned on the hood all casually.
Soon, all the kids started organizing, and lining up. They lined up like kids do for group school pictures, in rows. There were easily over a hundred of them. Taller ones in the back, some sitting, some crouching. Directly across the street, and all facing the front of our house. They had huge stockpiles of rocks, and tiny hard pumpkins. I called out to the EMT, "aren't you gonna do something?" He said "lets just hope your windows hold out" and he hopped back in his ambulance. Shadow and Anthony were in plastic chairs in the bar parking lot, and seemingly uninterested in the whole thing, but, you knew they were organizing it, because they kept glancing at certain people, and nodding. They appeared to be deep in an unrelated conversation, but their eyes were different.
It was over almost as soon as it started, they swarmed the house, hurling rocks, and hard little pumpkins, banging on the doors and windows, trying to get in, at us. We stayed in the living room to watch, but well away from any windows. But that only lasted a few minutes. Sirens started wailing, and they all dissapeared into the house next door. There was all this commotion, and it started getting dark out.
Then, it was like something really awful happened. You know, when there's a house fire or something, and the neighbors all mill around staring? Well, that's what was happening, all our neighbors were hanging around, filing in and out of this house, somberly. The kids were everywhere also just sorta standing around all somber. It looked almost like a house party, but no one was partying.
For some reason, we went over there to see what was up, filing in the front door slowly along with everyone else. I got sidetracked in a hallway, because there was this kid that looked like Alden, there, but he was blonde, and older. I glanced up, through to another room, looked like a living room, and there was Shadow sitting on a couch, with a girl in one arm, and Anthony sitting next to him, laughing and having a good time. He didn't notice us, and he was a safe distance away.
I crouched down near the little boy, and asked "Do you follow Shadow?". He was like "yeah, I love him". I told him, "He's a predator, do you know what that is?" The kid looked unsure, so I explained to him how a hawk eats harmless mice, for sustinance, and how the hawk doesn't care what it hurts, as long as it gets to eat. While I was kneeling there, more little kids gathered around, and listened to my pleas. One goes "that's bullshit, he loves us".
I was about to reply with, "I thought he loved me too, I used to be one of you" but just then, the one that opened his mouth, looked over my head, and scooted to the right, a little. All in one motion, I heard this loud percussive bang that I felt with every fiber of my body, it seemed to go off in the room, and in my head at the same time, accompanied by a warm THUMP, in my left ear. The bang was so realistic, I can still hear it, almost. I *felt* it.
Here's where it gets weird to describe. I had gotten shot in the head. Shadow was standing right behind me, and when I fell, he said "I knew I'd get you eventually". But, in my dream, I got up, and I was like "no, no, it's cool! I'm ok, check it out, I'm fine!" I kept saying that, and I walked forward, and around the corner, where I thought the EMT might be, or some help or something. But, at the same time, I knew I wasn't fine, that I was lying there dead, and people were reacting like I was killed.
Then I woke up.
It's so strange, the dream was so vivid and realistic, and detailed, I'm not sitting here recalling it like it was some patchy weird dream. It feels like a memory, and that really bothers me. I've never had a dream do that before.
Generally, I analyze my dreams, to find some thread of meaning, or why I dreamed it, or something. I'm still so fucked up over this, I don't want to touch it, yet.
Background: I seldom talk about my distant past, but this is crucial to understanding the dream. I'll make this as short as possible. Maybe one day I'll blog the details. In a nutshell. I hung out with this guy Shadow, when I was a kid. We were best friends/fuckbuddies. We each had our own SO's, but we were together, in an untypical sense, I guess. So, he had this little group, when I was with him, we ranged in numbers from 4-7, and we thought we were some serious bad-ass shit. We sparred with live steel all the time, carried katanas under our trenchcoats, got into real fights, etc. We lived in a dark fantasy world, basically, and it was exhilarating. I 'broke up' with him, and the group, when I was 18. Long story short, he stalked me for three months, and that culminated into him breaking into my house, and trying to kill me. He got arrested, etc. There's loads of details to that, but unpertinent to my dream.
That was all RL, and distant past, now for the dream.
Irv, Alden and I were in 'our house' which was similar to the one we're in now, but the one in the dream was bigger, and on a more rural road. I was in the kitchen, when I saw Shadow and Anthony (another dangerous character, human poison, that one) cross the lawn. I didn't really think anything of it. They walked up to my kitchen window, that I was peering out of, and I ducked down real quick. They looked inside with binoculars, then sorta milled around a little, and left. (n real life, this would send me to the phone, dialing 911, in the dream, I was like "hunh".
Time passed, in the dream, and it was understood that stuff like that happened a few more times, like it was clear they were casing our place, or scoping us out, or something. It didn't happen in the dream, but I "knew" it, and for some reason didn't say anything about it.
It happened Sunday afternoon, it was definitely a Sunday, and sunny as hell out, almost supernaturally so. Shadow and Anthony showed up again, but this time at the bar across the street. I kept seeing them go in and out, and glare at the house. Soon kids started showing up. Kids of all ages, from young 9-10 year olds, right up to 20somethings, and milling around in the bar parking lot. Every time I looked out there, there were more kids. I told Irv "um, maybe we should call someone, this is getting scary" He agreed, and I called the police. They wouldn't send anyone, except one EMT. The EMT showed up, parked in front of the house, hopped out of the ambulence, and sorta leaned on the hood all casually.
Soon, all the kids started organizing, and lining up. They lined up like kids do for group school pictures, in rows. There were easily over a hundred of them. Taller ones in the back, some sitting, some crouching. Directly across the street, and all facing the front of our house. They had huge stockpiles of rocks, and tiny hard pumpkins. I called out to the EMT, "aren't you gonna do something?" He said "lets just hope your windows hold out" and he hopped back in his ambulance. Shadow and Anthony were in plastic chairs in the bar parking lot, and seemingly uninterested in the whole thing, but, you knew they were organizing it, because they kept glancing at certain people, and nodding. They appeared to be deep in an unrelated conversation, but their eyes were different.
It was over almost as soon as it started, they swarmed the house, hurling rocks, and hard little pumpkins, banging on the doors and windows, trying to get in, at us. We stayed in the living room to watch, but well away from any windows. But that only lasted a few minutes. Sirens started wailing, and they all dissapeared into the house next door. There was all this commotion, and it started getting dark out.
Then, it was like something really awful happened. You know, when there's a house fire or something, and the neighbors all mill around staring? Well, that's what was happening, all our neighbors were hanging around, filing in and out of this house, somberly. The kids were everywhere also just sorta standing around all somber. It looked almost like a house party, but no one was partying.
For some reason, we went over there to see what was up, filing in the front door slowly along with everyone else. I got sidetracked in a hallway, because there was this kid that looked like Alden, there, but he was blonde, and older. I glanced up, through to another room, looked like a living room, and there was Shadow sitting on a couch, with a girl in one arm, and Anthony sitting next to him, laughing and having a good time. He didn't notice us, and he was a safe distance away.
I crouched down near the little boy, and asked "Do you follow Shadow?". He was like "yeah, I love him". I told him, "He's a predator, do you know what that is?" The kid looked unsure, so I explained to him how a hawk eats harmless mice, for sustinance, and how the hawk doesn't care what it hurts, as long as it gets to eat. While I was kneeling there, more little kids gathered around, and listened to my pleas. One goes "that's bullshit, he loves us".
I was about to reply with, "I thought he loved me too, I used to be one of you" but just then, the one that opened his mouth, looked over my head, and scooted to the right, a little. All in one motion, I heard this loud percussive bang that I felt with every fiber of my body, it seemed to go off in the room, and in my head at the same time, accompanied by a warm THUMP, in my left ear. The bang was so realistic, I can still hear it, almost. I *felt* it.
Here's where it gets weird to describe. I had gotten shot in the head. Shadow was standing right behind me, and when I fell, he said "I knew I'd get you eventually". But, in my dream, I got up, and I was like "no, no, it's cool! I'm ok, check it out, I'm fine!" I kept saying that, and I walked forward, and around the corner, where I thought the EMT might be, or some help or something. But, at the same time, I knew I wasn't fine, that I was lying there dead, and people were reacting like I was killed.
Then I woke up.
It's so strange, the dream was so vivid and realistic, and detailed, I'm not sitting here recalling it like it was some patchy weird dream. It feels like a memory, and that really bothers me. I've never had a dream do that before.
Generally, I analyze my dreams, to find some thread of meaning, or why I dreamed it, or something. I'm still so fucked up over this, I don't want to touch it, yet.
[Listening to: 1000 Memories - Bad Religion - (3:00)]
OMG AN EPIDEMIC!
You Are Scary |
 You even scare scary people sometimes! |
Have I mentioned? I love bloggy quizzies.
[Listening to: Love's So Heavy - Henry Rollins Band - (3:52)]
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TITO!!
OMG, I am remiss in my Birthday etiquette! When you told me, back about a month ago, I was like "ooh, cool, I'll be sure to wish him a happy birthday on my blog"
That's what that "dammit what was I going to say?" entry down there was for, NOW I REMEMBER!
Happy Birthday, man!
That's what that "dammit what was I going to say?" entry down there was for, NOW I REMEMBER!
Happy Birthday, man!
[Listening to: Best Sunday Dress (unplugged) - Hole - (3:05)]
OMG Ally found this, but OMG
You Know You're From New Jersey When... |
You've been seriously injured at Action Park. You know that the only people who call it "Joisey" are from New York (usually The Bronx) or Texas. You don't think of citrus when people mention "The Oranges." You know that it's called "Great Adventure," not "Six Flags." You've ordered a hard roll with butter for breakfast. You've known the way to Seaside Heights since you were seven. You've eaten at a diner, when you were stoned or drunk, at 3 am. Whenever you park, there's a Camaro within three spots of you. You remember that the "Two Guys" were from Harrison. You know that the state isn't one big oil refinery. At least three people in your family still love Bruce Springsteen, and you know what town Jon Bon Jovi is from. You know what a "jug handle" is. You know that a WaWa is a convenience store. You know that the state isn't all farmland. You know that there are no "beaches" in new Jersey - there's "The Shore," and you know that the road to the shore is "The Parkway" not "The Garden State Highway." You know that "Piney" isn't referring to a tree. Even your school cafeteria made good Italian subs, and, you call it a "sub" not a "submarine sandwich" or worse yet, a "hoagy" or a "hero." You remember the song from the Palisades Park commercials. You know how to properly negotiate a Circle. You knew that the last question had to do with driving. You know that "Acme" is an actual store, not just a Warner Bros creation. You know that this is the only "New..." state that doesn't require "New" to identify it (like, try ...Mexico, ...York, ...Hampshire (doesn't work, does it?). You know how to translate this conversation: "Jeet yet?" "No, Jew?" You only go to New York City for day trips, and you only call it "The City." You know that a "White Castle" is the name of BOTH a fast food chain AND a fast food sandwich. You consider a corned beef sandwich with lettuce and mayo a sacrilege. In the 80's you wore your hair REALLY high. You don't think "What exit" (do you live near?) is very funny. You know that the real first "strip shopping center" in the country is Route 22. You know that no respectable New Jerseyan goes to Princeton - that's for out-of-staters. The Jets-Giants game has started fights at your school or local bar. You live within 20 minutes of at least three different malls. You can see the Manhattan skyline from some part of your town. You've gotten on the wrong highway trying to get out of Willowbrook Mall. You've eaten a Boardwalk cheesesteak with vinegar fries. You have a favorite Atlantic City casino. You live within 20 minutes of at least three different malls. You refer to all highways and interstates by their numbers. Every year you have at least one kid in your class named Tony. You know the location of every clip shown in the Sopranos opening credits. You know that people from North Jersey go to Seaside Heights, and people from Central Jersey go to Belmar and people from South Jersey go to Wildwood. You weren't raised in New Jersey -- you were raised in either North Jersey, Central Jersey or South Jersey. You don't consider Newark or Camden to actually be part of the state. You remember the stores Korvette's, Two Guys, Rickel's, Channel, Bamberger's and Orbach's. You also remember Palisades Amusement Park. You start planning for Memorial Day weekend in February. You've never pumped your own gas. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from New Jersey. |
THAT'S CRAZY!
[Listening to: Low Self Opinion - Henry Rollins Band - (5:25)]
Wee quizzes!
|
You Are a Snarky Blogger! |
 You've got a razor sharp wit that bloggers are secretly scared of. And that's why they read your posts as often as they can! |
10.25.2004
Wooh!
Congrats GE He's gone and spawned, his wife is due in June! I'm so happy for you guys! Just what the world needs, a mini-you...*shudder* Lets hope your wife's genes are stronger...
[Listening to: Theme Song - Lunachicks - (6:40)]
The Suck
Last night, in all the commotion, the mister lost the car keys. I still can't find them. Three cheers for my spare set, but still. My house key is on there too, etc etc.
Also, some bitchass punk fucker stole two pumpkins from my little fall harvesty decoration, outside. I CAN'T FUCKING HAVE ANYTHING NICE. It sucks, because they were the little ones we bought for Alden to paint (which we were gonna do tonight, paint and carve them up). He noticed on his way out, this morning, and he was heartbroken. Now I have to go get replacements, but still. I'm thinking of making a sign.
"TO THE BITCHASS PUNK WHITE TRASH MOTHERFUCKER WHO STOLE MY SON'S PUMPKINS...I hope you fucking enjoy them."
I hate this town. Have I mentioned that? I hate living across the street from a bar. I hate living on a main road. I hate this town.
Today=The Suck
Also, some bitchass punk fucker stole two pumpkins from my little fall harvesty decoration, outside. I CAN'T FUCKING HAVE ANYTHING NICE. It sucks, because they were the little ones we bought for Alden to paint (which we were gonna do tonight, paint and carve them up). He noticed on his way out, this morning, and he was heartbroken. Now I have to go get replacements, but still. I'm thinking of making a sign.
"TO THE BITCHASS PUNK WHITE TRASH MOTHERFUCKER WHO STOLE MY SON'S PUMPKINS...I hope you fucking enjoy them."
I hate this town. Have I mentioned that? I hate living across the street from a bar. I hate living on a main road. I hate this town.
Today=The Suck
[Listening to: The Ripper by Judas Priest - Iced Earth - (2:41)]
Poor Frankie
I leave the house this morning, to take Alden to school, and stop at my mom's house. Gone an hour, total, and I come home to Harmony hanging off my moniter, leaning into the tank. The repaired screen on top of Frankie's tank is all blown out again, more gouges, and he's way in the corner.
This can't be good for him.
I can't leave him alone in the house, I'm not sure what to do, when I have to go get Alden. If it were warmer out, I would just take him with me, but bringing him out in 40 degree weather would kill him, surely. I want to buy the reinforced metal screen lid, but I can't even leave the house to go do that. He's got no protection, now, the screen is useless, hanging.
I'm thinking about kicking the cat outside, but that's cruel too. She's been an indoor cat, since she was a kitten, winter's coming, and we live on a very busy street (two of our cats already got nailed, since I've been living here, but the mister said there's literally dozens buried in this yard, and that one.) Having her live outside isn't really an option.
Short term solution: Lock one of them in the bathroom, while I go out. (the only room with a functioning door...long story). It'll probably be the cat, less of a hassle to get her in there, and she could do with a little isolation, the bitch.
This can't be good for him.
I can't leave him alone in the house, I'm not sure what to do, when I have to go get Alden. If it were warmer out, I would just take him with me, but bringing him out in 40 degree weather would kill him, surely. I want to buy the reinforced metal screen lid, but I can't even leave the house to go do that. He's got no protection, now, the screen is useless, hanging.
I'm thinking about kicking the cat outside, but that's cruel too. She's been an indoor cat, since she was a kitten, winter's coming, and we live on a very busy street (two of our cats already got nailed, since I've been living here, but the mister said there's literally dozens buried in this yard, and that one.) Having her live outside isn't really an option.
Short term solution: Lock one of them in the bathroom, while I go out. (the only room with a functioning door...long story). It'll probably be the cat, less of a hassle to get her in there, and she could do with a little isolation, the bitch.
[Listening to: Never Is A Promise - Fiona Apple - (5:56)]
Close Call
It really was. This sort of thing makes me examine why I keep pets. Like, do I need this kind of stress on top of things? I'm seriously ready to get rid of the cat. I mean, I love her, we've had her for 4+ years, since she was a wee kitten, but she's getting really bad. Lately, she's been pissing around the house, and I don't know why. We keep her litter box spotless (we have to, it's in the kitchen...) but, she's pissed in our bed a few times in the past few weeks. Luckily, it's only been in the blankets, never seeped through to the mattress. I swear, I'd hurl the thing right out onto the lawn, and sleep on an air mattress, till we could replace it. So, pissing, and she's been antisocial, too. She doesn't sleep with us anymore, and she acts all distancy.
Today, though...I don't know, if she doesn't shape up, she's outta here.
We went to my mom's for dinner, were there from about 3, till close to 9 pm. Arrived home to a Scene, that made my heart leap out of my chest. First off, the living room was in RUIN. The TV tray I usually have near my computer desk was knocked over, and the stuff on it, spilled across the floor. Frankie's two lamps were on the floor, but still on (HELLO FIREHAZARD, a 60w bulb, laying on the rug) and his tank was all fucked up. The branch was down, his dishes were all upturned...but it looked like the lid was still closed. Moved some stuff, to get to it (seriously, furniture was knocked over) praying that it really was still closed, and discovered the truth. The cat had RIPPED the screen clean off. She broke the plastic frame, that the screen was anchored in, gouged the screen itself, and tore it off wholesale. Words can not describe the horror...
Background: 6 years ago, we had a cat named Bailey, and a juvenile beardy named JD. Bailey once got into JD's tank, and well...we thought he at JD. We tore the house apart looking for the poor lizard, and nothing. Seriously, JD was gone. I looked through Bailey's litterbox for remains, for the next month, and nothing. I cleaned out his tank, but left it up. I was heartbroken, I loved my JD, only had him for about 6 months. Fast forward 6 weeks. I was awoken by some commotion, one morning, and I swear to god, I thought I saw a ghost. There was JD, on the floor of my bedroom, near the bed...paper white, and thin as a rail. I nearly died, I scooped him up, and soaked him real quick (he was clearly dehydrated) and got him back situated as fast as possible. His orbital was broken, then healed, so he lost the use of one eye, and he was missing toes, and the tip of his tail, but he was ALIVE. The sad thing is, that after that, he was a changed reptile, never let anyone pick him up, he was very agressive, and skittish, and he never grew after that. Those 6 weeks must have been insanely stressful, I still don't know where he was living, or what he was living on...the mister thinks cat food, and sleeping under the fridge.
Anyway: Tonight, it's like a fucked up flashback. Get home, empty tank, beardie nowhere to be found. We tore the living room apart, and the mister found Frankie under the printer cart, alive, uninjured, and very very cold. He didn't seem too stressed, though, he wasn't freaking out. Just, cold. He's back home, we did an emergency repair on the screen lid, and it's good as new. He's fine, eating normally, etc.
I'm not fine, though. God. I'm still shaky from losing Pixie, earlier this year. Losing another one would kill me. Seriously, I would stop keeping pets, totally, I think. Just..I don't know, I couldn't handle it. Frankie is just a little baby, and so full of life. Thinking of him being injured in any way...well, I'd rather not.
The cat, on the other hand, might be looking for new living quarters, soon, seriously. We were both out of the room, earlier, and I caught her staring him down again, and intimidating him. That's gotta be stressy for the little guy. I totally can't trust her. Tomorrow, I'm getting the metal-screen reinforced lid, cat-proof, but still her peering at him, and batting at the glass is enough to shock him. Here I thought I could trust her, she was so docile when we had JD, and she's never cast Pris a second glance. Fucking bitch of a cat. I'm harboring ill will towards her, now. I'm not sure what to do.
Today, though...I don't know, if she doesn't shape up, she's outta here.
We went to my mom's for dinner, were there from about 3, till close to 9 pm. Arrived home to a Scene, that made my heart leap out of my chest. First off, the living room was in RUIN. The TV tray I usually have near my computer desk was knocked over, and the stuff on it, spilled across the floor. Frankie's two lamps were on the floor, but still on (HELLO FIREHAZARD, a 60w bulb, laying on the rug) and his tank was all fucked up. The branch was down, his dishes were all upturned...but it looked like the lid was still closed. Moved some stuff, to get to it (seriously, furniture was knocked over) praying that it really was still closed, and discovered the truth. The cat had RIPPED the screen clean off. She broke the plastic frame, that the screen was anchored in, gouged the screen itself, and tore it off wholesale. Words can not describe the horror...
Background: 6 years ago, we had a cat named Bailey, and a juvenile beardy named JD. Bailey once got into JD's tank, and well...we thought he at JD. We tore the house apart looking for the poor lizard, and nothing. Seriously, JD was gone. I looked through Bailey's litterbox for remains, for the next month, and nothing. I cleaned out his tank, but left it up. I was heartbroken, I loved my JD, only had him for about 6 months. Fast forward 6 weeks. I was awoken by some commotion, one morning, and I swear to god, I thought I saw a ghost. There was JD, on the floor of my bedroom, near the bed...paper white, and thin as a rail. I nearly died, I scooped him up, and soaked him real quick (he was clearly dehydrated) and got him back situated as fast as possible. His orbital was broken, then healed, so he lost the use of one eye, and he was missing toes, and the tip of his tail, but he was ALIVE. The sad thing is, that after that, he was a changed reptile, never let anyone pick him up, he was very agressive, and skittish, and he never grew after that. Those 6 weeks must have been insanely stressful, I still don't know where he was living, or what he was living on...the mister thinks cat food, and sleeping under the fridge.
Anyway: Tonight, it's like a fucked up flashback. Get home, empty tank, beardie nowhere to be found. We tore the living room apart, and the mister found Frankie under the printer cart, alive, uninjured, and very very cold. He didn't seem too stressed, though, he wasn't freaking out. Just, cold. He's back home, we did an emergency repair on the screen lid, and it's good as new. He's fine, eating normally, etc.
I'm not fine, though. God. I'm still shaky from losing Pixie, earlier this year. Losing another one would kill me. Seriously, I would stop keeping pets, totally, I think. Just..I don't know, I couldn't handle it. Frankie is just a little baby, and so full of life. Thinking of him being injured in any way...well, I'd rather not.
The cat, on the other hand, might be looking for new living quarters, soon, seriously. We were both out of the room, earlier, and I caught her staring him down again, and intimidating him. That's gotta be stressy for the little guy. I totally can't trust her. Tomorrow, I'm getting the metal-screen reinforced lid, cat-proof, but still her peering at him, and batting at the glass is enough to shock him. Here I thought I could trust her, she was so docile when we had JD, and she's never cast Pris a second glance. Fucking bitch of a cat. I'm harboring ill will towards her, now. I'm not sure what to do.
[Listening to: Lady in black - Dark tranquillity - (4:19)]
10.24.2004
Remote!
I'm at my mom's house, waiting around for dinner...trying to type on a non-natural keyboard. I feel like a blind three year old...
I'm also bored off my ass. Hi blog <3
Today is The Mister's b-day, he's 36 (omg) but we're not really celebrating it today, no money, haha. Next week, I'm taking him out, and all. He hates his birthday, anyway. His mother died very close to his 14th, so it's sorta a gloomy, moody time. I've learned to keep things low key.
Before people get nosy and start reading over my shoulder, I'm outta heere...
I'm also bored off my ass. Hi blog <3
Today is The Mister's b-day, he's 36 (omg) but we're not really celebrating it today, no money, haha. Next week, I'm taking him out, and all. He hates his birthday, anyway. His mother died very close to his 14th, so it's sorta a gloomy, moody time. I've learned to keep things low key.
Before people get nosy and start reading over my shoulder, I'm outta heere...
10.23.2004
Monkeys!
Which monkey are you?
Another pointless diversion from Bijouriel
[Listening to: Antisocial - Anthrax - (4:25)]
On the up side
I managed to drink last night, without getting sloppily, crazy wasted. No hangover this morning! Woot!
I also swapped out the nipple rings, without incident. No more 12g pink pearl captive bead rings. Now I've moved on to the spiderweb shields. I think, though, that these are gonna be more ornamental than anything. They really are shields, full ones, unlike my little half-heart ones. Nipple chastity belts! I can barely get to them, through all the jewelry. But man, how cute are they...spiderwebs. Yeah, I took pics.
I also swapped out the nipple rings, without incident. No more 12g pink pearl captive bead rings. Now I've moved on to the spiderweb shields. I think, though, that these are gonna be more ornamental than anything. They really are shields, full ones, unlike my little half-heart ones. Nipple chastity belts! I can barely get to them, through all the jewelry. But man, how cute are they...spiderwebs. Yeah, I took pics.
[Listening to: Stained Class - Judas Priest - (5:20)]
So I'm like...
Yeah, I'm so not into the porn thing.
"why?"
"All those skinny ass girls getting fucked, eh, yuck, makes me feel yucky about myself"
Meh, he argued with me. Said I'm pretty, said loads of people would be attracted to me.
Porn. Blegh.
I'm rather happy sitting here, drinking slowly, listening to my tunes, chillin and being drunk. Porn. It's overrated.
SATURDAY MORNING CLARITY EDIT:
I was going to make this a comment, but, I figured it was more necessary to post here.
See, I must come off like I'm totally anti porn. I'm really not, I swear. We have tons of movies, ones that I picked out even, ones with lush, natural, fuller figured girls, etc. But, it has a time and a place, like anything, and in the right setting, I greatly enjoy it. My own batch of stuff that turns me on, etc. He's making me hate it, though.
I'm just...tired of it, first waking up every morning to a pornographic playlist, then having it pushed on me all the time, at weird moments.
That was my first night drinking, in over a month and a half, so I was taking it easy. As soon as I got a little tipsy, he started pestering me to watch a 'movie'. I was annoyed, because it was early, and I really was having a fine time just relaxing. Then, he got pissy, because I shot down his idea, and he sulked, tarnishing my idyllic little drinking hazy happiness.
I was almost more pissy because he kept trying to make me turn off my music, and stop chatting to put on some stupid porn clips, (none of the ones he downloaded are even remotely a turn on, to me, unfortunately). I told him no, and he turned into a petulant kid.
The more he whined, the more he sulked (and my god, he was at it for two hours, when I finally snapped, and posted this blog entry) I was like, "WHAT THE FUCK IS THE BIG FUCKING DEAL!? Why does it always gotta be porn? Why can't we just fucking chill?" Again, I felt, afterwhile like it's some kind of crutch, for him.
I do anything in my power to make sure all his fantasies are fulfilled, I go above and beyond the call of wifely duty, believe me. Not only is he 'getting it' he pretty much gets it any way he wants it, any time. I'm a crazy, kinky, sexual person, here, not some frigid naive little girl. There's not much I won't try. But, his obsession with it does make me feel unnattractive. I'm sure I'm fine, but (especially when I'm tipsy) my self esteem gets rather fragile.
So, mainly my gripe is, why the porn? Really, what's the big fucking deal, all the time? This isn't just a once a month thing, like where he wants to throw in a movie, and I'm like "no". Why so goddamned pushy about it? This is almost a constant thing, and I'm just tired of it. I've asked him point blank, when we were sober, why, all the time, and he just shrugs.
I was in the mood to have sex, last night. Early on, I was downright horny, but after all that, I lost it. I went to sleep, last night moody, annoyed, and unfulfilled.
"why?"
"All those skinny ass girls getting fucked, eh, yuck, makes me feel yucky about myself"
Meh, he argued with me. Said I'm pretty, said loads of people would be attracted to me.
Porn. Blegh.
I'm rather happy sitting here, drinking slowly, listening to my tunes, chillin and being drunk. Porn. It's overrated.
SATURDAY MORNING CLARITY EDIT:
I was going to make this a comment, but, I figured it was more necessary to post here.
See, I must come off like I'm totally anti porn. I'm really not, I swear. We have tons of movies, ones that I picked out even, ones with lush, natural, fuller figured girls, etc. But, it has a time and a place, like anything, and in the right setting, I greatly enjoy it. My own batch of stuff that turns me on, etc. He's making me hate it, though.
I'm just...tired of it, first waking up every morning to a pornographic playlist, then having it pushed on me all the time, at weird moments.
That was my first night drinking, in over a month and a half, so I was taking it easy. As soon as I got a little tipsy, he started pestering me to watch a 'movie'. I was annoyed, because it was early, and I really was having a fine time just relaxing. Then, he got pissy, because I shot down his idea, and he sulked, tarnishing my idyllic little drinking hazy happiness.
I was almost more pissy because he kept trying to make me turn off my music, and stop chatting to put on some stupid porn clips, (none of the ones he downloaded are even remotely a turn on, to me, unfortunately). I told him no, and he turned into a petulant kid.
The more he whined, the more he sulked (and my god, he was at it for two hours, when I finally snapped, and posted this blog entry) I was like, "WHAT THE FUCK IS THE BIG FUCKING DEAL!? Why does it always gotta be porn? Why can't we just fucking chill?" Again, I felt, afterwhile like it's some kind of crutch, for him.
I do anything in my power to make sure all his fantasies are fulfilled, I go above and beyond the call of wifely duty, believe me. Not only is he 'getting it' he pretty much gets it any way he wants it, any time. I'm a crazy, kinky, sexual person, here, not some frigid naive little girl. There's not much I won't try. But, his obsession with it does make me feel unnattractive. I'm sure I'm fine, but (especially when I'm tipsy) my self esteem gets rather fragile.
So, mainly my gripe is, why the porn? Really, what's the big fucking deal, all the time? This isn't just a once a month thing, like where he wants to throw in a movie, and I'm like "no". Why so goddamned pushy about it? This is almost a constant thing, and I'm just tired of it. I've asked him point blank, when we were sober, why, all the time, and he just shrugs.
I was in the mood to have sex, last night. Early on, I was downright horny, but after all that, I lost it. I went to sleep, last night moody, annoyed, and unfulfilled.
[Listening to: I Remember You (live) - Sebastian Bach - (5:59)]
10.22.2004
FUCKERS!
I'm half in the bag, and I want to have fun.
EVERYONE'S BEING QUIET BITCHES TONIGHT.
Fuck, I might just go game, or something.
EVERYONE'S BEING QUIET BITCHES TONIGHT.
Fuck, I might just go game, or something.
[Listening to: Minnie The Moocher - Cab Calloway - (3:23)]
Off the wagon...
I had a nice Hypnotiq martini with dinner tonight. Ohhh it was sooo good. So good in fact, that we stopped at the liquor store on the way home, and bought some ice, and stuff, and now I'm drinking a double shot of dark rum in my Chai latte.
[Listening to: Drowned Maid - Amorphis - (4:20)]
MOODSWING!
For the better, for once!
Ok, I was pissing and moaning, down there, right. Then Ally got on, and we started talking. This is our chat log, here. Hate chatlogs, whatever, it's my blog, if I wanted to type the letter q over and over 9 million times, I would. Buckle up and read it. Ok, I'll bold the really key parts, but still this is a window upon our brilliance.
allerielle : hey
allerielle : for a guild name
allerielle : what do you think of The Burning Hands
allerielle : kinda goes with The Black Hand
allerielle : yeah?
sisdeth13: Oh, yeah, I like that
sisdeth13: good magey name, too
sisdeth13: we could have a whole string of affiliate sub guilds
sisdeth13: omg
allerielle : yes?
sisdeth13: get someone to make a tank guild, called The Crushing Hand, or something
allerielle : hehe
sisdeth13: The Healing Hand
sisdeth13: dude
sisdeth13: this could be huge
allerielle : global even
sisdeth13: INTERPLANETARY!
allerielle : I was reading something
allerielle : and it really made me think of us
allerielle : so
allerielle : Lilija, you are a planet.
sisdeth13: oh c'mon, I lost like 40 lbs
allerielle : No silly
sisdeth13: hehe
allerielle : you are a planet
sisdeth13: I know
allerielle : and
allerielle : i'm a planet
sisdeth13: ok...
allerielle : and do you know what happens when planets collide?
sisdeth13: um, dust and gas explosions?
allerielle : they make a whole new universe
sisdeth13: baby planets?
sisdeth13: planetoids?
allerielle : baby planets
allerielle : LOL
sisdeth13: ohyeah
sisdeth13: rawwk
allerielle : you arent being very helpful to my thingy here
allerielle : so
sisdeth13: I'm sorry, I'm giggling at being a planet
allerielle : we're a whole new universe
allerielle : sorry
allerielle : i should have let yo get past that
sisdeth13: ok, we're a whole new universe, I like that, and I can see what you mean
allerielle : isnt it great?
allerielle : i'm so silly
sisdeth13: It really is
allerielle : but it totally makes sense
sisdeth13: Like, in this sense is how I get it
sisdeth13: you're your own person, with this whole evolved ecosystem, I mean shit, you were a monarch in AC. You're not some noob, hanger on, you have this whole great established thing going.
sisdeth13: Right
sisdeth13: on the boards, online, just in general
sisdeth13: and, me too. Not monarchy-standards, I guess, but I have my own brand of infamy and my own little social ecosystem, going
allerielle : yeah!
allerielle : and we have our own way of going about things
sisdeth13: yeah, I was gonna say next, that it all extends to rl even
allerielle : yep
sisdeth13: you have your whole established State of Being, like I do
sisdeth13: and, somehow, we can mix, and meld well, socially, State of Being wise, and it's this great whole thing
allerielle : YES
allerielle : you get it!
allerielle : thats
allerielle : orgasmic
sisdeth13: and, NOW, that I'm all fired up about WoW, right...we have this totally fresh place to plant the seeds of our new universe
sisdeth13: the possibilites are endless
allerielle : YES
sisdeth13: at least, online.
allerielle : its like
allerielle : lilija and ally world
sisdeth13: Seriously!
sisdeth13: Exactly!
allerielle : ahhh
allerielle : i'm so happy
allerielle : like
allerielle : this whole morning ahs been so GREAT
allerielle : i'm just so happy
sisdeth13: hehe, yeah, I gotta say today started out way better than yesterday
sisdeth13: life is good
I'm not sure why, but that all made me feel pretty good about things in general. It's just a cool feeling, I guess. Just 'getting it'. It's this whole deep understanding thing. It transcends cliques, and online-ness. It goes past basic social interaction. Seriously, it has to manifest itself online, because we live pretty far apart, but if we were neighbors, we could take over the world, I think.
Non gamers don't understand this, but a new mmo is like this wide open, freshly tilled field of possibilites. Till now, it's been Lili playing Lili's game, and Ally playing Ally's game, but now...now this is gonna be Ally and Lili's dynamic new little seedling universe, and it's gonna be huge, I think.
Even old games, like AC are ripe grounds for forging great friendships. Honestly, I can say, I've met all my best online friends outside of AC, but we got closer, gaming together. There's this relationship that develops through questing together, helping each other out, trusting each other, just doing stuff together etc, that just doesn't happen in basic chat.
But, Ally was talking planets, it goes past gaming. Ally has Ally's way of being, and she's doing well in her life, and I've got my own (I guess I'm doing well, I'm alive at least, and reasonably healthy) and we're not trying to compete or clone, or outdo each other. She's in her place, I'm in mine, we can learn a lot from each other, and share ideas happily, with no motives or strangeness. It's this total symbiosis. We have fun, joking, friendly competition, but it's healthy, not weird.
What a cool little epiphany Ally had, it really perked me up :)
Ok, I was pissing and moaning, down there, right. Then Ally got on, and we started talking. This is our chat log, here. Hate chatlogs, whatever, it's my blog, if I wanted to type the letter q over and over 9 million times, I would. Buckle up and read it. Ok, I'll bold the really key parts, but still this is a window upon our brilliance.
allerielle : hey
allerielle : for a guild name
allerielle : what do you think of The Burning Hands
allerielle : kinda goes with The Black Hand
allerielle : yeah?
sisdeth13: Oh, yeah, I like that
sisdeth13: good magey name, too
sisdeth13: we could have a whole string of affiliate sub guilds
sisdeth13: omg
allerielle : yes?
sisdeth13: get someone to make a tank guild, called The Crushing Hand, or something
allerielle : hehe
sisdeth13: The Healing Hand
sisdeth13: dude
sisdeth13: this could be huge
allerielle : global even
sisdeth13: INTERPLANETARY!
allerielle : I was reading something
allerielle : and it really made me think of us
allerielle : so
allerielle : Lilija, you are a planet.
sisdeth13: oh c'mon, I lost like 40 lbs
allerielle : No silly
sisdeth13: hehe
allerielle : you are a planet
sisdeth13: I know
allerielle : and
allerielle : i'm a planet
sisdeth13: ok...
allerielle : and do you know what happens when planets collide?
sisdeth13: um, dust and gas explosions?
allerielle : they make a whole new universe
sisdeth13: baby planets?
sisdeth13: planetoids?
allerielle : baby planets
allerielle : LOL
sisdeth13: ohyeah
sisdeth13: rawwk
allerielle : you arent being very helpful to my thingy here
allerielle : so
sisdeth13: I'm sorry, I'm giggling at being a planet
allerielle : we're a whole new universe
allerielle : sorry
allerielle : i should have let yo get past that
sisdeth13: ok, we're a whole new universe, I like that, and I can see what you mean
allerielle : isnt it great?
allerielle : i'm so silly
sisdeth13: It really is
allerielle : but it totally makes sense
sisdeth13: Like, in this sense is how I get it
sisdeth13: you're your own person, with this whole evolved ecosystem, I mean shit, you were a monarch in AC. You're not some noob, hanger on, you have this whole great established thing going.
sisdeth13: Right
sisdeth13: on the boards, online, just in general
sisdeth13: and, me too. Not monarchy-standards, I guess, but I have my own brand of infamy and my own little social ecosystem, going
allerielle : yeah!
allerielle : and we have our own way of going about things
sisdeth13: yeah, I was gonna say next, that it all extends to rl even
allerielle : yep
sisdeth13: you have your whole established State of Being, like I do
sisdeth13: and, somehow, we can mix, and meld well, socially, State of Being wise, and it's this great whole thing
allerielle : YES
allerielle : you get it!
allerielle : thats
allerielle : orgasmic
sisdeth13: and, NOW, that I'm all fired up about WoW, right...we have this totally fresh place to plant the seeds of our new universe
sisdeth13: the possibilites are endless
allerielle : YES
sisdeth13: at least, online.
allerielle : its like
allerielle : lilija and ally world
sisdeth13: Seriously!
sisdeth13: Exactly!
allerielle : ahhh
allerielle : i'm so happy
allerielle : like
allerielle : this whole morning ahs been so GREAT
allerielle : i'm just so happy
sisdeth13: hehe, yeah, I gotta say today started out way better than yesterday
sisdeth13: life is good
I'm not sure why, but that all made me feel pretty good about things in general. It's just a cool feeling, I guess. Just 'getting it'. It's this whole deep understanding thing. It transcends cliques, and online-ness. It goes past basic social interaction. Seriously, it has to manifest itself online, because we live pretty far apart, but if we were neighbors, we could take over the world, I think.
Non gamers don't understand this, but a new mmo is like this wide open, freshly tilled field of possibilites. Till now, it's been Lili playing Lili's game, and Ally playing Ally's game, but now...now this is gonna be Ally and Lili's dynamic new little seedling universe, and it's gonna be huge, I think.
Even old games, like AC are ripe grounds for forging great friendships. Honestly, I can say, I've met all my best online friends outside of AC, but we got closer, gaming together. There's this relationship that develops through questing together, helping each other out, trusting each other, just doing stuff together etc, that just doesn't happen in basic chat.
But, Ally was talking planets, it goes past gaming. Ally has Ally's way of being, and she's doing well in her life, and I've got my own (I guess I'm doing well, I'm alive at least, and reasonably healthy) and we're not trying to compete or clone, or outdo each other. She's in her place, I'm in mine, we can learn a lot from each other, and share ideas happily, with no motives or strangeness. It's this total symbiosis. We have fun, joking, friendly competition, but it's healthy, not weird.
What a cool little epiphany Ally had, it really perked me up :)
[Listening to: Cemetary Gates - Pantera - (7:02)]
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
