9-11-01

I posted this on ACF, in response to a "where were you on 9-11-01" thread. Normally I don't talk about it, don't think about it too hard, but that thread got me writing. It was a very impactful thing in my life, many people from our town, and our area were killed and many more lost family members. We live in a huge commuter area. The area was in a state of depression for months, I remember Peter going to funerals every single week, just about, clear into January, because of all this. Most of his office was wiped out. A friend of ours was working in her high-rise office, a few miles away, with a clear view of the building, and watched the whole thing unfold, in great detail, from her desk. She had to go through therapy for over a year. I figured I'd copy this over here, just to remember. It was like the entire state went into deep mourning. No one smiled, much, people went around with a somber air. It was really remarkable. Every store, every organization had huge things setup for donations. We went to Costco 2 days later, and they had huge trailers open in the front, with guys loading stuff in. You could go into the store, with a list, and buy up needed stuff, and the guys would load it in. We donated about $300 worth of stuff, cases of water, dogfood, clean socks, batteries, nonperishable snacks and food, for the rescue workers. But, this is where I was, at that moment.


The first plane hit at 8:42, and I was tending to my son's morning routine. He was only 3, we were getting ready to go to daycare. My husband called at 8:45, and yelled for me to put on the TV, or go outside and look across the water, I did both. I ran outside to a thin column of smoke rising over the water, and watched the live coverage of the plane smacking into the building over and over, and the newscasters being like "what a horrible accident, I wonder what happened, was it an equipment failure?" Then, the second one hit, and at first, the newscasters (and everyone else, it seemed) thought it was just another replay of the first one, from another angle. Then, the truth came out, and it was the second plane, the second tower. I couldn't even go outside to look, after that, it was just TOO real. I skipped school, and Alden stayed home with me, that day.

I sat there riveted, on the corner of my bed, with Alden in my lap, just watching agape, as the whole tragedy unfolded. I had all the TVs on in the house, I just kept drifting from room to room, in this zombie like state. It hit me the hardest, though, when the buildings fell, because before that, there was hope. Rescuers were there, people were getting out, getting saved. When they fell, it was the ultimate finality. I spent time calling the people I know that worked there, Joe, the guy across the street, Pete, my stepbrother in law. As far as I knew they were trapped in there. Hell, as far as Joe's wife knew, he was. He wasn't, he happened to be working in the building across the courtyard, and they all evacuated when the plane hit, but couldn't get out of the city till much later. Pete was late for work that day, because his youngest daughter made him take her to school, so he was on a train going into work.

Friends and family from out of state called throughout the day, seeing how our area was, if anything happened to us, because we're right across the water from it. My dad was particularly worried. I remember him trying to convince me to move to Guam, heh. Nothing happened to us, obviously, but the smell, and the smoke. The air was filled with this ozone-y smelling dust for over a week afterward. I've never smelled anything like it, and I probably never will again, but it defines the "smell of death" for me. I live on a main road, going down to the beachfront, and all day, it was bumper to bumper traffic, of people filing past, to go see. It was horrible, that was the worst sight to me. It looked like the majestic NY skyline, with its front teeth busted out. There were these two pillars of HEAVY black smoke, rising from the area for a few days afterward. The weather was crisp and beautiful, with a pure blue sky, with these two black streaks, that seemingly went on for miles, marking it.