What else?

So, school started back up, for Alden.

The week prior, I was alternately excited for him, because I loved the first days of school, and worried. I've been trying to get him to read all summer long, and he's been uninterested, at best. I'd have him grab a book, and sit next to me on the couch, while we read together, for half hour blocks. He would, grudgingly, but I found out too late in the summer that he was sitting there staring into space for the duration. I started testing him on what he said he was reading, and he would stare blankly. So, the past few weeks, we were actively reading out loud, and I was giving him written Q&A on the material he read...I was dismayed at his progress, or lack thereof. In fact, he's gone backwards, this summer.

Today was the second day, and already his teacher had to see me after class, and show me an assignment that he didn't finish. He had to write a paragraph, on the most memorable thing he did, this summer... Not only did he not even do that, he destroyed the paper, in the process. Second day of school, and he's the only kid with homework. I was unhappy, to say the least. His teacher lectured him, on the spot. I lectured him all the way home, where my mother was hanging out in the driveway, she let him have it too. Irv came home briefly to pick up Luiz and the trailer, and Irv yelled at him. On his way out, Luiz also let Alden know how dissapointed he was.

I had to ask, after we got inside, and everyone was gone..."Alden, do you like this? Do you like your entire family so dissapointed with you? Is this how it's gonna be for the next 179 days?" He doesn't like it, but apparently that prospect didn't have enough impact to get him going, either. Starting at 4:00 I gave him a half hour to brainstorm an idea for his paragraph. He didn't do it in time. I took away his privelages for the rest of the day. I gave him till 5. He finished it by 5. I gave him 45 minutes to write a first draft (in my house, every writing assignment goes in drafts, without exception) of seven sentences...this isn't brain surgery, he's eight years old. 45 minutes, seven sentences. He didn't finish. He lost tomorrow's privileges too. Instead, I watched him line up erasers like cars, move his paper around till it was perfectly even to the bottom of the table, stare off into space, pick his toes, etc. Left alone, with no company and no outside stimuli, he would rather do nothing, than get his job done. I gave him till 6:30 to finish it, final copy, and all. He failed that too. He lost privileges till Thursday of next week. Losing privileges means no free time after school. He does his homework by a certain time, then his chores, then extra ones that I think of, then he sits with me, and reads his book, aloud (so I know he's not staring off into space). At 7 pm, he was going to lose them for 2 weeks, but he slid the paper in, one paragraph by 6:58.

I'm really distraught.

He's on a strict timetable, right now, with each stage of his day clocked out, he has to be. I hate living like this, I hate making him live like this, and I would never enact such strict measures, if I didn't think he needed it. He always gets a chance to prove himself, first, and he inevitably fucks up, forcing me to give him a strict, almost militaristic schedule.

Nothing seems to be getting through. No threat scares him. It got so bad, last year, we actually unplugged the TV and DVD player from his room, and removed it, for 6 months. We've taken everything away, till all he had was school, homework, chores, and sleep. Apparently, it still doesn't phase him. When life is good, which we get for brief windows, he gets lots of playtime, we have a huge yard, he has a thousand dollar swingset, xbox, ps2, endless movies, gameboy, and...he goes 70% of his life merely staring at these things longingly, as he screws another day away, taking 4 hours to finish what could be done in 15 minutes.

Now, not every day is like this. When he wants to, he will gladly dash out an assignment in 20 minutes. If he's interested in the work, or just feels like doing it. He reads ok still has a bit of trouble with comprehension, and he writes well. He has a vast understanding of sciences and interest in mathmatical stuff. If he were stupid, I could accept his issues, I would understand and work around it. The fact that he's not, makes this stuff all the more difficult.

Right now, I'm sitting here recovering from a slamming headache. This year cannot go on like this.