So, in that last WoW post, I lamented and pissed and moaned. I was verging on quitting the game, I started AC again (which, while prettier than it used to be, is still on the clunky side, compared to WoW...) etc. Well, as a last ditch attempt to rescue it, I played on my "vacation char" My paladin, Dawna, over on Twisting Nether. I created that char when the server opened, as a way to get away from the guild bustle, and have some peace, as well as a little world PvP (I loves me some PvP). Luiz started playing Leonorous, again, the char he made there, to hang out with me. We were having...FUN! Wee! Guilty fun...we'd left all of OOH behind. I made one post, on the forums, inviting everyone to join us (defying the very nature of a vacation char...) and the rest is history. Within one week, we had 15 people (mostly core OOH members, with a few new guys that we picked up along the way). We all started chars around the same time (I'm playing a priest now...weird), so the bulk of the guild (besides the original 2, Dawna and Leo) are between level 15 and 23. It's awesome. The guild is in full swing, with a tabard, and a decent crafting pool. We're back to being a little family, having full groups of people all doing the same thing, having from 5-10 people on every night. It feels like it did a year ago, when we were an upstart guild, but with better, more mature people, with a better chemistry. Hell, last night, we all qued up for the sub-20 Battlegrounds, with a full group, and got in within 5 minutes. And...WON. Being a priest in a PvP situation is definitely interesting.
When I'm not playing WoW, I managed to get Luiz into NWN, so I play HoTU solo, or I coach him. Last night, we multiplayered HotU, just so I could teach him the basics of the game. I gotta teach that boy that every game is not a fighting game, and sometimes it behooves you to read the text, and make enlightened choices. Sometimes, the object of the game is not to simply plow and fight through the levels. He's played way too much xBox in his day. His idea of a good game is 'winning' with the highest numbers, the best gear, the fastest mob-takedown. NWN isn't a fighting game, it's an RPG. He's new at the concept.
2.20.2006
2.19.2006
I Want to Kill Bill.
So, Irv's gotta stop hanging out with this skinhead guy. He's worse than a skinhead, this guy. He's a junkie, straight up. He makes skinheads look bad. He's a bigot, and mess. Irv works with him, this guy named Bill, and Bill is rubbing off on him.
When Bill first started working there, about 2 years ago, Irv hated him. Guys's a scumbag, racist, hates women, alcoholic, crackhead. He deals drugs out of county trucks, I could go on and on. Irv hated him. Over time, though, Bill kinda grew on Irv.
Bill's a funny guy (you know, when he isn't throwing bottles out the window of his truck, at Mexicans on bikes) he's the life of the party. He's charismatic! Irv used to hate Bill, then he tolerated him...lately, Irv's been hanging out with Bill. Listening to Bill spew hate filled racist bullshit. Listening to Bill regale him with tales of nightly bar brawls, and how he fucked this bitch, or did lines off this whore's ass. Oh, Bill is so funny! So cool! Bill makes prank calls to escort agencies, looking for, uh, women of color, then asks if he can shit on their chest! Oh, Irv thinks that's just a riot. The other night, Bill appeared at my door, so drunk he could barely stand up, with a bloody gash across his forehead. He wanted to see if Irv could come out to play. Irv asked, "one beer? Please?" Sure, go, go. They went to the bar across the street. 4 hours later, Irv came back, WASTED (I don't think I've ever even seen him this drunk) stinking of 'bar' and with stories of Bill and his Friends. I was a little pissed, as you might imagine. I just ignored him, when he walked in the door, and ordered him to shower that stink off (that bar REEKS, like worse than most. I mean most bars smell like cigarette smoke and stale booze, but Aders has this underlying smell of nasty old cheese). He passed out, etc, and the next morning we talked about it. He hasn't gone back out, like that, he knew it pissed me off. Bill pisses me off.
It's been building gradually, but stuff is happening that I can't ignore. Lately, Irv's been coming out with some shit that really pisses me off. I'll mention something, like "My mom's been talking to this Indian guy online, says he's a doctor, wants to take her out for Indian food...I think she'd hate Indian food..." His answer to that line of conversation was "Oh, he's probably not a doctor, you know all those Indian guys, so sleazy..." What the FUCK? Where the hell did that shit come from? I fucking yelled at him, told him to keep that stereotype-racist bullshit out of my house, and away from Alden. The other night, driving through Keansburg, he went on a tirade about the town being a welfare state, and how They ruined what was once a pretty shore town. He was just rattling on and on, till I told him to watch out, he almost hit a woman walking across the street...he was like "Heh, the town would pay me to take one out, that'll make my taxes this year 3/10 of a penny less. Hurhurhur"
It's fucking out of control.
Last night, there was this guy walking around the resturaunt we were at...ok, he looked a little rough, sorta rumpled, and dressed very poorly, dirty sweatshirt, but whatever. So, Irv had to run back in the place, after we left, because I thought I left my iPod behind. The guy was going out the in door, and bumped into Irv. Irv made a comment like "watch where you're going, jerkoff" and the guy stopped and challenged him. I'm all "walk away walk away walk away...let's go, he's a fucking idiot, let's just go". No. Irv, the BIG MAN had to get right up in his face, and posture, and say shit. I'm dragging Alden to the car...then the guy's friend shows up. Irv gets in both their faces, saying all this shit, like he's gonna DO SOMETHING. (Right.) He's all staring them down, posturing, acting all tough... Seriously, he would have gotten his ass kicked. The guys noticed Alden and I standing there, and was like "Look at you, fucking acting like this in front of your wife and kid, let's go, I don't want to kick this guy's ass in front of his boy" and they left, with Irv shouting after them the whole time. I swear, if I had the keys, I would have hopped in the car and left him there. I was actually embarassed.
It's Bill. Irv...never fights, anymore (not that I've seen, ever...hell, you know my history, even when it COUNTED, he wouldn't jump in and fight, not even to protect me.)
Bill needs to go. I heard he put in for a transfer, so that's good. Apparently, he can't drive down the road in Holmdel, without getting pulled over. Looks like he flipped off one too many Holmdel cops. Add that to his priors, and the fact that he's awaiting trial, for posession...Heh, I think Bill's leaving the district soon, one way or another. I wish he'd left 6 months ago.
Irv needs to control himself, again. I think I'm going to have a serious talk with Irv.
When Bill first started working there, about 2 years ago, Irv hated him. Guys's a scumbag, racist, hates women, alcoholic, crackhead. He deals drugs out of county trucks, I could go on and on. Irv hated him. Over time, though, Bill kinda grew on Irv.
Bill's a funny guy (you know, when he isn't throwing bottles out the window of his truck, at Mexicans on bikes) he's the life of the party. He's charismatic! Irv used to hate Bill, then he tolerated him...lately, Irv's been hanging out with Bill. Listening to Bill spew hate filled racist bullshit. Listening to Bill regale him with tales of nightly bar brawls, and how he fucked this bitch, or did lines off this whore's ass. Oh, Bill is so funny! So cool! Bill makes prank calls to escort agencies, looking for, uh, women of color, then asks if he can shit on their chest! Oh, Irv thinks that's just a riot. The other night, Bill appeared at my door, so drunk he could barely stand up, with a bloody gash across his forehead. He wanted to see if Irv could come out to play. Irv asked, "one beer? Please?" Sure, go, go. They went to the bar across the street. 4 hours later, Irv came back, WASTED (I don't think I've ever even seen him this drunk) stinking of 'bar' and with stories of Bill and his Friends. I was a little pissed, as you might imagine. I just ignored him, when he walked in the door, and ordered him to shower that stink off (that bar REEKS, like worse than most. I mean most bars smell like cigarette smoke and stale booze, but Aders has this underlying smell of nasty old cheese). He passed out, etc, and the next morning we talked about it. He hasn't gone back out, like that, he knew it pissed me off. Bill pisses me off.
It's been building gradually, but stuff is happening that I can't ignore. Lately, Irv's been coming out with some shit that really pisses me off. I'll mention something, like "My mom's been talking to this Indian guy online, says he's a doctor, wants to take her out for Indian food...I think she'd hate Indian food..." His answer to that line of conversation was "Oh, he's probably not a doctor, you know all those Indian guys, so sleazy..." What the FUCK? Where the hell did that shit come from? I fucking yelled at him, told him to keep that stereotype-racist bullshit out of my house, and away from Alden. The other night, driving through Keansburg, he went on a tirade about the town being a welfare state, and how They ruined what was once a pretty shore town. He was just rattling on and on, till I told him to watch out, he almost hit a woman walking across the street...he was like "Heh, the town would pay me to take one out, that'll make my taxes this year 3/10 of a penny less. Hurhurhur"
It's fucking out of control.
Last night, there was this guy walking around the resturaunt we were at...ok, he looked a little rough, sorta rumpled, and dressed very poorly, dirty sweatshirt, but whatever. So, Irv had to run back in the place, after we left, because I thought I left my iPod behind. The guy was going out the in door, and bumped into Irv. Irv made a comment like "watch where you're going, jerkoff" and the guy stopped and challenged him. I'm all "walk away walk away walk away...let's go, he's a fucking idiot, let's just go". No. Irv, the BIG MAN had to get right up in his face, and posture, and say shit. I'm dragging Alden to the car...then the guy's friend shows up. Irv gets in both their faces, saying all this shit, like he's gonna DO SOMETHING. (Right.) He's all staring them down, posturing, acting all tough... Seriously, he would have gotten his ass kicked. The guys noticed Alden and I standing there, and was like "Look at you, fucking acting like this in front of your wife and kid, let's go, I don't want to kick this guy's ass in front of his boy" and they left, with Irv shouting after them the whole time. I swear, if I had the keys, I would have hopped in the car and left him there. I was actually embarassed.
It's Bill. Irv...never fights, anymore (not that I've seen, ever...hell, you know my history, even when it COUNTED, he wouldn't jump in and fight, not even to protect me.)
Bill needs to go. I heard he put in for a transfer, so that's good. Apparently, he can't drive down the road in Holmdel, without getting pulled over. Looks like he flipped off one too many Holmdel cops. Add that to his priors, and the fact that he's awaiting trial, for posession...Heh, I think Bill's leaving the district soon, one way or another. I wish he'd left 6 months ago.
Irv needs to control himself, again. I think I'm going to have a serious talk with Irv.
2.06.2006
Time to bitch about WoW
I'm breaking this into chunks. I guess I did have stuff to talk about.
So, I've been playing for over a year. Remember how smitten I was? I was in deep smit. It was the best game ever (it's still damn good, don't get me wrong).
I've logged in maybe twice, in the past week, and they were under duress. No one is on anymore. When we once had 15-20 people on, during peak times, now we have 5-maybe. There's a wait to get on the server, that's well over an hour, at times. That's ruined it for a lot of us. We're grownups, we have lives. We only HAVE an hour to play, some nights. You log in, and see "You are #896, estimated wait time 1 hour 47 minutes" and...well fuck that. Fuuuck that. Especially because you know everyone else worth playing with logged in and went "whoa, 2 hours? fuck that!" and went off to greener pastures.
Then there's what to do, if you actually weather the wait. Let's see. We could get in and do [insert one of 5 level 60 instances that don't require 40 people here] for the 900th time. Or, we could play alts! Yay! Let's go through Redridge for the 50th time, or we could PvP in the Battlegrounds, and wait for 1-3 hours, to get in THAT game (because the 2 hours you waited through, to log in, clearly wasn't enough, you masochist). And, boy, its so worth the wait, when you get in, to have a little fun with killing other players...when the Horde afks out, and you get kicked RIGHt back out into the line, again! What? 2 hour wait, and we only got to play for 45 seconds! Awesome! *gets back in line*
How. Fucking. Annoying.
The game itself, mostly, isn't bad. It's good. Last night, I played on another server, on an anonymous alt, and I had fun *just* playing.
I have to find that, again, but on MY server, with MY people.
I can't help but take the game itself seriously. It's not about the game, it's about the people, I sincerely love the people I've met, there, and I pine for that level of friendship when I'm not in it. So, just the very nature, as in the game is the crucible for some of my friendships, I have to evaluate stuff, and try to make an effort, to play.
In the meantime,though, I'm about to stress test D&D Online. It looks like it'll be amusing, but definitely not The Next Big Thing. I also, in a fit of drunkenness, ordered AC's expansion. You remember AC? That game I played like 2-4 years ago? I've got this deep nostalgia for it, and I sense that it's mostly bullshit I've been working up in my mind. The game should be here tomorrowish. I'll put THAT bullshit to rest. Or, I'll end up falling in love with it all over again, and playing. Who knows? It's something to do.
Blizzard, make me love you again. Where did we go wrong?
So, I've been playing for over a year. Remember how smitten I was? I was in deep smit. It was the best game ever (it's still damn good, don't get me wrong).
I've logged in maybe twice, in the past week, and they were under duress. No one is on anymore. When we once had 15-20 people on, during peak times, now we have 5-maybe. There's a wait to get on the server, that's well over an hour, at times. That's ruined it for a lot of us. We're grownups, we have lives. We only HAVE an hour to play, some nights. You log in, and see "You are #896, estimated wait time 1 hour 47 minutes" and...well fuck that. Fuuuck that. Especially because you know everyone else worth playing with logged in and went "whoa, 2 hours? fuck that!" and went off to greener pastures.
Then there's what to do, if you actually weather the wait. Let's see. We could get in and do [insert one of 5 level 60 instances that don't require 40 people here] for the 900th time. Or, we could play alts! Yay! Let's go through Redridge for the 50th time, or we could PvP in the Battlegrounds, and wait for 1-3 hours, to get in THAT game (because the 2 hours you waited through, to log in, clearly wasn't enough, you masochist). And, boy, its so worth the wait, when you get in, to have a little fun with killing other players...when the Horde afks out, and you get kicked RIGHt back out into the line, again! What? 2 hour wait, and we only got to play for 45 seconds! Awesome! *gets back in line*
How. Fucking. Annoying.
The game itself, mostly, isn't bad. It's good. Last night, I played on another server, on an anonymous alt, and I had fun *just* playing.
I have to find that, again, but on MY server, with MY people.
I can't help but take the game itself seriously. It's not about the game, it's about the people, I sincerely love the people I've met, there, and I pine for that level of friendship when I'm not in it. So, just the very nature, as in the game is the crucible for some of my friendships, I have to evaluate stuff, and try to make an effort, to play.
In the meantime,though, I'm about to stress test D&D Online. It looks like it'll be amusing, but definitely not The Next Big Thing. I also, in a fit of drunkenness, ordered AC's expansion. You remember AC? That game I played like 2-4 years ago? I've got this deep nostalgia for it, and I sense that it's mostly bullshit I've been working up in my mind. The game should be here tomorrowish. I'll put THAT bullshit to rest. Or, I'll end up falling in love with it all over again, and playing. Who knows? It's something to do.
Blizzard, make me love you again. Where did we go wrong?
2.05.2006
Mindy, for you.
Well, for me too, since it's been forever. But, I thought you would like seeing your name up there.
Every time I come back here and post after forever, I justify it by "well, life is boring, nothing blogworthy, I'm a happy girl"
It shouldn't be like that, I don't think. I think it should be just a stream of consiousness thing, happy or upset, whatever. Just because I once used it as a sounding board and a place to work shit out, doesn't mean I still have to. I've just gotten extremely lazy about it. I'll fess up.
So, the past two days, Irv and I have been toiling away, unpacking, emptying boxes, cleaning out next door, and boxes in the shed. A few of them were just boxes of stuff my mom unceremoniously dumped out of my drawers, from my old room, as I was in the process of moving out. Nice of her to inform me of their existance 9 years after the fact...I thought she just threw all that shit out. But, it was definitely a trip, going through all those old boxes, of stuff from when I was around 16-19, and thinking about those times. Lots of positive stuff, lots of stuff that made me think about Guam, and Jill, a definite positive time. Lots of things though, pointed at a very angry, depressed Lisa. Nothing outright. I know where the real angry writings are, I kept them, kept them safe. But, in doodles, drawings, song lyrics, etc. Some things, without even meaning to, just vibrated with depression and angst.
Also, lots of the things I was unpacking were books. I've been setting up my library-space, in this little walk-in closet thing,in my room. It's very cool, Irv made shelves to line the walls, and we're filling it with pillows, and rugs. Very comfortable little personal space. It made me think of things, too. I'm still into the same things, I still have books from when I was 12-13, and I still READ them (granted...I was into Stephen King, and Forgotton Realms at that age...not like I read kiddy lit now...not that there's anything WRONG with kiddy lit...alright, shit, I do read it anyway...talking myself in circles...stopping now). But, the point is, I was placing books on these shelves that I've had for 15 years. Being surrounded by them, was like being surrounded by old friends. That's such a cliche, but it's so true.
All that walking into the past made me reflect on how far I've come, and what life is like, for me now. Honestly, I couldn't be happier. I feel...blessed... I feel CHARMED. I feel lucky, and happy. I have almost everything I could want. I'm 27, have this awesome kid, husband, some of the best friends anyone could ask for. (Maybe, I'll post on friends, later. I don't blog enough about friends.) I'm just gooshy about it.
I feel grown up, I feel like a mom. I'm accepted by my mom-peers, I do the playdate thing, I do the classroom thing. I can relate to people on that level. I used to feel totally alienated from the other mom-types, around the school...but any more, I'm like...one of them. Just when I think I'm all grown up...I manage to suprise myself. Still. Punch me in the eye if I ever start driving a Volvo, ok? But, I feel grown up, and I feel like I can hang with that crowd. I can trade chicken recipes, and commiserate about the second grade spelling tests, like anyone.
I can still also play Halo till my eyes bleed. I'm a little kid, at heart.
I've blogged about it before, I know, but this weekend,and past few weeks have brought me to a very firm realization about it. So much so, that I don't question "who I am" anymore. I just am. And, I am happy.
Every time I come back here and post after forever, I justify it by "well, life is boring, nothing blogworthy, I'm a happy girl"
It shouldn't be like that, I don't think. I think it should be just a stream of consiousness thing, happy or upset, whatever. Just because I once used it as a sounding board and a place to work shit out, doesn't mean I still have to. I've just gotten extremely lazy about it. I'll fess up.
So, the past two days, Irv and I have been toiling away, unpacking, emptying boxes, cleaning out next door, and boxes in the shed. A few of them were just boxes of stuff my mom unceremoniously dumped out of my drawers, from my old room, as I was in the process of moving out. Nice of her to inform me of their existance 9 years after the fact...I thought she just threw all that shit out. But, it was definitely a trip, going through all those old boxes, of stuff from when I was around 16-19, and thinking about those times. Lots of positive stuff, lots of stuff that made me think about Guam, and Jill, a definite positive time. Lots of things though, pointed at a very angry, depressed Lisa. Nothing outright. I know where the real angry writings are, I kept them, kept them safe. But, in doodles, drawings, song lyrics, etc. Some things, without even meaning to, just vibrated with depression and angst.
Also, lots of the things I was unpacking were books. I've been setting up my library-space, in this little walk-in closet thing,in my room. It's very cool, Irv made shelves to line the walls, and we're filling it with pillows, and rugs. Very comfortable little personal space. It made me think of things, too. I'm still into the same things, I still have books from when I was 12-13, and I still READ them (granted...I was into Stephen King, and Forgotton Realms at that age...not like I read kiddy lit now...not that there's anything WRONG with kiddy lit...alright, shit, I do read it anyway...talking myself in circles...stopping now). But, the point is, I was placing books on these shelves that I've had for 15 years. Being surrounded by them, was like being surrounded by old friends. That's such a cliche, but it's so true.
All that walking into the past made me reflect on how far I've come, and what life is like, for me now. Honestly, I couldn't be happier. I feel...blessed... I feel CHARMED. I feel lucky, and happy. I have almost everything I could want. I'm 27, have this awesome kid, husband, some of the best friends anyone could ask for. (Maybe, I'll post on friends, later. I don't blog enough about friends.) I'm just gooshy about it.
I feel grown up, I feel like a mom. I'm accepted by my mom-peers, I do the playdate thing, I do the classroom thing. I can relate to people on that level. I used to feel totally alienated from the other mom-types, around the school...but any more, I'm like...one of them. Just when I think I'm all grown up...I manage to suprise myself. Still. Punch me in the eye if I ever start driving a Volvo, ok? But, I feel grown up, and I feel like I can hang with that crowd. I can trade chicken recipes, and commiserate about the second grade spelling tests, like anyone.
I can still also play Halo till my eyes bleed. I'm a little kid, at heart.
I've blogged about it before, I know, but this weekend,and past few weeks have brought me to a very firm realization about it. So much so, that I don't question "who I am" anymore. I just am. And, I am happy.
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