Ok, so last night it was Grateful Dead, that sweet, dark, trippy experience.
Tonight, I present to you (and to myself) the wild concoction:
Midnight Special
1 (1.5 fluid ounce) jigger rum
2 1/2 fluid ounces coffee flavored liqueur
4 fluid ounces cola-flavored carbonated beverage
1 teaspoon sweetened condensed milk
Before I posted that, I decided to whip up one drink, to try, just in case it was vile. I saw the ingredients, and I thought...condensed milk and coke, potentially ew.
As I sit here and sip this AWESOME, rich, subtle, creamy blend, I'm doing the math in my head to transfer that one-drink formula into a one-pitcher formula. (I make all my drinks by the pitcher.)
I can't begin to describe how awesome it is. It's sweet, but not incredibly sweet, rich, but not like "uugh", creamy but refreshing, with a dark flavor that only the coffee/cola blend can do. It's uncomprable to any other drinks I've ever tasted, but it's definitely going in my regular rotation.
10.30.2004
My next BBQ
I was thinking about it, just now. How cool would it be to have a costume party, but with this as the theme "Dress Like You Did When You Were Eighteen". I think it would be fun. I would love to see all my grownup friends dress like they did when they were 18, what a trip down memory lane. Some of us haven't changed much, but some of us have changed drastically.
We've all grown up, and become conservative shadows of our youthful selves. Remember when you were passionate about your "look" and what group you fit in with? Everyone was, to some extent, I don't buy that "I didn't really care" notion. Everyone did it, even if it was wearing the right sports jersey, or just trying to look normal.
It would be so great to see the former jocks, nerds, hippies, urban types, punks, metalheads, and so on, come out of the closet of time. On top of that, tempered with that year's fashion. Remember Hypercolor shirts? Cavariccis? Hobie? Cross Colors, flannel, bermuda shorts, etc etc etc...I know you do...or if not, each era has their own brand of whatevers. I hear so many people say "I used to have a leather jacket" or "Wow, I used to have long hair, but I chopped it all off in college".
A while back, Harriet, Letty, and I were talking about makeup, and how we've evolved makeup-wise. I half joked that I was all dark, all the time "black lipstick, black eyeliner, black black black" Letty laughed, and said "ooh, you were one of those scary kids, haha" She used to wear bright red lipstick, and big gold hoop earings, and have big hair, hehe. She's Hispanic, grew up in a Hispanic neighborhood, and they were all hip-hop chikas, which is funny. I sat there trying to picture her in overalls and high tops, with huge hair, etc. She's so conservative, now, she dresses so nice. Harriet too, used to have big hair, and wild pink, blue, and green eyeshadow and she...well she used to dress like a hoochie. Short jean shorts, tank tops, little jackets, sundresses, half shirts, etc. Then, Mindy showed up last night in her Halloween costume "Mindy of 1994" and we had a laugh, haha, she looked just the way I remember her from when we started hanging out ('95), jeans, tee shirt, flannel, and pink hair. Of course, we got all nostalgiac.
Yeah, I would love to throw a party like that, but people wouldn't 'get it'. Too many of my friends are "too cool" to be dressing all silly like that. I'd do it (hell, I do it every day, to some degree).
We've all grown up, and become conservative shadows of our youthful selves. Remember when you were passionate about your "look" and what group you fit in with? Everyone was, to some extent, I don't buy that "I didn't really care" notion. Everyone did it, even if it was wearing the right sports jersey, or just trying to look normal.
It would be so great to see the former jocks, nerds, hippies, urban types, punks, metalheads, and so on, come out of the closet of time. On top of that, tempered with that year's fashion. Remember Hypercolor shirts? Cavariccis? Hobie? Cross Colors, flannel, bermuda shorts, etc etc etc...I know you do...or if not, each era has their own brand of whatevers. I hear so many people say "I used to have a leather jacket" or "Wow, I used to have long hair, but I chopped it all off in college".
A while back, Harriet, Letty, and I were talking about makeup, and how we've evolved makeup-wise. I half joked that I was all dark, all the time "black lipstick, black eyeliner, black black black" Letty laughed, and said "ooh, you were one of those scary kids, haha" She used to wear bright red lipstick, and big gold hoop earings, and have big hair, hehe. She's Hispanic, grew up in a Hispanic neighborhood, and they were all hip-hop chikas, which is funny. I sat there trying to picture her in overalls and high tops, with huge hair, etc. She's so conservative, now, she dresses so nice. Harriet too, used to have big hair, and wild pink, blue, and green eyeshadow and she...well she used to dress like a hoochie. Short jean shorts, tank tops, little jackets, sundresses, half shirts, etc. Then, Mindy showed up last night in her Halloween costume "Mindy of 1994" and we had a laugh, haha, she looked just the way I remember her from when we started hanging out ('95), jeans, tee shirt, flannel, and pink hair. Of course, we got all nostalgiac.
Yeah, I would love to throw a party like that, but people wouldn't 'get it'. Too many of my friends are "too cool" to be dressing all silly like that. I'd do it (hell, I do it every day, to some degree).
[Listening to: No Nay Never - The Dubliners - (3:13)]
Weekend stuff
Last night was fun, but I fear I got Mindy hooked on The Sims 2. That's cool, it really is a great game, but why can't people get into MMO's like that!? I wish I could recruit RL friends into playing mmorpgs with me. Instead I get them hooked on The Sims, and watch as they dissapear into The Great Gaming Void.
I loved that drink, the Grateful Dead, it was awesome. I think I really blew my drinking fuse, though. Since that infamous night in September, I haven't been able to get drunk, or anything. I'm barely able to drink. Normally, nowadays a few drinks is my limit. Last week was the closest I got, by finishing that small bottle of Tequila Rose, and even then I was only buzzed.
Yesterday, I preordered WoW, by buying the box thing, at Best Buy. It came with a book, which I expected to ignore, mostly. I soon discovered that it's by Richard A. Knaak, one of my favorite fantasy authors! He wrote Legend of Huma, which is my all time favorite Dragonlance book (which is saying a lot, given how much I loved the Dragonlance series when I was younger) I got a few pages into the book, and I must say, I'm looking forward to reading it. It'll take the edge off the antsy waiting time, for the game to be released.
I loved that drink, the Grateful Dead, it was awesome. I think I really blew my drinking fuse, though. Since that infamous night in September, I haven't been able to get drunk, or anything. I'm barely able to drink. Normally, nowadays a few drinks is my limit. Last week was the closest I got, by finishing that small bottle of Tequila Rose, and even then I was only buzzed.
Yesterday, I preordered WoW, by buying the box thing, at Best Buy. It came with a book, which I expected to ignore, mostly. I soon discovered that it's by Richard A. Knaak, one of my favorite fantasy authors! He wrote Legend of Huma, which is my all time favorite Dragonlance book (which is saying a lot, given how much I loved the Dragonlance series when I was younger) I got a few pages into the book, and I must say, I'm looking forward to reading it. It'll take the edge off the antsy waiting time, for the game to be released.
[Listening to: The wild rover - Dropkick Murphys - (3:25)]
10.29.2004
Grateful Dead is GOOD
Yeah, the drink.
Mindy is here, I have company.
It's purple Coke, it's sweet, and boozy. I have a new drink.
Mindy is here, I have company.
It's purple Coke, it's sweet, and boozy. I have a new drink.
10.28.2004
Bringing the inner punk out
Not that it was all that deeply hidden...
But, this is the results of The Hair Experiment.
Whatchoo lookin at?!
Look out ladies!
*weep*
He's playing air guitar now. It does my heart good.
Edit: I was sick of the pics distorting my blog, so I just linked them.
But, this is the results of The Hair Experiment.
Whatchoo lookin at?!
Look out ladies!
*weep*
He's playing air guitar now. It does my heart good.
[Listening to: Used to Love Him - L7 - (2:11)]
Edit: I was sick of the pics distorting my blog, so I just linked them.
Wow, it's a record!
Three HOURS at the nail place, today. They do a great job, though. Part of the reason it takes so long is because we yak and giggle, and be girly. I've been going there for about six months, and the same two girls always work on me (sometimes Paul does, but mostly the girls) They're sisters, from Vietnam, they moved here with their family 11 years ago. They crack me up, we're all about the same age, and they have kids too. Sometimes it's very nice to be able to relate to people on that level. Being a young mother, and all. They do such a great job, I even let them pick my colors, sometimes. Today, they hooked me up with this color called Drama Queen It's almost the same color as my hair.
I feel pretty good, now. Renewed, and all. Shiny polished too.
Ally, thank you for the halo advice, that's perfect. I'm heading to the craft store, later. The old ladies there are used to me...I'm the only one that buys little naked babydolls, and little wooden boxes to glue them into.
I feel pretty good, now. Renewed, and all. Shiny polished too.
Ally, thank you for the halo advice, that's perfect. I'm heading to the craft store, later. The old ladies there are used to me...I'm the only one that buys little naked babydolls, and little wooden boxes to glue them into.
[Listening to: I Love My Computer - Bad Religion - (3:06)]
I got my wings!
They're not the 5' long ones, that I saw weeks ago, but they're nice. Shorter, but instead of being all black, they're blood red, and black. Very cool. They match my freshly dyed hair.
I went out to another store, that carries my brand of dye, to see if they had my color left in stock, Black Widow. Lucky me, they had 5 bottles. I bought them all up, risking the stares of the barbie-girl cashier. I was like "These ARE getting discontinued, right?! Yeah? Got anymore in the back?" She shrugged. I bought the 5 bottles. Can you tell? I hate change. HATE IT. It shatters my universe when my favorite cosmetics get discontinued.
I also got me some fangs, too. Hell, I can work a nice pair of fangs into just about any [neck] costume (and even everyday wear, it'll give the soccer mommies something else to talk about). If only I could get them to stick. The putty stuff that comes with it, is crap. I'm going out today, to get some strong dental adhesive. I want to be able to BITE with these things. They're a good resin, too, they feel just like real teeth, and they're sharp as hell.
Now, to pull out the 328974287 black flowy dresses, to see which one goes with the wings. Oh, and make the halo. That might be a challenge. All they had at the costume shops were these ridiculous fluffy feathery halos. It's wrong, all wrong. I want barbed wire, dammit!
Alden's costume is almost done, too. I hacked the sleeves off a denim jacket, last night, sanded the hell out of it (to make it look old and frayed...hello flashbacks from highschool) and washed it a few times. It looks appropriately ratty now. When it's dry, I'll safety pin the patches on to it, and the buttons. That, his Sid Vicious tee, some torn up blue jeans, a leather studded belt, collar and bracelet...black nail polish on a few nails, and I'm gonna do something to his hair, but I don't know what yet. Oh, and the flaming Chucks, that we bought expressly for the occasion. He's going Old School.
I went out to another store, that carries my brand of dye, to see if they had my color left in stock, Black Widow. Lucky me, they had 5 bottles. I bought them all up, risking the stares of the barbie-girl cashier. I was like "These ARE getting discontinued, right?! Yeah? Got anymore in the back?" She shrugged. I bought the 5 bottles. Can you tell? I hate change. HATE IT. It shatters my universe when my favorite cosmetics get discontinued.
I also got me some fangs, too. Hell, I can work a nice pair of fangs into just about any [neck] costume (and even everyday wear, it'll give the soccer mommies something else to talk about). If only I could get them to stick. The putty stuff that comes with it, is crap. I'm going out today, to get some strong dental adhesive. I want to be able to BITE with these things. They're a good resin, too, they feel just like real teeth, and they're sharp as hell.
Now, to pull out the 328974287 black flowy dresses, to see which one goes with the wings. Oh, and make the halo. That might be a challenge. All they had at the costume shops were these ridiculous fluffy feathery halos. It's wrong, all wrong. I want barbed wire, dammit!
Alden's costume is almost done, too. I hacked the sleeves off a denim jacket, last night, sanded the hell out of it (to make it look old and frayed...hello flashbacks from highschool) and washed it a few times. It looks appropriately ratty now. When it's dry, I'll safety pin the patches on to it, and the buttons. That, his Sid Vicious tee, some torn up blue jeans, a leather studded belt, collar and bracelet...black nail polish on a few nails, and I'm gonna do something to his hair, but I don't know what yet. Oh, and the flaming Chucks, that we bought expressly for the occasion. He's going Old School.
[Listening to: Cantara - Dead Can Dance - (5:52)]
10.27.2004
Neophyte blogger types!
FRESH MEAT!!!
A few new bloggers on the block:
First off, Mei Sharona, Tito's lovely lady, has discovered the fine art of writing a lot about pointless shit. His world will never be the same. We eagerly anticipate dirt.
Ally let one of her gremlins out of the box, and somehow he found his way to Blogspot... Let me introduce you to Partydawg's Blog
A few new bloggers on the block:
First off, Mei Sharona, Tito's lovely lady, has discovered the fine art of writing a lot about pointless shit. His world will never be the same. We eagerly anticipate dirt.
Ally let one of her gremlins out of the box, and somehow he found his way to Blogspot... Let me introduce you to Partydawg's Blog
[Listening to: Heart Of Steel - Manowar - (5:07)]
Failed Tuna and a new drink
I can't believe it, I fucked up a batch of tuna salad. I'm so ashamed. Lets hope my food losing streak doesn't spill over to dinner...
Grateful Dead, a cocktail
1 part vodka
1 part rum
1 part tequila
1 part Triple Sec
1 part Chambord
4 parts Coke (not the drug, but the cola)
Oh hell yeah, I am SO trying that, this weekend. Stay tuned.
Grateful Dead, a cocktail
1 part vodka
1 part rum
1 part tequila
1 part Triple Sec
1 part Chambord
4 parts Coke (not the drug, but the cola)
Oh hell yeah, I am SO trying that, this weekend. Stay tuned.
[Listening to: Heart Of Steel - Manowar - (5:07)]
Halloween
On a lighter note...
I ran into a friend, today, shopping, and she asked what I was gonna be for Halloween. I had some plans to be a Spider Fairy, like my tat, but time ran thin along with money, and I couldn't do a big scale costume like that (making the wings, hunting down some black and white tights, etc), so I got discouraged and decided to skip dressing up this year.
She was like "WHAAT?! YOU LOOKED SO GOOD LAST YEAR!! COME ON!!" Then she proceeded to convince me into getting dressed up...
I was like "well, I could do something with these 5 ft black angel wings, I found at a Halloween store..." If they still have them, I'm going with it. I have plenty of flowy black dresses, and stuff. Fishnets, and I'm gonna try to fashion a halo to look like barbed wire.
If they don't have the wings, I could always be a vampire, that's the cheap way out. Fangs, the right makeup, some tiny sunglasses, and basically my street clothes. My last fangs sucked, though, but I hear they made great improvements in the fang department, in the past few years. They have snap-molded ones, that custom fit themselves. It's worth a shot, at least.
I'm mulling this over, pretty much thinking aloud, and she started cracking up. OMG LISA IN A BLACK DRESS?! That's not Halloween...you're a Dark Angel every single day! Halloween for you, would be to dress up like a regular angel, or a schoolteacher or something, sheesh.
She's right, though. Maybe I should dress up like, I dunno, a soccer mom, or something. That'll really scare 'em.
I ran into a friend, today, shopping, and she asked what I was gonna be for Halloween. I had some plans to be a Spider Fairy, like my tat, but time ran thin along with money, and I couldn't do a big scale costume like that (making the wings, hunting down some black and white tights, etc), so I got discouraged and decided to skip dressing up this year.
She was like "WHAAT?! YOU LOOKED SO GOOD LAST YEAR!! COME ON!!" Then she proceeded to convince me into getting dressed up...
I was like "well, I could do something with these 5 ft black angel wings, I found at a Halloween store..." If they still have them, I'm going with it. I have plenty of flowy black dresses, and stuff. Fishnets, and I'm gonna try to fashion a halo to look like barbed wire.
If they don't have the wings, I could always be a vampire, that's the cheap way out. Fangs, the right makeup, some tiny sunglasses, and basically my street clothes. My last fangs sucked, though, but I hear they made great improvements in the fang department, in the past few years. They have snap-molded ones, that custom fit themselves. It's worth a shot, at least.
I'm mulling this over, pretty much thinking aloud, and she started cracking up. OMG LISA IN A BLACK DRESS?! That's not Halloween...you're a Dark Angel every single day! Halloween for you, would be to dress up like a regular angel, or a schoolteacher or something, sheesh.
She's right, though. Maybe I should dress up like, I dunno, a soccer mom, or something. That'll really scare 'em.
[Listening to: Fever for the Flava - Hot Action Cop - (4:10)]
10.26.2004
Fucked up dream
I had THE most fucked up dream ever, during a nap, today. I'm still bothered by it. Blog time.
Background: I seldom talk about my distant past, but this is crucial to understanding the dream. I'll make this as short as possible. Maybe one day I'll blog the details. In a nutshell. I hung out with this guy Shadow, when I was a kid. We were best friends/fuckbuddies. We each had our own SO's, but we were together, in an untypical sense, I guess. So, he had this little group, when I was with him, we ranged in numbers from 4-7, and we thought we were some serious bad-ass shit. We sparred with live steel all the time, carried katanas under our trenchcoats, got into real fights, etc. We lived in a dark fantasy world, basically, and it was exhilarating. I 'broke up' with him, and the group, when I was 18. Long story short, he stalked me for three months, and that culminated into him breaking into my house, and trying to kill me. He got arrested, etc. There's loads of details to that, but unpertinent to my dream.
That was all RL, and distant past, now for the dream.
Irv, Alden and I were in 'our house' which was similar to the one we're in now, but the one in the dream was bigger, and on a more rural road. I was in the kitchen, when I saw Shadow and Anthony (another dangerous character, human poison, that one) cross the lawn. I didn't really think anything of it. They walked up to my kitchen window, that I was peering out of, and I ducked down real quick. They looked inside with binoculars, then sorta milled around a little, and left. (n real life, this would send me to the phone, dialing 911, in the dream, I was like "hunh".
Time passed, in the dream, and it was understood that stuff like that happened a few more times, like it was clear they were casing our place, or scoping us out, or something. It didn't happen in the dream, but I "knew" it, and for some reason didn't say anything about it.
It happened Sunday afternoon, it was definitely a Sunday, and sunny as hell out, almost supernaturally so. Shadow and Anthony showed up again, but this time at the bar across the street. I kept seeing them go in and out, and glare at the house. Soon kids started showing up. Kids of all ages, from young 9-10 year olds, right up to 20somethings, and milling around in the bar parking lot. Every time I looked out there, there were more kids. I told Irv "um, maybe we should call someone, this is getting scary" He agreed, and I called the police. They wouldn't send anyone, except one EMT. The EMT showed up, parked in front of the house, hopped out of the ambulence, and sorta leaned on the hood all casually.
Soon, all the kids started organizing, and lining up. They lined up like kids do for group school pictures, in rows. There were easily over a hundred of them. Taller ones in the back, some sitting, some crouching. Directly across the street, and all facing the front of our house. They had huge stockpiles of rocks, and tiny hard pumpkins. I called out to the EMT, "aren't you gonna do something?" He said "lets just hope your windows hold out" and he hopped back in his ambulance. Shadow and Anthony were in plastic chairs in the bar parking lot, and seemingly uninterested in the whole thing, but, you knew they were organizing it, because they kept glancing at certain people, and nodding. They appeared to be deep in an unrelated conversation, but their eyes were different.
It was over almost as soon as it started, they swarmed the house, hurling rocks, and hard little pumpkins, banging on the doors and windows, trying to get in, at us. We stayed in the living room to watch, but well away from any windows. But that only lasted a few minutes. Sirens started wailing, and they all dissapeared into the house next door. There was all this commotion, and it started getting dark out.
Then, it was like something really awful happened. You know, when there's a house fire or something, and the neighbors all mill around staring? Well, that's what was happening, all our neighbors were hanging around, filing in and out of this house, somberly. The kids were everywhere also just sorta standing around all somber. It looked almost like a house party, but no one was partying.
For some reason, we went over there to see what was up, filing in the front door slowly along with everyone else. I got sidetracked in a hallway, because there was this kid that looked like Alden, there, but he was blonde, and older. I glanced up, through to another room, looked like a living room, and there was Shadow sitting on a couch, with a girl in one arm, and Anthony sitting next to him, laughing and having a good time. He didn't notice us, and he was a safe distance away.
I crouched down near the little boy, and asked "Do you follow Shadow?". He was like "yeah, I love him". I told him, "He's a predator, do you know what that is?" The kid looked unsure, so I explained to him how a hawk eats harmless mice, for sustinance, and how the hawk doesn't care what it hurts, as long as it gets to eat. While I was kneeling there, more little kids gathered around, and listened to my pleas. One goes "that's bullshit, he loves us".
I was about to reply with, "I thought he loved me too, I used to be one of you" but just then, the one that opened his mouth, looked over my head, and scooted to the right, a little. All in one motion, I heard this loud percussive bang that I felt with every fiber of my body, it seemed to go off in the room, and in my head at the same time, accompanied by a warm THUMP, in my left ear. The bang was so realistic, I can still hear it, almost. I *felt* it.
Here's where it gets weird to describe. I had gotten shot in the head. Shadow was standing right behind me, and when I fell, he said "I knew I'd get you eventually". But, in my dream, I got up, and I was like "no, no, it's cool! I'm ok, check it out, I'm fine!" I kept saying that, and I walked forward, and around the corner, where I thought the EMT might be, or some help or something. But, at the same time, I knew I wasn't fine, that I was lying there dead, and people were reacting like I was killed.
Then I woke up.
It's so strange, the dream was so vivid and realistic, and detailed, I'm not sitting here recalling it like it was some patchy weird dream. It feels like a memory, and that really bothers me. I've never had a dream do that before.
Generally, I analyze my dreams, to find some thread of meaning, or why I dreamed it, or something. I'm still so fucked up over this, I don't want to touch it, yet.
Background: I seldom talk about my distant past, but this is crucial to understanding the dream. I'll make this as short as possible. Maybe one day I'll blog the details. In a nutshell. I hung out with this guy Shadow, when I was a kid. We were best friends/fuckbuddies. We each had our own SO's, but we were together, in an untypical sense, I guess. So, he had this little group, when I was with him, we ranged in numbers from 4-7, and we thought we were some serious bad-ass shit. We sparred with live steel all the time, carried katanas under our trenchcoats, got into real fights, etc. We lived in a dark fantasy world, basically, and it was exhilarating. I 'broke up' with him, and the group, when I was 18. Long story short, he stalked me for three months, and that culminated into him breaking into my house, and trying to kill me. He got arrested, etc. There's loads of details to that, but unpertinent to my dream.
That was all RL, and distant past, now for the dream.
Irv, Alden and I were in 'our house' which was similar to the one we're in now, but the one in the dream was bigger, and on a more rural road. I was in the kitchen, when I saw Shadow and Anthony (another dangerous character, human poison, that one) cross the lawn. I didn't really think anything of it. They walked up to my kitchen window, that I was peering out of, and I ducked down real quick. They looked inside with binoculars, then sorta milled around a little, and left. (n real life, this would send me to the phone, dialing 911, in the dream, I was like "hunh".
Time passed, in the dream, and it was understood that stuff like that happened a few more times, like it was clear they were casing our place, or scoping us out, or something. It didn't happen in the dream, but I "knew" it, and for some reason didn't say anything about it.
It happened Sunday afternoon, it was definitely a Sunday, and sunny as hell out, almost supernaturally so. Shadow and Anthony showed up again, but this time at the bar across the street. I kept seeing them go in and out, and glare at the house. Soon kids started showing up. Kids of all ages, from young 9-10 year olds, right up to 20somethings, and milling around in the bar parking lot. Every time I looked out there, there were more kids. I told Irv "um, maybe we should call someone, this is getting scary" He agreed, and I called the police. They wouldn't send anyone, except one EMT. The EMT showed up, parked in front of the house, hopped out of the ambulence, and sorta leaned on the hood all casually.
Soon, all the kids started organizing, and lining up. They lined up like kids do for group school pictures, in rows. There were easily over a hundred of them. Taller ones in the back, some sitting, some crouching. Directly across the street, and all facing the front of our house. They had huge stockpiles of rocks, and tiny hard pumpkins. I called out to the EMT, "aren't you gonna do something?" He said "lets just hope your windows hold out" and he hopped back in his ambulance. Shadow and Anthony were in plastic chairs in the bar parking lot, and seemingly uninterested in the whole thing, but, you knew they were organizing it, because they kept glancing at certain people, and nodding. They appeared to be deep in an unrelated conversation, but their eyes were different.
It was over almost as soon as it started, they swarmed the house, hurling rocks, and hard little pumpkins, banging on the doors and windows, trying to get in, at us. We stayed in the living room to watch, but well away from any windows. But that only lasted a few minutes. Sirens started wailing, and they all dissapeared into the house next door. There was all this commotion, and it started getting dark out.
Then, it was like something really awful happened. You know, when there's a house fire or something, and the neighbors all mill around staring? Well, that's what was happening, all our neighbors were hanging around, filing in and out of this house, somberly. The kids were everywhere also just sorta standing around all somber. It looked almost like a house party, but no one was partying.
For some reason, we went over there to see what was up, filing in the front door slowly along with everyone else. I got sidetracked in a hallway, because there was this kid that looked like Alden, there, but he was blonde, and older. I glanced up, through to another room, looked like a living room, and there was Shadow sitting on a couch, with a girl in one arm, and Anthony sitting next to him, laughing and having a good time. He didn't notice us, and he was a safe distance away.
I crouched down near the little boy, and asked "Do you follow Shadow?". He was like "yeah, I love him". I told him, "He's a predator, do you know what that is?" The kid looked unsure, so I explained to him how a hawk eats harmless mice, for sustinance, and how the hawk doesn't care what it hurts, as long as it gets to eat. While I was kneeling there, more little kids gathered around, and listened to my pleas. One goes "that's bullshit, he loves us".
I was about to reply with, "I thought he loved me too, I used to be one of you" but just then, the one that opened his mouth, looked over my head, and scooted to the right, a little. All in one motion, I heard this loud percussive bang that I felt with every fiber of my body, it seemed to go off in the room, and in my head at the same time, accompanied by a warm THUMP, in my left ear. The bang was so realistic, I can still hear it, almost. I *felt* it.
Here's where it gets weird to describe. I had gotten shot in the head. Shadow was standing right behind me, and when I fell, he said "I knew I'd get you eventually". But, in my dream, I got up, and I was like "no, no, it's cool! I'm ok, check it out, I'm fine!" I kept saying that, and I walked forward, and around the corner, where I thought the EMT might be, or some help or something. But, at the same time, I knew I wasn't fine, that I was lying there dead, and people were reacting like I was killed.
Then I woke up.
It's so strange, the dream was so vivid and realistic, and detailed, I'm not sitting here recalling it like it was some patchy weird dream. It feels like a memory, and that really bothers me. I've never had a dream do that before.
Generally, I analyze my dreams, to find some thread of meaning, or why I dreamed it, or something. I'm still so fucked up over this, I don't want to touch it, yet.
[Listening to: 1000 Memories - Bad Religion - (3:00)]
OMG AN EPIDEMIC!
You Are Scary |
 You even scare scary people sometimes! |
Have I mentioned? I love bloggy quizzies.
[Listening to: Love's So Heavy - Henry Rollins Band - (3:52)]
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TITO!!
OMG, I am remiss in my Birthday etiquette! When you told me, back about a month ago, I was like "ooh, cool, I'll be sure to wish him a happy birthday on my blog"
That's what that "dammit what was I going to say?" entry down there was for, NOW I REMEMBER!
Happy Birthday, man!
That's what that "dammit what was I going to say?" entry down there was for, NOW I REMEMBER!
Happy Birthday, man!
[Listening to: Best Sunday Dress (unplugged) - Hole - (3:05)]
OMG Ally found this, but OMG
You Know You're From New Jersey When... |
You've been seriously injured at Action Park. You know that the only people who call it "Joisey" are from New York (usually The Bronx) or Texas. You don't think of citrus when people mention "The Oranges." You know that it's called "Great Adventure," not "Six Flags." You've ordered a hard roll with butter for breakfast. You've known the way to Seaside Heights since you were seven. You've eaten at a diner, when you were stoned or drunk, at 3 am. Whenever you park, there's a Camaro within three spots of you. You remember that the "Two Guys" were from Harrison. You know that the state isn't one big oil refinery. At least three people in your family still love Bruce Springsteen, and you know what town Jon Bon Jovi is from. You know what a "jug handle" is. You know that a WaWa is a convenience store. You know that the state isn't all farmland. You know that there are no "beaches" in new Jersey - there's "The Shore," and you know that the road to the shore is "The Parkway" not "The Garden State Highway." You know that "Piney" isn't referring to a tree. Even your school cafeteria made good Italian subs, and, you call it a "sub" not a "submarine sandwich" or worse yet, a "hoagy" or a "hero." You remember the song from the Palisades Park commercials. You know how to properly negotiate a Circle. You knew that the last question had to do with driving. You know that "Acme" is an actual store, not just a Warner Bros creation. You know that this is the only "New..." state that doesn't require "New" to identify it (like, try ...Mexico, ...York, ...Hampshire (doesn't work, does it?). You know how to translate this conversation: "Jeet yet?" "No, Jew?" You only go to New York City for day trips, and you only call it "The City." You know that a "White Castle" is the name of BOTH a fast food chain AND a fast food sandwich. You consider a corned beef sandwich with lettuce and mayo a sacrilege. In the 80's you wore your hair REALLY high. You don't think "What exit" (do you live near?) is very funny. You know that the real first "strip shopping center" in the country is Route 22. You know that no respectable New Jerseyan goes to Princeton - that's for out-of-staters. The Jets-Giants game has started fights at your school or local bar. You live within 20 minutes of at least three different malls. You can see the Manhattan skyline from some part of your town. You've gotten on the wrong highway trying to get out of Willowbrook Mall. You've eaten a Boardwalk cheesesteak with vinegar fries. You have a favorite Atlantic City casino. You live within 20 minutes of at least three different malls. You refer to all highways and interstates by their numbers. Every year you have at least one kid in your class named Tony. You know the location of every clip shown in the Sopranos opening credits. You know that people from North Jersey go to Seaside Heights, and people from Central Jersey go to Belmar and people from South Jersey go to Wildwood. You weren't raised in New Jersey -- you were raised in either North Jersey, Central Jersey or South Jersey. You don't consider Newark or Camden to actually be part of the state. You remember the stores Korvette's, Two Guys, Rickel's, Channel, Bamberger's and Orbach's. You also remember Palisades Amusement Park. You start planning for Memorial Day weekend in February. You've never pumped your own gas. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from New Jersey. |
THAT'S CRAZY!
[Listening to: Low Self Opinion - Henry Rollins Band - (5:25)]
Wee quizzes!
|
You Are a Snarky Blogger! |
 You've got a razor sharp wit that bloggers are secretly scared of. And that's why they read your posts as often as they can! |
10.25.2004
Wooh!
Congrats GE He's gone and spawned, his wife is due in June! I'm so happy for you guys! Just what the world needs, a mini-you...*shudder* Lets hope your wife's genes are stronger...
[Listening to: Theme Song - Lunachicks - (6:40)]
The Suck
Last night, in all the commotion, the mister lost the car keys. I still can't find them. Three cheers for my spare set, but still. My house key is on there too, etc etc.
Also, some bitchass punk fucker stole two pumpkins from my little fall harvesty decoration, outside. I CAN'T FUCKING HAVE ANYTHING NICE. It sucks, because they were the little ones we bought for Alden to paint (which we were gonna do tonight, paint and carve them up). He noticed on his way out, this morning, and he was heartbroken. Now I have to go get replacements, but still. I'm thinking of making a sign.
"TO THE BITCHASS PUNK WHITE TRASH MOTHERFUCKER WHO STOLE MY SON'S PUMPKINS...I hope you fucking enjoy them."
I hate this town. Have I mentioned that? I hate living across the street from a bar. I hate living on a main road. I hate this town.
Today=The Suck
Also, some bitchass punk fucker stole two pumpkins from my little fall harvesty decoration, outside. I CAN'T FUCKING HAVE ANYTHING NICE. It sucks, because they were the little ones we bought for Alden to paint (which we were gonna do tonight, paint and carve them up). He noticed on his way out, this morning, and he was heartbroken. Now I have to go get replacements, but still. I'm thinking of making a sign.
"TO THE BITCHASS PUNK WHITE TRASH MOTHERFUCKER WHO STOLE MY SON'S PUMPKINS...I hope you fucking enjoy them."
I hate this town. Have I mentioned that? I hate living across the street from a bar. I hate living on a main road. I hate this town.
Today=The Suck
[Listening to: The Ripper by Judas Priest - Iced Earth - (2:41)]
Poor Frankie
I leave the house this morning, to take Alden to school, and stop at my mom's house. Gone an hour, total, and I come home to Harmony hanging off my moniter, leaning into the tank. The repaired screen on top of Frankie's tank is all blown out again, more gouges, and he's way in the corner.
This can't be good for him.
I can't leave him alone in the house, I'm not sure what to do, when I have to go get Alden. If it were warmer out, I would just take him with me, but bringing him out in 40 degree weather would kill him, surely. I want to buy the reinforced metal screen lid, but I can't even leave the house to go do that. He's got no protection, now, the screen is useless, hanging.
I'm thinking about kicking the cat outside, but that's cruel too. She's been an indoor cat, since she was a kitten, winter's coming, and we live on a very busy street (two of our cats already got nailed, since I've been living here, but the mister said there's literally dozens buried in this yard, and that one.) Having her live outside isn't really an option.
Short term solution: Lock one of them in the bathroom, while I go out. (the only room with a functioning door...long story). It'll probably be the cat, less of a hassle to get her in there, and she could do with a little isolation, the bitch.
This can't be good for him.
I can't leave him alone in the house, I'm not sure what to do, when I have to go get Alden. If it were warmer out, I would just take him with me, but bringing him out in 40 degree weather would kill him, surely. I want to buy the reinforced metal screen lid, but I can't even leave the house to go do that. He's got no protection, now, the screen is useless, hanging.
I'm thinking about kicking the cat outside, but that's cruel too. She's been an indoor cat, since she was a kitten, winter's coming, and we live on a very busy street (two of our cats already got nailed, since I've been living here, but the mister said there's literally dozens buried in this yard, and that one.) Having her live outside isn't really an option.
Short term solution: Lock one of them in the bathroom, while I go out. (the only room with a functioning door...long story). It'll probably be the cat, less of a hassle to get her in there, and she could do with a little isolation, the bitch.
[Listening to: Never Is A Promise - Fiona Apple - (5:56)]
Close Call
It really was. This sort of thing makes me examine why I keep pets. Like, do I need this kind of stress on top of things? I'm seriously ready to get rid of the cat. I mean, I love her, we've had her for 4+ years, since she was a wee kitten, but she's getting really bad. Lately, she's been pissing around the house, and I don't know why. We keep her litter box spotless (we have to, it's in the kitchen...) but, she's pissed in our bed a few times in the past few weeks. Luckily, it's only been in the blankets, never seeped through to the mattress. I swear, I'd hurl the thing right out onto the lawn, and sleep on an air mattress, till we could replace it. So, pissing, and she's been antisocial, too. She doesn't sleep with us anymore, and she acts all distancy.
Today, though...I don't know, if she doesn't shape up, she's outta here.
We went to my mom's for dinner, were there from about 3, till close to 9 pm. Arrived home to a Scene, that made my heart leap out of my chest. First off, the living room was in RUIN. The TV tray I usually have near my computer desk was knocked over, and the stuff on it, spilled across the floor. Frankie's two lamps were on the floor, but still on (HELLO FIREHAZARD, a 60w bulb, laying on the rug) and his tank was all fucked up. The branch was down, his dishes were all upturned...but it looked like the lid was still closed. Moved some stuff, to get to it (seriously, furniture was knocked over) praying that it really was still closed, and discovered the truth. The cat had RIPPED the screen clean off. She broke the plastic frame, that the screen was anchored in, gouged the screen itself, and tore it off wholesale. Words can not describe the horror...
Background: 6 years ago, we had a cat named Bailey, and a juvenile beardy named JD. Bailey once got into JD's tank, and well...we thought he at JD. We tore the house apart looking for the poor lizard, and nothing. Seriously, JD was gone. I looked through Bailey's litterbox for remains, for the next month, and nothing. I cleaned out his tank, but left it up. I was heartbroken, I loved my JD, only had him for about 6 months. Fast forward 6 weeks. I was awoken by some commotion, one morning, and I swear to god, I thought I saw a ghost. There was JD, on the floor of my bedroom, near the bed...paper white, and thin as a rail. I nearly died, I scooped him up, and soaked him real quick (he was clearly dehydrated) and got him back situated as fast as possible. His orbital was broken, then healed, so he lost the use of one eye, and he was missing toes, and the tip of his tail, but he was ALIVE. The sad thing is, that after that, he was a changed reptile, never let anyone pick him up, he was very agressive, and skittish, and he never grew after that. Those 6 weeks must have been insanely stressful, I still don't know where he was living, or what he was living on...the mister thinks cat food, and sleeping under the fridge.
Anyway: Tonight, it's like a fucked up flashback. Get home, empty tank, beardie nowhere to be found. We tore the living room apart, and the mister found Frankie under the printer cart, alive, uninjured, and very very cold. He didn't seem too stressed, though, he wasn't freaking out. Just, cold. He's back home, we did an emergency repair on the screen lid, and it's good as new. He's fine, eating normally, etc.
I'm not fine, though. God. I'm still shaky from losing Pixie, earlier this year. Losing another one would kill me. Seriously, I would stop keeping pets, totally, I think. Just..I don't know, I couldn't handle it. Frankie is just a little baby, and so full of life. Thinking of him being injured in any way...well, I'd rather not.
The cat, on the other hand, might be looking for new living quarters, soon, seriously. We were both out of the room, earlier, and I caught her staring him down again, and intimidating him. That's gotta be stressy for the little guy. I totally can't trust her. Tomorrow, I'm getting the metal-screen reinforced lid, cat-proof, but still her peering at him, and batting at the glass is enough to shock him. Here I thought I could trust her, she was so docile when we had JD, and she's never cast Pris a second glance. Fucking bitch of a cat. I'm harboring ill will towards her, now. I'm not sure what to do.
Today, though...I don't know, if she doesn't shape up, she's outta here.
We went to my mom's for dinner, were there from about 3, till close to 9 pm. Arrived home to a Scene, that made my heart leap out of my chest. First off, the living room was in RUIN. The TV tray I usually have near my computer desk was knocked over, and the stuff on it, spilled across the floor. Frankie's two lamps were on the floor, but still on (HELLO FIREHAZARD, a 60w bulb, laying on the rug) and his tank was all fucked up. The branch was down, his dishes were all upturned...but it looked like the lid was still closed. Moved some stuff, to get to it (seriously, furniture was knocked over) praying that it really was still closed, and discovered the truth. The cat had RIPPED the screen clean off. She broke the plastic frame, that the screen was anchored in, gouged the screen itself, and tore it off wholesale. Words can not describe the horror...
Background: 6 years ago, we had a cat named Bailey, and a juvenile beardy named JD. Bailey once got into JD's tank, and well...we thought he at JD. We tore the house apart looking for the poor lizard, and nothing. Seriously, JD was gone. I looked through Bailey's litterbox for remains, for the next month, and nothing. I cleaned out his tank, but left it up. I was heartbroken, I loved my JD, only had him for about 6 months. Fast forward 6 weeks. I was awoken by some commotion, one morning, and I swear to god, I thought I saw a ghost. There was JD, on the floor of my bedroom, near the bed...paper white, and thin as a rail. I nearly died, I scooped him up, and soaked him real quick (he was clearly dehydrated) and got him back situated as fast as possible. His orbital was broken, then healed, so he lost the use of one eye, and he was missing toes, and the tip of his tail, but he was ALIVE. The sad thing is, that after that, he was a changed reptile, never let anyone pick him up, he was very agressive, and skittish, and he never grew after that. Those 6 weeks must have been insanely stressful, I still don't know where he was living, or what he was living on...the mister thinks cat food, and sleeping under the fridge.
Anyway: Tonight, it's like a fucked up flashback. Get home, empty tank, beardie nowhere to be found. We tore the living room apart, and the mister found Frankie under the printer cart, alive, uninjured, and very very cold. He didn't seem too stressed, though, he wasn't freaking out. Just, cold. He's back home, we did an emergency repair on the screen lid, and it's good as new. He's fine, eating normally, etc.
I'm not fine, though. God. I'm still shaky from losing Pixie, earlier this year. Losing another one would kill me. Seriously, I would stop keeping pets, totally, I think. Just..I don't know, I couldn't handle it. Frankie is just a little baby, and so full of life. Thinking of him being injured in any way...well, I'd rather not.
The cat, on the other hand, might be looking for new living quarters, soon, seriously. We were both out of the room, earlier, and I caught her staring him down again, and intimidating him. That's gotta be stressy for the little guy. I totally can't trust her. Tomorrow, I'm getting the metal-screen reinforced lid, cat-proof, but still her peering at him, and batting at the glass is enough to shock him. Here I thought I could trust her, she was so docile when we had JD, and she's never cast Pris a second glance. Fucking bitch of a cat. I'm harboring ill will towards her, now. I'm not sure what to do.
[Listening to: Lady in black - Dark tranquillity - (4:19)]
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