Having said that, this is sorta important.


Some people have zero communication skills.

"You wouldnt' have the answers. You wouldn't know what to do. You wouldn't have the patience to do this"


My mother is coping with serious problems, these days, in my grandmother's old house, in Perth Amboy. Some asshole mayor is on an urban renewal kick, and forcing all the old-timeys out. He wants strip malls, where houses and old main streets were. He wants waterfront condos, rather than an old wharf, and he has a good buddy who owns a development company.

This is all bad news for the people that live there, obiviously. My grandmother's house was built in 1899, and the moved into it in 1952, as a two family. In 1962, the last time it was inspected, it was declared a 3 family. Now, it's a huge house, with 2 smaller houses in the back, 3 big floors, and a huge yard. My mother had 5 families living comfortably there.

Here's where it gets sticky. My mother rents to illegal aliens. People from Poland, Russia, The Czech Republic, and other eastern block nations. She has one legal hispanic lady, living in the back house with her two kids. That house hasn't been inspected properly since 1962. My theory, is that she rents to illeagals, so that no one will sue her if something goes wrong, and if need be, she can just evict them. The house is clean, and well maintained, there's no doubt, she's there every week, almost every day. Her tenants are good, quiet and clean, and the rent is low. SO FAR it's been a good situation, though less than legal.

Then came the lawsuit. The neighbor was visiting someone, and tripped on a piece of uneven cement on the property. He sued. The insurance company is handling it, but this sparked all sorts of problems. First, my mom had to replace all the uneven stonework in the back yard, and rather than hiring a paving company, and doing it right, she hired day-workers to haul bags of cement back there, and do it half-assed. The job was a big one, and took all summer. It looks good, and they did a passable job, but do you think any permits were aquired? Haha, my mother never gets permits for anything. Then, one of the neighbors tipped the town off about all the work being done, and an inspector showed up. The job was fine, and all, but the guy inspected the houses, too.

Found two more apartments than there were permits for (one of the back houses was an apt built in the 70's over a shed, and the other was a converted attic). NOW, my mom could finally get her head out of her ass, and stop dancing with the law, and do it the legal way, by making the whole place up to code, and therefore infallible. She could get a loan, make it all *right* and do it up. It'll be costly, but then they can't bug her about the house.

Or she could fight the town, with a lawyer. Which she is. Which is entirely stupid. Rather than spending the money on righting the wrongs, she's hiring a lawyer with some convoluted idea of trying to prove that the third floor was an apartment long before 62, and that the inspector was sorely mistaken.


After I listened quietly to her rant, I was like, ah, well we all have issues with the town (more on my problems in a future rant) best to just spend the money now, and make everything perfect, so that they can't get to you again about things. Make them happy, or they'll force you out, somehow. She argued with me, and challenged me to do better than she is. Hence the above quote. Blegh.

It sounds narcissistic, but I know with 100% surety that I could do better, given the experiences I'm having with my own domiciles.

I know it's been awhile since I posted here, but I decided not to clutter things up with daily drivel. This is only for things I need to write about. Stuff that seems important to me.

This afternoon, I visited a chatroom that I haven't been to in a year or more. I used to be a regular there, and just got bored with it, as I inevitably do with all online communities. Well, I followed a friend in there today, and it was akin to falling into a time wrinkle... Like I hadn't even missed a day. Same group of people, same conversations. It was just strange.

Brigid, the great mother goddess of Ireland,
represents fertility, childbirth, power,
creativity and inspiration. Also known as
Brighid, Brigit and Bride, she is credited as a
protectress and guardian of children; also a
Goddess of fire, the sun, music and medicine.

And I'm Brigid, too. I could have guessed at that one. I'm a classic mommy, even when I wasn't a mommy. Mommy is my natural role in any group of my friends. I cook for them, I offer motherly sense and wisdom, and my shoulders are soft and very absorbant.

I'm a dark, spicy, mother goddess. Yes I am.

YOU ARE BASIL


What herb are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


Hunh. I'm basil.

Today, it hasn't worn off. I'm less manic about it, but my mind is still bursting with books to read, and things I have to reteach myself. I'm heading out now, to look for a new blank book, and to the craft store to look for something to sculpt a new set of runestones out of. My old ones were discs of clay that I hand shaped, but I can't find them. I found one, lone rune. This has gotta be some kind of sign. The rune is Kaun, the torch. The rune of the craftsman, it stands for determination, ambition, inspiration...

It felt like cleaning house, but in my brain. I had my epiphany, today, maybe last night. Either way, it fully sank in, today sometime. All my old books. All my lessons, candles, insence, thoughts, feelings, ties to the Old Ways, everything had gone dusty and disused. Blame it on stress, blame it on imbalance, blame it on seeking too far, and leaving my truths behind. Hell, I have no idea. Whatever happened, I had somehow shucked off my spiritual wings, and let my personal power fall by the wayside. My books had gone dusty, and some missing. I even threw one or two away, I think (!!)

So, last night, I was looking for something to read, to numb my brain to sleep. I grabbed Scott Cunningham's Living Wicca off my shelf, and took it to bed with me, expecting to do the usual, read a few pages and pass out. I was up till 4 a.m. I finished 150 pages of it, before my body finally shut down. Even as I drifted off to sleep, with a prayer of thanks to the Goddess on my lips, I was mentally charged. My brain was zinging with energy, that I haven't felt in five years or more. Today, I ripped through the last 50 or so pages, soaking up every word like a thirsty flower, or a parched ground. That was when it hit me. The things missing from my life. The Goddess, The God, my sense of spiritual self, my Truths, my power, my Old Ways that I once doted upon and cherished.

They're back now. Tonight, I ransacked the house, in a frantic fervor to dig up my texts, my books, my comforting friends, my writings, my Book of Shadows, and my objects of power. Lucky for me, I discovered about 99% of them. I'm still out one book, and my old Book of Shadows is defiantly missing, but here I sit amidst about 20 books. That pleases me. I'm over my Book of Shadows. I have to make a new one. The old one will have lost it's oomph. It wasn't doing something, for me, else I wouldn't have slipped off like that.

I feel right again. I feel whole. I feel like a teenager. I really do feel like I did when I started on my Path. Filled with passion, and thirst, love, and wonderment. There is so much...I don't know...energy? For lack of a better word. It's spilling out! I had to channel it into writing! I haven't really written in 6 years or more. Inspired by a few friends, and this was something I had been meaning to do for months, I started a blog.

Here it is. The results of my epiphany. More to follow!